to get upset when i thought ex-dp had forgotten Mothers Day

[queenrollo]

i have ds over the weekend.....and when he was dropped off on Friday i thought maybe there would be a card/present in with his stuff....but there wasn't.

so i've been in floods of tears this morning, convinced ex had forgotten to sort something out (ds is only 2, so not really capable of taking himself to the shops to do it!)......and then about 20 mins ago ex's mum turned up with a home made card and some flowers for me. I was in a state and told her i thought he'd forgotten, so it'll get back to him.

and i'm pissed off about the flowers too. we ran a flower business for ten years. it requires no effort on ex's half.....he just asks his mum to make some flowers up for me. (all i got from ds at xmas was a basket of flowers, our first christmas since the split too)

all i really wanted today was a card to open when i got up and a cuddle from ds.

today feels really tainted now

queenrollo

Dont be sad.......today is a day to celebrate being a mum, maybe he didnt want to drop the card off on friday because you wouldnt have it to open this morning as you would have already had it on friday, which you have now . 20 minutes ago isnt bad, Ive just had to go and drop DP off to pick his car up from his mates, as my mothers day cards were in the glove compartment ....luckily my DC's are old enough to have made me their own, which were far nicer

Have a lovely day XXXX

Doesn't do to rely on men for MD I think. Dh has turned up trumps with the best the local garage has to offer but what can you do?!!

You do realise that there are many single mothers on here that are not getting anything? And many who's ex's would not give a toss. It is not ideal but both your ex and his mum bothered to make a bit of an effort, in the grand scheme of things you are doing pretty well. relax and enjoy the day with your ds.

Agree with Carmenere. Have never really had anything from dcs on these days (inc Xmas/birthdays) - exh never even thought of it. Hope you feel better soon and enjoy your day.

you got a home made card and flowers from your ex and you're complaining? About what exactly?

Seems to me that you built it up in your head so when it came to it ( sorry) but nothing was going to please you/make you happy.

It's lovely that she/he was thoughtful enough to make a card with him- I'd be chuffed with that aside from a present- something you can keep for years to come

Many people on here sadly will not have anyone as thoughtful in their lives

i do realise that there are many mums out there today who aren't getting cards or presents from their little ones (when my friend was a single mum with a useless ex i used to take her daughter out shopping for Mothers Day/birthday to make sure she got something)

i think i'm finding today hard because it's the first since i split from my ex, and i'm really struggling with the co-parenting role, after being a full time mother.

I think it's rather sweet that his mother came over with a handmade card (the pinnacle of gifts on Mothering Sunday, really!) and flowers too. Don't think about what didn't happen but about what did - you have a lovely long Sunday with your ds to celebrate the mother/son relationship, a card made by him and some flowers to brighten your kitchen!

Also I don't know how old your ds is but it wouldnt be nice for him to feel you were upset that he / dad hadn't "produced" enough.

Have a lovely day.

Perfectly natural for today to be a 'trigger' day if your split was recent. take care of yourself and try to enjoy it

Yes I think you are being a bit BU, you did get something after all. I've told dh not to do anything for me, partly because I suspected he might forget anyway and dss make cards and school and nursery and the look on their faces when they give them is worth more than anything else.

As your ds is still too young to understand I think you are being U to expect his father or grandmother to do anything. When ds gets older and gives you his own thing you will really appreciate that alot.

I know it's hard. But do try to focus on having a day of love with ds. When he's older he'll do things for you himself.

Cheer up queenrollo.

my ds is two.....not really very vocal, if he'd got up this morning and hugged me and said Happy Mummy's Day, then that's all i could wish for. But he can't, so having at least a card to open first thing this morning would have meant a lot to me when i'm having a shitty time because of circumstances surrounding the split (being made to feel like a freak because i moved out and i don't have ds during the week like most single parents)

obviously i am being unreasonable........i'll bugger off now and stop feeling sorry for myself

this is the first year my ex has done nothing for me for MD.

year 1 he joined us for lunch and bought flowers, year 2 he sent a card and a gift.

last night he sent a text saying let dd forget she's got a father and send the divorce papers.

a handmade card and a bunch of flowers and regular contact for my dd would make my day.

queenrollo: Do things that you want to with DS so that you can remember the day with laughter and happiness. What's his fave things to do, bake some cakes, icing on biscuits, playdough, swimming, kite in park , swings, being chased by you around the garden, lots of bubbles in bath! whatever will result in smiles.

Enjoy being a mum