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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Supervised contact and sick child. What do I do?

17 replies

Sporkle99 · 01/09/2023 20:04

My child (5) sees their dad every other week in a contact centre, supervised. Have been doing this for the past few months. Never been late, never missed a session. Am abiding by everything the court has ordered. Problem is, they're meant to go tomorrow, but has a temp of 38.3 which had only materialised in the last hour. Can't call the contact centre for advice as it is too late (have sent a text), haven't been given any information re what to do in this situation, etc. Their dad drives 3.5 hours to see them, and all hell will break loose if I cancel. Equally I am worried that if I send them in tomorrow for contact and they're unwell, I'll be 'told off' and their dad will have to drive 3.5 hours back.

Does anyone here work in a contact centre? Or used one? What do I do?

OP posts:
Kittybelle123 · 01/09/2023 20:11

I have no experience of this, but want to keep it bumped for you. I hope you get the answer you need Flowers

Tomorrowwillbeok · 01/09/2023 20:14

Unless it will result in the child been distressed send them, they can always watch something on an iPad with their Dad. Let the contact centre know you are available if the child needs collecting early and how they have been overnight. Dose them up with calpol before they go.

Whattodo112222 · 01/09/2023 20:15

I can help you with that . My daughter sees her father at a contact centre too.

If she's been too unwell to survive the 90 minute drive I have cancelled but always offered either a supervised zoom call or to make up the contact the following week.

Children get ill, however the court do expect the "spirit of the order" to still be kept up.

I would cancel on the basis your child is too unwell but offer a makeup session.

Don't worry about him kicking off.. I've missed 3 sessions due to my DD being unwell.. but have made them all up.

Original poster
Sporkle99 · 01/09/2023 20:20

The refusal of ice cream makes me think it is going to be worse tomorrow. I guess I won't know until the morning I'm just do anxious about coming across as obstructive or causing problems in the court's eyes.

OP posts:
Whattodo112222 · 01/09/2023 20:25

I wouldn't cancel in the morning if he has a 3.5 hour drive....

Original poster
Sporkle99 · 01/09/2023 20:26

Whattodo112222 · 01/09/2023 20:25

I wouldn't cancel in the morning if he has a 3.5 hour drive....

I can't cancel now because they're not open

OP posts:
Sirzy · 01/09/2023 20:26

How far away are you from the centre?

Whattodo112222 · 01/09/2023 20:26

Can't you drop them a text to ask them to inform him and follow up in morning. That's what I do. They use a mobile number.

Original poster
Sporkle99 · 01/09/2023 20:28

Sirzy · 01/09/2023 20:26

How far away are you from the centre?

I'm only 10 mins away. He's 3+ hours

OP posts:
sparepantsandtoothbrush · 01/09/2023 20:30

Does everything have to go through the contact centre with no other contact? Sorry, I genuinely don't know but was wondering if you could contact another family member to let him know you're cancelling once they open but needed to let him know before he left for the long drive?

Original poster
Sporkle99 · 01/09/2023 20:31

Whattodo112222 · 01/09/2023 20:26

Can't you drop them a text to ask them to inform him and follow up in morning. That's what I do. They use a mobile number.

I've already text saying that he's unwell, I'm happy to take as long as feeling OK tomorrow however wanted their advice re if they had a policy around this. Maybe wasn't the right text but when you're dealing with a DA perp it's hard to know what to do.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sporkle99 · 01/09/2023 20:32

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 01/09/2023 20:30

Does everything have to go through the contact centre with no other contact? Sorry, I genuinely don't know but was wondering if you could contact another family member to let him know you're cancelling once they open but needed to let him know before he left for the long drive?

I have zero contact with him due to DA found in the courts. He's not allowed to communicate with me in any way shape or form.

OP posts:
Whattodo112222 · 01/09/2023 20:33

I've given you a suggestion. My daughter has had 3 years of contact centre contact so I'm well averse to it. As long as you make up the missed session then he has nothing to complain about.

Original poster
Sporkle99 · 01/09/2023 20:35

Whattodo112222 · 01/09/2023 20:33

I've given you a suggestion. My daughter has had 3 years of contact centre contact so I'm well averse to it. As long as you make up the missed session then he has nothing to complain about.

Thank you

OP posts:
Daffodil18 · 01/09/2023 21:05

If you’re only 10 minutes away and it’s still only a slight temperature then just take your DC for a short visit. At least you’re showing willing.

Sirzy · 01/09/2023 21:10

Daffodil18 · 01/09/2023 21:05

If you’re only 10 minutes away and it’s still only a slight temperature then just take your DC for a short visit. At least you’re showing willing.

I agree. Unless they are too poorly to travel I would go for this aproach.

towriteyoumustlive · 01/09/2023 21:10

It isn't a massively high temperature and just 10 minutes away.

Give them calpol an hour before then take them.

Kids get ill. It's dad's turn to deal with poorly child. No big deal.

(Unless child vomits of course...)

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