I’m becoming tight with money, AIBU to ask how I reverse this?

[rorotheo]

I am being irrational and I know this deep down. I am slowly becoming tight with money. I buy cheaper alternatives and will go out my way for them when I don’t need to, always search for a discount code or a website that we can use our blue light on. You could say it’s frugal but I also don’t spend much on people’s birthday gifts and will go to card factory to buy a 50p card rather than one for £2 in a supermarket, so I think it’s bordering on becoming stingy.

I have around £500 left over after all essential bills. Some of that I like to try and save.

I could do with a new wardrobe for autumn as I had a clear out last year and nothing fits me now. It’s hard to find one garment for under £35 these days and that’s in places like H&M, Primark, Asda George… you can so easily spend £50 on a couple of items without even trying

We needed new bedding and a mattress protector and that was almost £100. I spent it but worried all the way home!

How can I worry less?

I know I watch too much of the news and I am very mindful that some people are really feeling the bite of the cost of living crisis. I donate to the food bank where I can (usually toiletries, packs of sanitary towels, gluten free & free from items)

We earn averagely but live within our means, don’t have any debt. I rarely use a credit card and only for big purchases and then pay it off straight away. We have never gone ‘without’ yet I worry constantly about a huge bill coming up, how we’ll afford a holiday in 5 years time, all that kind of stuff.

But nothing suggests she did wipe out her savings...

@latetothefisting

Yes that's what we try and do.
We try and allocate money to all essentials and savings each month on month pay day but also allocate money for more funds stuff.

It's really important I think to have something money ring fenced for fun if you can afford it.

@TheAOEAztec

She has to told us a ball park figure so it's impossible to judge.

I think it's really normal to price check now. It's so easy NOT to spend the full price on things it would seem silly not to do a quick google before pressing 'buy'

You seem to have two 'problems'.
a) Trying to save money. This is not a problem, provided you're not being penny wise, pound foolish.
Your time has a monetary value (or opportunity cost). Is going out of your way to the CardFactory, instead of the supermarket, worth it? Alternatively, why don't you bulk buy and have a ready stock of cards at home?

Even people who can afford to buy whatever don't waste money. You just need to work out what your priorities are, yes it all adds up. Nothing wrong with that, especially if you're not harming anybody why do you care about being 'stingy'?

b) Constant anxiety.
People are negative creatures OP. MN, the media constantly bang on about the state of the country you'd think we were all going to starve and die tomorrow. Yes. things are not as good as they once were, but if acknowledging that is just going to send you into an anxiety spiral it's better to just shut it off. Stop watching so much news, focus on practical actions you can take.

Absolute majority of people would really say so logical assumption based on that and tone of poat is it has not wiped out savings, but OP is anxious about spending overall.
Whih is not healthy. It's good to be aware but anything can turn into problem if taken to extreme

I absolutely agree but we don't know what extremes we aren't talking about.

I have a very rich friend, huge house all paid for, dh has enormous salary, she has also a very good job, and family money and it's tiresome listening to her stress about money. It'd and state of mind.

I'm a lot like this.

I do the savings and let my husband but the meals out (these are rare and a basic pub lunch!) Because I can't help but add things up and wonder if I've had the enjoyment/value from them.

The trouble is it's difficult because an ice cream here and a lunch rather than packed lunch etc soon add up to a couple of hundred quid over a month and then everything's not comfortable!

I'm trying to tell myself I'll let go a bit more when the kids get older. Right now they don't care about brands and are delighted with a camping holiday but it won't always be so. I do worry it will be a mindset I can never get out of though.

Probably always been this way. I was the kid that brought back the money given to me for a school trip because everything in the gift shop seemed a waste of money.

I'm the same Op. We are doing okay but the increase in costs is worrying me and I do similar things such as by the cheap birthday cards, always look for discount codes. I keep track of our finances daily & compared to others we are really lucky. We can save each month, have a holiday each summer, kids do hobbies but I really worry about something going wrong and us being in a pickle.
I do think it comes in cycles. We've had times where money has been tight before & times where it we've had more disposable income. I'm sure it will come back round again.