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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think she needs to get some perspective?

30 replies

SunsetsInVenice · 01/09/2023 22:14

Went out with sister today and she seemed really stressed. Firstly on the train as a few people kept banging the windows shut really loudly which was making her jump out her skin. Then the weather as it was raining constantly and was meant to be sunny for most of the day. Then she knocked her coffee over herself and over her phone at lunch and almost cried. Was spoken to a bit harshly in tesco by a member of staff as she didn't put something in the right place on the self serve till. Then a dog jumped up at me making me jump and fall back. I was fine but shaken but sister was really annoyed with the owner. Then we decided to call it a day as was just becoming too stressful but that wasn't the end. She nearly got into a argument with two teenage boys who kept knocking into her on a busy train as they were not holding onto anything. I get it was all a but annoying but she seems to take it so personally and I do agree that with her, nothing seems straight forward amd irritation dies follow her around. But aibu to say she needs to get some perspective? She does have it rough. Single, health issues and a few money problems at present but I feel that if she relaxed a bit, these things wouldn't bother her so much ?

OP posts:
Holly60 · 01/09/2023 23:26

BafflingAndBothersome · 01/09/2023 22:29

I do wonder whether mindset has something to do with it

How exactly does her mindset attract these things?
Her mindset is likely due to the fact it’s that things are always happening to her.

'These things ... happening to her' include a dog jumping up at her sister (so not actually happening to her at all) some people closing windows on a train (they snap closed without any active banging usually), the weather not being perfect, and some teenagers being a bit over the top and silly on a train.

Granted it's mildly irritating when you spill a drink over yourself and I'd probably take agin a Tesco employee telling me off but I'm neither would be day ruining.

I think OP's sister needs to get a grip to be honest

Holly60 · 01/09/2023 23:27

SunsetsInVenice · 01/09/2023 22:33

I get it's frustrating but when she says things like 'someone up there must hate me' and takes it all so personally then it makes it all worse. I think if she stopped thinking that way and tried to just accept it as a part of life, albeit an annoying side then it would be easier on her.
Some people do have it a lot easier than others and don't come into the irritations that she does but life isn't fair. I just want her to feel happier and calmer.

I agree OP she sounds infuriating. These are minor irritations that one should be able to laugh at really.

mdinbc · 01/09/2023 23:28

My older sister is a defeatist as well. My cup is half full, hers is half empty, and probably soured milk.

It's very hard to convince someone that things aren't that bad. Maybe just try to avoid busy, crowded situations? Take her out, or meet her nearby to where she lives, somewhere quiet for a lunch.

Sueveneers · 02/09/2023 13:09

It reminds me a bit of Steve Martin's character in Planes, Trains and Automobiles. Everything bad happened to him. Everything. And he was very uptight. However John Candy's character was easy-going and things fell in his lap.

SunsetsInVenice · 02/09/2023 18:29

That's what I mean @Sueveneers .

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