Could this be dementia? MIL

[Plappad]

I've noticed a few odd things with MIL. She's only 69. High blood pressure, osteoarthritis but otherwise fair health.

These things are really small, AIBU?

-Asked me what I was doing, I told her, she asked again 1 minute later, then again
-told me she'd put some mail in the post but I found it in her kitchen, not posted
-she went to see the Barbie film and she told me she didn't understand it, that it was for little children
-started talking about an old neighbour she had fallen out with years ago, really bitterly, like it was happening now, with surprising venom

Not sure whether to worry DH by discussing it with him?

A lot of ladies that kind of age get awful UTI's which can make them slightly confused and forgetful.
Have you thought of that first? Maybe worth asking her to do a sample for the GP to test.

The mail thing sounds like it could be an everyday mistake, and as regards Barbie, it maybe depends on whether you'd normally expect her to understand it. The other two things sound a bit more worrying, but could she be lonely or anxious, something like that?

This does sound like the kind of thing my dad was doing and he had dementia. Although pp is right about UTIs - they can make older people terribly confused.

There are lots of things that can cause memory issues that aren't dementia (things like vitamin deficiency, stress, infections etc.) or some people can develop mild cognitive impairment which is a bit like very early dementia but doesn't always then progress like dementia does (for 2/3 people with MCI it just stays much the same). People can just have some age related changes to memory too.

The best thing to do is maybe mention to her she hasn't seemed quite herself and suggest she sees the GP for some bloods / urine tests as a bit of an MOT.

The Barbie film - I've not seen it but from the bit of press I've seen, it's not for little kids, so dofficult to say, is it hard to understand? I'm assuming there's a feminist theme which possibly would go over her head.

Ah she does get frequent UTIs!

Definitely worth checking. Can you book her GP for her?

That's very helpful, thank you.

Definitely tell your husband though.

Another one saying yes to an MOT at the GPs and general health check to rule out UTIs or deficiencies. Ask them to check her vit B12 too. Deficiency of that also effects memory and makes you feel generally crabby

It's always good to get a memory test early on as it will be a baseline for the future. But whether she'll cooperate is another thing.

"Asked me what I was doing, I told her, she asked again 1 minute later, then again". Hard to say whether this is just the goldfish brain that some of us get, I get it myself sometimes, but my Mum (who has diagnosis of dementia) does this continually, maybe 20-40 times in an hour with very little realisation that she has just asked it, we have got used to it and cope. Lack of empathy is another sign of dementia. I would talk to your OH, best you are you are all watching out for it, and as OPs have said "a bit of an MOT @ the docs" would not go amiss. Unfortunately with dementia, you cannot wind back the clock, but you can make adjustments to help. Wishing you the best x

Agree with pp, get a UTI test first. My mother had one once that was like instant dementia, terrifying.

If it's not that ... well, yeah, she does sound like my mother now she has vascular dementia. One minute memory and comprehension isn't great (though that also ties in with deafness).

First thing to rule out is a UTI.