Asking my ex partner for maintenance

[aquarius75]

I didn't think I was being unreasonable, but I'm being made to feel like I am.

Ex and I have a one year old. Ex is in a lot of debt and is currently living at his mum's. He can't even afford to fix his car apparently. Due to this, he claims he cannot pay CM.

I have been understanding of the situation but am beginning to get really pissed off now. DD has started nursery this month and not once has he offered to contribute anything and hasn't even asked how much it is. I have to foot the bill for everything. Food. Nappies. Clothes. Nursery. I am at the end of my tether with this situation.

I mentioned going to CMS and was told I was "money grabbing" (his words), but I'm not even sure I would be entitled to that much due to the amount of debt he's in and I heard they take an admin fee, so don't know if this would even be worth it.

I just want him to contribute towards the child he helped create, but I'm being made to feel like an absolute bitch. I'm also now getting comments from his family too.

Can anyone who also has a feckless ex like mine please advise!

I would go through CMS. Even if you dont get much at least it is documented that there is a claim there. Don't listen to him and his families shit - his child so he should be making an effort to pay.

You're definitely not being unreasonable. He should be contributing. Does he have a job?

Go to CMS. Buy a cheap PAYG mobile, give him the number, block him and his family on your regular phone and any social media. We all have bills to pay but kids need food and clothes.

I don't think cms takes debt into consideration, just income.

His debts aren’t your problem. He doesn’t even have housing costs! You’ve got nothing to lose by opening a claim and everything to gain. He sounds like a twat so it’s not he’ll ever offer. Open a claim tomorrow.

You need to stop being so understanding and start getting angry.
He has a responsibility to support his child financially. What lowlifes he and his family are to try and make you feel bad for asking him to pay his way.
Apply to CMS. Don't be surprised if you don't get much but at least your child will know you tried to get financial support from the father.

Do it, men unfortunately like to make you feel like shit even when your the only one paying for the upkeep of your children.
My ex demanded i wrote down what I spent the child maintenance on every week and demanded I repay 1 week back when our child was away with a family member for 5days. I did neither, I stated that if he's got an issue with it talk direct to child maintenance.
Ignore him and his family (hard sometimes I know) and apply for child maintenance ASAP.

Go through CMS.

It’s not money grabbing, it’s money for your child. Do it for her.

He isn’t paying anything now so you have nothing to lose.

Cm only take debts into consideration if he is on benefits.

Agree, debts don't come into it. Put in a claim ASAP.

Well does he expect your child to live on fresh air? His debt is not his child’s responsibility. Put a claim in so if nothing else it’s documented that he has paid nothing to raise his child

Only an arsehole would call it money grabbing, he should be paying for his child. Get a claim started immediately x

The knobhead needs to contribute emotionally and financially to the child he brought into the world.

They don't take debts into account. If he is struggling then he needs to go to a debt counselling charity and they will help him negotiate reduced payments so that he can afford to pay essential bills like child maintenance and rent.

Get the claim in asap.

There's a one off fee when you apply but it's not much and worth it to have it all documented and above board

Yes this is correct. If he won't pay you they will collect money directly from his employer. His DC should not suffer because he's a crap Dad.