DS is just about to go into Y10 so career choices are a way off yet, but his older brother has just done extremely well in his GCSEs and this has got him thinking about his future. He enjoys school and is doing well so far.
Ex failed all O levels and late did an access course to get to uni to read history but dropped out just before his finals – this was before I met him. He’s intelligent but has never had a career, is a ‘musician’, and is always skint, though a recent inheritance means he now owns his own home outright but he’s still short of cash. Has never contributed financially to the dc as he doesn’t earn enough.
DS tells me that whenever he talks about potential jobs he may do with his dad, he dismisses them as boring! DS talked about doing a law degree – ‘boring’, according to his dad, accountants – all boring people, apparently. Basically, anything that’s not arts-based will be dull and result in the dc having boring lives. My own degree is in English but I’m happy for the dc to do absolutely anything they like and more than anything, do not want them to follow their dad’s example, which surely he wouldn’t want either?
When ds was telling me this, I ended up saying something along the lines of his dad having a pretty boring life not being able to afford to do anything and it not being boring to have an ambition and see it through by working hard to get where you want to be. I feel I was very critical and harsh. Both kids agreed with me.
WIBU? I’ve always been at pains not to say anything negative about ex, although there has been plenty I could say over the years, and this was without a doubt the most critical I’ve ever been. I just snapped as I couldn't believe that after all the years of doing nothing practical to support them, he now appears to be actively discouraging them from having aspiration. I feel a bit funny about it now though…