Don’t want sex with my husband

[Ariel896]

I have a 6 year old and 6 month old. I literally hate my husband touching me in any form. We haven’t had sex since we conceived the baby. All form of libido is completely dead to me. I EBF My baby but I also EBF my 6 year old and I didn’t feel this repulsed by sex or touch. In fact we went straight back to it and I enjoyed it. Is something wrong with me? I feel so bad on him. He’s been so understanding but I don’t know how long it will last. Any advice?

Join the club op I'm got an 8 month old and I'm in the same boat as u can't stand being touched x

4yr old and 9 month old here, and yep, feels the exact same. Formula fed both so wasn’t linked to BF for me. Same happened last time as well and libido came back after about a year. Hubby is very understanding but it’s still difficult and I feel bad. Feel I give 200% of myself to the kids, and other people every day, and have nothing left for him at the end of it all. So hard! No advice, but solidarity, and reassurance/ hope that it WILL come back! In the meantime, maybe just try making extra effort to put the phones/ tablets down at night for even half an hour, cuddling on the couch, small kisses through the day, or touching hands now and again? Build it up gradually. I totally empathise! Xx

Thank you both so much for answering. I appreciate the solidarity. And hope things get better for you guys too xx

I remember feeling this with young children, for me it was a mixture of tiredness and simply being all touched out.... Once the kids became more independent I was able to find space for me and my dh

Your hormones are going to be different with every pregnancy and post pregnancy. Your hormones will change again after weaning from bf. They likely won’t be the same as before the pregnancy. After my last pregnancy I would literally get nauseous at the thought of being touched. But after weaning off bf it took a few months but I was back to normal again. Hopefully you can explain to your husband what you’re dealing with.

I was/am the same. I have a nearly 4 year old and a one and a half year old. Still breastfeeding the younger one, and breastfed the bigger one until 18 months. Libido was ok after I had my first but only started coming back after my second a couple of months ago.

Something I read on another forum that was helpful: after you have children you might no longer be the person you were, sexually, before you had them. You might be into different things now and see yourself differently, and it can take time to reconnect with yourself and your partner.

It is difficult to do this if your baby isn't sleeping through the night yet or is unsettled. This is not to say you need to sleep train, but just to give you an idea of timings.

it can help to take sex completely off the table for a few weeks/maybe a month and just let yourself have kisses and cuddles with your partner, with no pressure to lead to anything more.