Wanting to give up on my friend

[Champgal]

I have a friend who went threw a really bad time about 6 months ago. Long term partner who she lived with cheated and they broke up, she struggled financially and her beloved cat got ran over all in pretty quick succession. Since then she’s moved in with a guy she met 2 months ago and she wants to get a better job. She applied for my job twice and got knocked back however I spoke to my boss and got her an interview to find out that she told my manager in the interview she would decide in a few days if she would like the job and she wasn’t sure. Naturally this has put off my boss from hiring her as many many extra keen people have applied and she doesn’t want to hire someone who doesn’t seem sure. My boss told me that the friend I recommended didn’t seem to want the job and there for she wasn’t sure she would consider her. I asked my friend what happened and she seemed really shocked and told me she really wants the job, she said she was just nervous to make a big change and she really wants it so I told her to email my boss and explain as she’s made a not great impression, for my friend to then start having a go at me for making her feel like she flunked it! I was trying to do my friend a favor and knew that if she followed up she may salvage the interview but in her opinion I am meddling. I don’t want to fall out but also feel like I’m bending over backwards trying to help my friend who doesn’t seem willing to help her self. Am I being unreasonable by not supporting my friend with this

No YANBU of course but now is the time to step away. Leave her to it. She’s being very childish and unfair to you but she’s obviously in the midsts of a difficult period and not being rational. But that’s her life to sort out - you’ve done all you can. Time to shrug your shoulders and let her stew for a bit, or say “Welp, let me know when you feel like meeting for a coffee!” (if you want to see her again, that is) - and leave it there. No more drama.

I know you’re trying to help but it’s never a good thing to mix friends and business. Your friend either isn’t sure of the job (her perogative) or doesn’t want and you’re prodding at her and telling her to get on it. When I was job hunting I had friends trying to help by pushing me at jobs I knew I wasn’t able for but I felt obliged to go for them. Plus maybe she’s afraid of working with you which will nearly always affect a relationship. I’d say step back and just go back to being friends

You've been supportive but it's not your job to sort her out. Back off the job stuff and get back to the regular relationship. It's her responsibility to get work sorted. You've done your bit there.