To quit this placement?

[marthadumptru]

Will try keep this short. I am a social work student doing final post grad placement.

7 years ago I left a job at a local nursing home after working there for 5 years in admin. I left on not good terms at all, my boss and supervisor there bullied me to the point I needed medication and honestly, I believe they were the cause of all my mental health issues since then.

I'm not proud to say but I quit that job one night after getting drunk, I sent an email out the bullies quitting but also giving them a piece of my mind. This was not a proud moment and there was personal insults in the email. I emailed the next morning, admitting I had been drinking, apologising for what I said but of course still confirming my resignation. They replied confirming my resignation and that was that.

I moved on, went in to higher education and had no contact with the place since.

However, it's clear in this new placement that I am going to have to make visits there/be in contact with the manager and supervisor etc who are still the same since I've left.

I am now genuinely thinking about quitting this placement. I really don't think I can face them after my parting email all those years ago. Put on top of that the bullying I endured. I honestly worry that they will cause bother for me as a social work student.

I have briefly mentioned to my link worker that we ended on bad terms but of course didn't go into details. It was a stage in my life I had hoped was firmly behind me.

If I was to just bite the bullet and visit the nursing home I can't even imagine. Would I go in acting normally and introduce myself as if we are complete strangers? I would know and they would know this isn't the case but genuinely don't know what to do?

Are they definitely still there?

can you face just turning up, doing your best, being professional and giving them absolutely nothing to go on. I’m assuming the placement is not entirely at this nursing home but you may have contact with them? If it is only
part of the placement could they find you alternative people etc to work with (like if you knew a client in your personal life you would not be able to work with them and it would have to be reallocated)

If it is entirely at this place could you speak to your university placement people and be honest about it and say you really would rather not do this placement?

anyway wish you all the best whatever you do x

Wait a minute - you’re not that person anymore - you’ve moved on and bettered yourself despite them.

And what is your reason for visiting this nursing home anyway? If you’re a social work student then are you visiting in a position of authority over them? Sorry I’m not familiar with the subject.

Don’t you dare back out of this excellent placement and chance to move forward with your career because of some ridiculous twats who might not even be there still, or whose own circumstances and fortunes light have changed for the worse anyway.

They are definitely still there but no, my placement isn't at the nursing home. It literally will just be to visit a service user who resides in the home so about once a week and then will have to have review meetings with the manager once every 3 months.

Do I just go in and introduce myself as if we are total strangers? I'm worried they create bother for me.

I would just go in and say something like 'hello, how are you doing. It's been a while, how are things?' Definitely don't act like you don't know them, but also you don't need to acknowledge what happened. Treat them like acquaintances & be professional.

If you quit your placement, they've won twice. Don't let them do that.

God, don't quit! Don't do it. The uni don't have to find you another one, and they will look dimly on you for leaving a placement due to interpersonal past issues, you're training to be a professional, one that will be dealing routinely, day in day out, with people you don't like, who don't like you, who might be confrontational.

I would really seize upon this as an opportunity to practice dealing with difficult situations, how you manage that emotionally, how you carry yourself professionally despite your nerves inside, I bet you'll get some really good reflective material out of it at the end of placement too.

You were bullied, you are not the aggressor here, you are not the one who needs to be ashamed. Remember that. The drunk e-mail, not great, but it was many years ago, and because of the stress you were under.

If you think they have the ability to cause issues for you in your training the one thing I might suggest is having a word with your practice educator and letting the know that you previously worked there, were bullied, and you want that on record, dated. So if any allegations come up in the future there is evidence of what happened. Don't worry about them finding out you sent the drunk e-mail, they won't care about something an abuse victim did years ago under immense stress. Most people who go into social work have personal things in their backgrounds!

I would walk in with your head held high, knowing you are now a social worker (almost). Personally I would probably take control of it by saying 'hi, I think we know each other, I'm name. I'm here in a social work capacity to see client' Be confident, be assertive, I know that's very hard when emotions run high and you're facing someone who has caused you a lot of distress, but you can do it. Maybe there's a way you can travel there with someone for support who waits in the car afterwards? You've got this. Imagine their faces when they see someone who they tried to break showing up having gone into professional training and making something of yourself. They didn't win, you did.

Also, hold onto why you're going in there. It's not about your ex boss and supervisor. It's not even about you (in the nicest way possible). It's about the support you can give your client, who is there waiting for help, who has been assigned someone like you who I'm sure cares. They live in that home. Don't let the immoral actions of your ex boss and supervisor mean that this client doesn't get the care they are entitled to and deserve.

Speak to your uni op. I would move your placement if you were one of my students. Although, as pp have said, you should be utterly professional about it - be open with your tutors and assessors and see if you can excel and rise above it!

Ah if it’s just one thing a week I’d do as others say and really try and just be professional and deal with the client. If any bother comes from
it your practice educator/ mentor/ whatever they’re called will see frpm
your other work that your just fine. Then count down the time and hopefully it’ll all go swimmingly.
good luck

Thank you all, you've really reassured me. I think the majority of you are correct. I need to just go into this as a professional and see it as a challenge to overcome my anxiety surrounding this.

This is the right attitude. You will have many challenges in your social work career and facing this is a good place to start. Great opportunity for some reflective learning afterwards.

You’ll be going back there as a professional, (almost) a social worker, you have moved onwards and upwards since you last met. They might not remember you or your unfortunate drunken email, or they might vaguely recognise you but not remember the exact circumstances, they might think they recognise you as a social worker rather than a previous employee!

But don’t give up, not at this stage, not so close to qualification. Good luck!