People who find others full of themselves / arrogant

[appleslover]

I'm very intrigued if you often find people arrogant / full of themselves and what causes you to think that of them ?

I sometimes find people a bit boastful/ full of themselves / occasionally arrogant, but I don't feel that way about people often.

A few people I know seem to find people arrogant and boastful a lot and I sometimes wonder why that is.

Chuh, I am arrogant, and my arrogance is better than anyone else's arrogance too :p

Nah, seriously, it has come out of proper personality assessments. And there's the case that sometimes people call it arrogance when it's a confident person they don't like, or especially when it's a woman.

I'd actually genuinely say that I'm more arrogant than most of what people describe in this thread, which is insecure and loud behaviour. I think arrogance is more often indifferent than loud.

(I'm not a pure arsehole, I promise! But arrogance is the topic, and I own my flaws.)

I find it very unpleasant when people dominate conversations, speak mostly of themselves and don't ask questions or can't simply sit and listen to others without interrupting for any length of time. That's what I'd call arrogant and I see it quite a lot.

Anyone who can't go 15 seconds in a conversation without talking/ offering their opinion is talking too much - I find that lack of interest in others a really unpleasant trait.

I think it can be both tbh. People who 'tell it like it is' genuinely believe that's how things are - i.e. that they're right. This is often an arrogant viewpoint IMO except for the rare occasion that the individual is genuinely elite in their field and is 100% correct in their assertions.

It's basically saying "let me tell you how things are because I'm right/know best."

There's a fine line between being confident in your abilities/self, and the arrogance of thinking that makes you better than everyone else. DH has a friend who's really arrogant about his "intelligence" and uses it to try and beat people into submission. I can't stand him, not least because I'm more intelligent than he is (not that I've pointed it out, trying not to be arrogant too and he's not actually very smart), but he's too arrogant to listen to others and he could never possibly be wrong!

How do you know you're more intelligent ? Just curious as to why you think that.

I really don't like arrogance. I find it really unattractive in a man or woman.

It's often paired with "entitled". It's different from confidence although I'm sure many who are arrogant/entitled would just say its confidence/others are jealous etc etc.

I find it's the people who can't be taught because they already know it all...then when they get something wrong they find excuses as it can't possibly be their fault. That or the ones who "have no filter" or just have to "tell it like it is".

@appleslover probably willingness to admit I'm wrong and learn from it, in comparison to his adamance that he is correct even in the face of proof. IMO an intelligent person constantly learns and is open-minded. I'm not claiming to be a genius or anything, and intelligence is extremely hard to quantify, but he almost shoves down your throat how intelligent he is without having anything to back it up. (Now I sound arrogant, I'm really not, honest)

This is what I was trying to say, you've put it so much better then I did

I think people who regularly consider others to be arrogant often have self esteem issues.

I was taken down some pegs by a guy when I first started university. He told me I thought I was better than anyone when the thought had never crossed my mind. I remember being deeply upset by it at the time. In reflection, I wasn’t arrogant at all, just confident and really engaged with what we were learning. I graduated top of my university year. On reflection I think he was an insecure twat who was threatened by a woman who was academic and confident in her own abilities. I wish I’d stood up to him at the time instead of letting him upset me so much.

I’m now wary of individuals who accuse others of arrogance.

Most people aren't boastful or full of themselves. Having confidence isn't necessarily arrogance although some people who think they are just confident are actually just arrogant.

I do find it a bit weird that in real life it's a bad thing to be boastful but in social media it's completely acceptable 😆

I am quite a sensitive person and have struggled with self esteem and depression much of my life (I have bipolar disorder) and I often find people arrogant. Especially the people who are in charge of at the top of things! I think arrogance is on the rise as psychopathic traits are increasingly rewarded in everyday life. And I think maybe I am more sensitive to it or notice it more than some other people who mistake the arrogance for confidence.

It's often paired with "entitled". It's different from confidence although I'm sure many who are arrogant/entitled would just say its confidence/others are jealous etc etc.

I do know a lot of well off people &
many are entitled but completely unaware.

Yes, very confident people get my back up. They don’t even have to be particularly arrogant. I don’t know why this is. Quite possibly because I am also inwardly a bit arrogant / egotistical, but with less confidence? So, confident people annoy me because their exterior looks better than me, when all the while secretly I think I’m better than them. Maybe? I dunno 😂

Yep I've got a relative who is so very arrogant/entitled and also unaware as its juts what they expect.

I suspect quite a few are unaware this is how they come across as they are centreing their own opinion of themselves anyway.

What's the difference between confidence and arrogance ? I guess without looking up the definition, I would say confidence is having faith in your own abilities / yourself in general, whereas arrogance is when you have so much faith in yourself you also think you're better than everyone else ?

That's a good explanation and I would agree. It sounds like he can talk the talk but with not much substance perhaps.

I think people often mistake knowledge with intelligence.

I think the main difference between an arrogant person and a confident person is that a confident person truly believes in themselves. The arrogant people I know seem insecure under the surface. It's as if they're trying to convince themselves and everyone else that they are what they say. You can almost feel they don't truly believe it. It's the false behaviour of an arrogant person I cannot bear.

I'm quite happy to be around confident people. They have little to prove and they're generally great communicators in my experience.

What's the difference between confidence and arrogance ?

I would say a confident person is content with themselves & their abilities so doesn't need to shout about how great they are. An arrogant person has to tell everyone how great they are.

And a confident person can be arrogant but the self aware ones hide the arrogance 😆

I don’t think I have known many truly arrogant people. I do have a colleague who is self-important, boastful and a massive show-off, cannot cope with any feedback that is not breathless praise, and delegates work to others that he thinks is beneath him (often work he does not have the technical or people skills to do).

Obviously, I can’t stand him. However on another level I feel sorry for him. He is not as clever or skilful as he thinks he is, and has alienated everyone in the team with the possible exception of one or two higher-ups who take his bs at face value. He is not interested in learning, and because has pretensions to seniority while being relatively junior, comes across as vain and insecure.

I don’t think he is truly arrogant, though. He’s far too thin-skinned. I on the other hand can come across as a people pleaser, I am friendly, helpful, hands on and don’t consider any tasks beneath me - but I certainly know that I am more intelligent and generally a better person than he is. I feel contempt for him, too. Possibly that makes ME the arrogant one.

Hmm I don't think the few arrogant people I know are insecure. More overly confident. Their opinion matters more than anyone else's...

I don't think arrogant people are always insecure. The confidence v arrogance distinction to me seems primarily about how someone views themself in relation to others. You can be confident while also having a high opinion of other people, while to be arrogant is to act as if you're superior in some way.

I suppose, by chance, the arrogant people in my life are the ones I can't avoid but know well. Anyone that didn't know these people well might take them at face value and believe that they believe all the self-promotion and self-congratulation that comes out of their mouths. I know that they've all experienced some sort of childhood trauma though (usually an overbearing/abusive/highly critical parent). It's sad when you think about it, because no amount of praise or approval will help these people. It's a deep lack of self-belief.

Obviously all subjective! I just can't see why anyone that truly thinks they are intelligent, attractive, creative etc. would need to go around saying it. They prove it through action and if someone disagrees then they aren't phased. I've yet to meet an arrogant person that takes criticism well.