Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to expect NOT to get abuse because I haven't brought my mums card round yet?

4 replies

LadyOfWaffle · 02/03/2008 13:15

While I was making DSs lunch the phone rang literally about 10 times in a row (something my mum always does, I know it's not an emergency) and when I rang back after finishing the lunch, my mum started shouting and ranting at me about "this is Mothers Day, but I don't suppose you know that??!?" - kicked off by me saying I may be able to come round and collect something sometimes yesterday, and didn't have time in the end. She then gave off about her Birthday and Christmas - both of which I gave her a card for, we just cannot afford presents. We can afford something small, but then it's almost worse than getting nothing at all - like 2 years ago when I spend ages making her up a basket of flowers, with ribbons round the handle and it was just looked down on (my sister sent a big bouquet in the post) (and I was being induced that evening). SHe then just stopped talking on the phone, so I hung up. My sister used to get her nothing when we were childrem, I spent hours handmaking cards and flowers but now my sister can afford to bung her a few fancy bunches and I am the "bad one" out of us. FFS, my sister earns more than my DH, lives at my mums still and my mum pays her car insurance, gym membership and all the bills... I am just sick of being the one who gets the brunt of all the abuse. She forgets it's Mothers Day for me aswell, she just behaves like a spoilt brat.

OP posts:
hecate · 02/03/2008 13:18

I hope you are not going to go round at all now!

franke · 02/03/2008 13:21

Tell her directly when she behaves like a spoilt brat. Stop making the effort because it is just a weapon that she is beating you with and stop allowing her to make you feel like this (easier said that done I know, I've been there, and still go there occasionally...). But really, the best way to handle spoilt brat parents is just feign indifference, even if you are seething inside. Sorry this has happened to you today, I'm not surprised you're hurt and angry.

LadyOfWaffle · 02/03/2008 13:30

I won't go there now. At times like this I feel like just cutting her out (not completely though) but then I think "oh, well she is my mum... this is just the way she is" She can be nice sometimes - really nice, but when she is nasty, she is really really nasty. She sees nothing at all wrong in her behaviour (like just the other day I was upset and she got angry, threatening to call SS (??!!?)) Sorry for ranting, I hate bad mouthing my mum so much but sometimes she just pushes me right to the edge. She is so power crazy, obsessed with money - she will insult anyone and everyone to make herself feel good. You just never know what she is going to say/do next

OP posts:
franke · 02/03/2008 13:47

Sounds like you do need to create a bit of distance. I have had similar issues in the past with my own mother, all bound up with her relationship to my other siblings, playing me off against them etc etc. I've moved away (abroad actually) and I just don't get sucked in like I used to and consequently she has backed off. But just occasionally she takes me completely by surprise and presses one of my buttons and leaves me reeling (and ranting). I'm 40 - I really should have grown out of this by now

New posts on this thread. Refresh page