I spent from the age of 19 till I was 34 being a full time carer for my gran-I was worn down and anxious and had no life.
My mum died when I was 14 and her sister (my aunt ) basically didn't help at all with the care of my gran (her mum)
She would visit from Spain once a year then that stopped.
My gran had dementia and it was hell.
I begged my aunt for help or at least to sort a care home out but she didn't
Anyway she used to ring me twice a week and send me £100 every few months (I call it guilt money )
I had no job -no partner-nothing
My gran died -my aunt stopped talking to me.
A email maybe every 5 months but I would reply and nothing back.
Anyway my grans sister is dying.
Her son rang my dad and said can I go over his and ring my aunt with him and let her know (she didn't care when her mum was dying )
He is hard of hearing so I said to my dad -you go why do I need to do it?
Her son never gives me the time of day either.
I sent my aunt a email asking for her number and explained my grans sister was unwell
She replied with the number and said "it's okay he doesn't have to ring,if he doesn't want too ,you just email when she passes "
Then she didn't reply
So i said I'm sorry but if you want to ring her with him that's fine but I don't she won't have anything to do with it.
Aibu ?
My Dad said I was selfish and he was going to tell my grans sisters son -I couldn't be bothered and that I wouldn't be going to the funeral either .
I would be going to the funeral but my dad said if I can't be bothered to ring my aunt -then not to bother.