To do the course if I don’t plan to go to university

[CathrynD]

Hi. Just wanted to start out by saying I have adhd and i sometimes ramble on a bit so I apologise in advance. So, I’m 40 years old, have an almost adult ds and my youngest ds is 13 and has autism. Basically at the age I am I still have zero confidence and although it sounds like an excuse i genuinely feel that this has held me back my entire life. I’ve had no sense of direction and lacked the courage to go for things and the result is I am where I am, a 40 year old working in a school which I hate (not the working with kids part as I love that) almost no qualifications, and a string of short term low paying jobs. I had always worked then took a number of years out of work as my youngest child wasn’t coping in school and needed me around. I then took the first job I applied for working in a school as I felt that’s all I was capable of but like I said it isn’t for me.

Anyway I suppose I should get to the point of my post. A while back I applied to do an access (health) course but I really am doubting if I can do it. Plus to be honest I don’t even know if I want to go to university but again that’s part of my self doubt and not believing in myself. I’d like to work back in the nhs possibly in occupational/physiotherapy which I used to work in years back but these days you need a level 3 qualification to get these jobs so my thought was I could do the access course to see how I cope with the work load and I can consider university whilst doing it but if uni isn’t for me at least I’ve got a qualification but again i can’t seem commit to it as I’m worried I’ll fail.

The thing is though down the line in the next couple years I’ll need to be either working full time (worried how I’ll cope with that due to anxiety) or be training towards a profession. My husband works full time and I work part time but as we are on a low income we get a considerable amount in top ups eg tax credits, DLA, carers allowance. I really hope no one will
have a go at me for claiming top ups as believe me I already feel bad about the fact we get help and wish we could both work full time and be completely independent but until my son leaves school in a few years time me working full time isn’t possible. So basically I guess what I’m asking is AIBU for considering doing this access course when I still can’t decide what to effectively do with my life? Which yes, I know at my age is ridiculous.

I think it's a great idea. Hopefully it will help you with your confidence and self-belief and regardless it will give you more choices. Why not?

It will give you more and quicker options for either work or further study when you do choose to exercise them in the future. Having options will be never be a bad thing - not least because there won’t be any more benefit top ups once your DC reaches 18 and earning will become your immediate priority.

Your post doesn't match up with the title.
You're not discounting university completely. You are just worried you won't be able to cope.
In this case it's fine to do the access course. Many people do things and then realise they can't cope. Maybe you can explore reasonable adjustments etc.
I have ADHD too and when I get stuck in a circle like this I just DO things. Sometimes they work out, sometimes they don't, but at least I've got past being trapped in a vicious cycle of self-doubt.

Who's paying for it?

Well that’s what I was thinking. I guess what had worried me is I won’t manage with the work load of the course. I went to an information day the other day and one of the course leaders made me feel a bit awkward. I have never disclosed my adhd previously eg at work but i put it on my college application form. The course leader was bud say late 50’s very grumpy and told me rather abruptly that I better be willing to put 40 hours study on a week and if I don’t get 3 distinctions I won’t even get accepted on to the occupational therapy degree. She made me feel inadequate before I’ve even enrolled.

I’ve not discounted university completely no but I worry I might not cope with a degree. I will have to apply for the advance student loan to over the course costs as it’s over £3000. I realise I’d have to repay the money if I do the access course then don’t go on to complete a university course. I just forgot to ask (after the course leader has flustered me) if I’d have to pay the course cost back in full or once I’m earning over a certain amount.

Of course you should do the course and afterwards consider next steps
One step at a time see how you get on and build confidence

Is the whole point of an access course not so you can get into university if you don't have the traditional qualifications to get in? Would the access course on its own improve your job prospects? If you decide not to go on to university you'll need to pay back the cost of the access course, as you've said. So unless the access course on its own has some benefits, I would think carefully.

There are an increasing number of apprentice schemes in allied healthcare. The access course might be a good step towards securing one in future.

I’m not entirely sure if doing the access course will help me get a different better paying job (if I decide not to go to uni) I mean it’s a level 3 course but it’s not specifically an NVQ which a lot of nhs ask for but I can’t do an NVQ without first working in an nhs/care type role.

Can you speak to someone more supportive..? Is there a disability officer?

I’ve no idea but I can find out. I mean I know I’m a full grown adult but the kids at in which that lady spoke to me was similar to how teachers used to speak to back when I was in school. I was made to feel like I was stupid and wasn’t capable.

There's nothing wrong with you feeling that way and rejection sensitivity is also an ADHD symptom. However you do need to find out, factually what you need to do, and the support available.

I do. I’ll phone the college on Monday and find out.

I work with access students. Many do go onto uni others don’t. I’ll get calls from employers asking me to verify it’s a level 3 or A level equivalent course.

You won’t have to start paying back until you earn over the threshold.

I imagine you are comparing yourself to a perfect ideal. These don’t exist. There will be support at college. And I’ve never told anyone they need to
do 40 hours additional study on access.

Just do it! See where it takes you. You might do well and enjoy it.

Thanks @Rummikub that’s very reassuring.

I did an access course at 26 with a 3 month old baby, I’m now in my second year of my nursing degree with a 4 year old and 18 month old, it’s hard fitting everything in but it is so able.

Could you do a Level 3 Health and Social care NVQ at the college instead.
They (used to, not sure if it’s changed) arrange placements locally such as hospitals/schools/care homes to get real
life experience of future job roles as part of the course.
you could then apply for physio/OT technician jobs and see where suits you best?

It’s very unlikely you will be able to without losing your carers allowance as you’re already working part time.

Would you be able to get onto an apprenticeship maybe? So then you could get paid while doing the qualifications and hopefully they would be building in time for you to study/do coursework if needed.