To reach out on here because I can't in real life?

[reallyreallynotok]

I'm the furthest from OK I've been a really long time. I am so overwhelmed with life as a mum and feel I'm continually letting my kids down. My mood is so low and the tears won't stop. My heart is constantly racing with anxiety. I can't describe how isolated and alone I feel. I have some family but I can't pick up the phone to anyone in real life because it just feels too much to do that. I don't know why I'm posting. I just don't want to be alone with this fucking feeling anymore 😞

I am so sorry…how old are your children? Have they been able to give you a hug?

They are 16 and 2. The eldest has just left to go to their dad's for the weekend so I'm alone with the little one.

If you are anxious that you are letting your kids down then you care enough that you probably aren't. Bad mums don't notice and don't care and that doesn't sound like you. Everyone finds this tough but it sounds like you need someone to talk to. Please try and find someone IRL to speak to and speak to your gp about getting something to at least control the anxiety. You are asking for help so that's the first step achieved. Well done. You do have more control than you give yourself credit for.

You can feel better but you need help. You’ve made the first step posting here. Well done. You would benefit from seeing your GP but you could also speak to The Samaritans: https://www.samaritans.org/
No one will judge you. Just click on the link. Good luck. X

Thank you @Sparklybanana that's a lovely post, i appreciate it.

Big hugs OP, I really empathise as this was me at the start of the year when I had a nervous breakdown. I know how you feel! Echoing what a PP said you are definitely not a let down as worrying if you’re a good Mum means you already are one! Is there anything that has troubled you or a reason you might be feeling this way? Any health conditions that could be contributing? I definitely think you should speak to your GP, I was reluctant to but it helped me no end. I am on a low dose anti depressant and had some CBT. All helped but sometimes it’s the little things I did which helped me, some self care, taking a little time out where possible for some head space, hubby taking over a few jobs so I didn’t feel it was getting on top of me. If you do have some friends/family etc you feel you could talk to I honestly would. I know it’s a difficult step to take to admit you’re struggling but if their a good friend/family member they will listen and support you. You may feel lighter for that chat with someone and find they experience the same! It will get better I promise ❤️

@reallyreallynotok

(((HUGS)))

what a horrible way to feel, I'm sorry you're feeling like that xx

what's your relationship like with your teenager?

is your toddler one to snuggle or prefers to be off doing their own thing?

are you going out working tomorrow or home with the toddler?

can you text with a family member or a friend if actually talking feels like too much? I bet there's at least one of them that would love to have the toddler for a day over the weekend, or come & stay with you.

as others have said, try to book a GP appointment & get checked out. being low in certain things can make you feel very low.

What's your work situation?
how are the finances?

why do you feel you're letting your kids down? I very much doubt you are, but why do you think you are??

take the youngest (in a rain suit if necessary), for a walk/to the park, they'll love the novelty of it (assuming you don't usually go at this time of night) & the fresh air will do you good.

if by some miracle they're already bathed & ready for bed, make yourself a cup of tea & go and stand in the doorway breathing in the fresh air.

have cuddles while reading stories, doing bed time routine, then find some easy watching on TV. Give your head a break!

but loads of us here if you want to talk xx

Hi OP - I’m not a mum but to echo previous posters I can say with absolute certainty that if you’re worrying about your children then you’re doing a top job as their mum.

I am so sorry you’re feeling so low though. On this site there is a huge wealth of experience and expertise about just about every problem under the sun. Is there anything specific that worries you that you’d like us to see if we can help with?

I do just want to say that I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. Big hugs to you and I hope we can help. If you want to talk, we’re here for you.

I’m sorry you feel so down. I’m sure you are not letting them down. It’s really hard a lot of the time and we all have times when we struggle. I hope you can the little one in bed tonight and take sometime to yourself. I usually have a cup of tea, some chocolate and watch some comfort TV, something I’ve watched hundreds of times but love. Feel free to rant away on here, most of us have been where you are at some point, you are not alone x

I just want to thank everyone who has taken the time to post support. I can't tell you much it means to me. I promise I've read and absorbed every post and I will get back to you with the answers to questions you've asked. Little one is asleep so I'm eating my tea and having 5 minutes to sit and breathe which is helping a little. Thank you again. You are all so lovely. 💕