Silly row :-(

[snickersicecreampls]

Had a lovely day with the kids today, DH met some friends for a few drinks after work so I did bath and bed with older DC, he got back and we settled down to watch a programme together. He was fiddling with his face for ages (it was annoying) I asked him what he was doing and he said trying to squeeze a spot. I said can you not do that right here please? It's a bit gross?

Anyway, he stormed off in a mood, went straight to bed (leaving me to get our baby ready for bed and not able to go have a shower as I had planned to before bed). He's had his time today - he had a good 4 hours with his buddies after work. I don't mind this at all but I do mind him refusing to assist with baby while I got myself ready for bed. Baby is super fussy in the evenings for context. I even went up and said can you come and help me please - he said no and pulled the duvet over his head.

I'm just fuming. It was a silly thing but he's made it big. I've not had 5 mins to myself today and those 5 mins before bed to shower, remove my makeup and just get myself ready for the night shift with baby are important to me.

He will 100% act like nothing has happened in the morning. I dont like going to bed on an unresolved row and won't sleep well, he's snoring his head off already. I think this is a bigger problem of him never able to resolve issues or communicate he's a real stormer offer and brush under the carpet the next day.

I just feel really hurt and angry to be honest. Did I really deserve that?

Well it does depend how you said it but it is a bit gross yeah! Whatever you did though NEVER LET THE SUN GO DOWN ON A ROW. I’d not be happy with him either OP he needs to step up he’s a dad not a kid!

He sounds like a child. I couldn’t cope with the pettiness and sulking and yes he should pull his weight.

Does he make a habit of leaving you to be the default parent?

Assuming you weren’t more aggressive than you describe, yes he is being daft and no it is definitely not ok to refuse to heji with the baby.

Make a time to talk to him about it tomorrow. Make sure you get a few hours off over the weekend while he holds the fort. And next time consider putting the baby on the bed next to him and going for a lie down on the sofa..

I hate him on your behalf. Selfish dick.

what bizarrely childish behaviour from a grown adult. does he do anything else odd?

Take him up a bottle of milk and a rusk.

He sounds like a big fat let down of a guy

From someone who's just had a similar argument YANBU.....he needs to grow the fuck up just like my "man child" needs to!!!!! Feel your pain OP X

I would be putting the baby on the hed and telling him I'm going for a shower. You can't behave like a sulky child when you have an infant to look after. He isn't going to ignore his child there after you walk away.

I also would bot tolerate behaving like nothing happened. I refuse to play that game - it would be "I'm very unhappy with the way you behaved towards me last night. I won't be pretending that none of that happened, let me know when you're ready to talk about it like an adult and partner". If that turns it into a bigger row then so be it. Better to have 1 big one and lay down the law in oder to stop them thinking they can take the piss out of you.

Do you always insist he sits like a statue?

picking at a spot is a bit grim, bit you didn't know that, he just annoyed you because he was fiddling with his face. If you can't telex stop home, where can you?

yeah it was childish to strop off, but he'd had a few drinks & it is was probably showing some self restraint not telling you to fuck off & leave him be.

why didn't you just go and pass him the baby & go in the shower. Or do what single patents do put the baby in a bouncer in the bathroom or in their cot?

He was childish, but you're being a martyr.

What a stupid man child.
Is there any reason baby can't just sit in the bouncy chair for 5 minutes whilst you have your shower etc. This is what I used to do as my ex was a selfish, useless let down of a man.

Of course the baby can go in a bouncer, I solo parent probably 80% of the week, but after not 5 mins to myself all day it's the principle of it to me, it's our routine, he takes the baby while I go get ready for bed in peace.

I think things get brushed under the carpet too as we have children so they're always there, the next chance we have to be alone and discuss will be evening time by which point it feels stupid to raise again!

He just has some really gross habits recently and it does bother me because he sits on the sofa and does gross things that I would do in private - think along the same lines as squeezing spots. Maybe I'm a bit uptight but it's not very attractive!