I honestly feel like I'm having a mid life crisis. I don't feel depressed, but I feel utterly bored and stuck and without purpose- I mean genuinely, deep to the bones. I have spent most of my life driven, ambitious, tenacious with a creative career that, externally, seemed to be successful. The truth is financially it wasn't, and I just stopped a year or so ago. I couldn't find the drive. Now I just work, freelance work, to earn some cash.
My friendship circle seems to have shrunk - people moving, school age kids changing and the parental involvement going. I spend way too many evenings watching TV, but I am exhausted and I can't be bothered to do much else. I exercise a lot, I eat healthily, I don't really drink.
I crave something but I don't know what. A purpose? A sense of meaning again? Some fun? i love my husband, he's a great partner and father, but he's not lighting me on fire either at the moment. It's not his fault, it's mine.
I think about just walking out one day...but I literally have no desire to even do that. It's like I've just been unplugged.