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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Why are people like this?

24 replies

cakefortea22 · 31/08/2023 11:16

At the beginning of the year I sold my house to a young mum. She needed a quick sale as she'd split from her husband and needed somewhere soon for her and her dc. She offered near enough the asking price minus a few thousand and I happily accepted.

We moved to another house in the same area/community and I've heard on the grapevine that this lady has categorically slagged off me and the house saying it was left in a state as well as complaining about things that were blatantly obvious at the viewing such as the size of the garden and the kitchen being very old fashioned.

I cleaned the house from top to bottom before I left. It wasn't perfect, there were walls that needed repainting when pictures came down etc. but it was clean. I also paid for some repairs that happened after completion as I couldn't get a tradesman in before we left to do it and I didn't want to leave her with the bill. I left a card and flowers too like a total mug.

I occasionally see this woman at the shops or the park and she completely blanks me. It's as if she regrets buying the house and is holding me personally responsible. I'm sick of hearing from people (including my old neighbour who I keep in touch with) that she's spreading lies about the house being left in a state (unclean). Complaining about the kitchen and garden just makes her look daft because she saw these things at the viewing and bought it anyway but the other things are untrue and reflect badly on me as a person.

I won't go out of my way to say anything but aibu to find this fucking annoying and very rude?

OP posts:

mushroommummy · 31/08/2023 11:19

I’ve found over the years that people just often talk bad about others because often they are unhappy with their own lives. Honestly just let it go, people that know you won’t believe it & those that do don’t matter. I can however see your viewpoint as you went out of your way to help her!

Maddy70 · 31/08/2023 11:21

Why do you care?

You're giving her way too much head space. Everyone knows when you buy a house you notice its faults much later

Bebosally · 31/08/2023 11:22

A similar thing happened to me. If I were you, I would stay silent on the whole thing. If you tell people that she's lying and that you did actually clean your house, they probably either won't be interested, or won't believe you. After all, who in their right mind makes up imaginary dirt in a house? Well, people with self-esteem issues for one! Ignore it.

Original poster

cakefortea22 · 31/08/2023 11:24

Maddy70 · 31/08/2023 11:21

Why do you care?

You're giving her way too much head space. Everyone knows when you buy a house you notice its faults much later

I think it's because we live in a small community and a lot of the people she's been bitching to are school mums that I know or friends of friends and I just find it really unfair.

Yes when you view a house it looks a lot different with things in it than it does empty. The house wasn't perfect and did need work doing but she viewed it and bought it anyway, and now is acting like I somehow cheated her or did something wrong?

I shouldn't give it headspace but it's really annoying.

OP posts:

KinooOrKinog · 31/08/2023 11:39

It's a condition of the sale to leave the property clean to a professional standard (at least in Scotland anyway), so if she was that unhappy she had seven days to complain to her solicitor, along with any other perceived issues. Sounds like buyers remorse to me. I get why you're annoyed though. I would be fuming.

MorningOclock · 31/08/2023 11:41

Do you say hello when you bump into this woman?? Maybe she thinks you’re mutually pretending not to see eachother

ButterCrackers · 31/08/2023 11:43

Is it because it’s a mess now and she’s trying to blame you some how? Ignore her.

FloweryName · 31/08/2023 11:46

She sounds very immature and I’d imagine that most of the people she’s talking to can see that while politely humouring her.

Original poster

cakefortea22 · 31/08/2023 11:46

ButterCrackers · 31/08/2023 11:43

Is it because it’s a mess now and she’s trying to blame you some how? Ignore her.

I think she just wanted to walk into a perfectly furnished, modern, lovely house and while some parts of the house had been sorted (brand new bathroom suite for example) there was still a lot left to do. But why buy it then?

OP posts:

Blackbyrd · 31/08/2023 11:47

YANBU, but a lot of people are just thick. You can't reason with them because they're incapable of understanding nuance, the other person's point of view etc. She's just showing herself up, not you. If you come across her, nose in the air and ignore. She can only repeat the same boring rubbish so many times to other people and doubt they give the tiniest shit anyway

Original poster

cakefortea22 · 31/08/2023 11:47

MorningOclock · 31/08/2023 11:41

Do you say hello when you bump into this woman?? Maybe she thinks you’re mutually pretending not to see eachother

I don't now because of everything I've heard but I did the first few times and she was incredibly frosty.

OP posts:

MorningOclock · 31/08/2023 11:53

cakefortea22 · 31/08/2023 11:47

I don't now because of everything I've heard but I did the first few times and she was incredibly frosty.

Show quote history

Next time you bump into her make a point of saying a big friendly hello, ask her how she’s getting on in the house. Seems silly to let it wind you up so much, she could have said something like ‘I could do with a new kitchen’ which has been exaggerated to you.

millionmAh · 31/08/2023 12:06

It's because she is ignorant and entitled. She is probably angry at you for not completely refurbishing the house to her taste at your own expense. She is angry that her new house isn't the same as the ones on Instagram she fantasies about. The gap between wish and reality is, in her mind, your fault.

ilovemydogmore · 31/08/2023 12:09

The problem is your gossipy neighbour!!

You'll never know what she actually said or how she said it.

Who cares that she had a moan about the house, don't we all when we move in somewhere and the excitement wears off?

And as for blanking you - I do that by mistake with my own family sometimes. I am just in my own world while out and about doing errands or with my kids. Not a slight on anyone. Would she even recognise you?

always2323 · 31/08/2023 12:11

The house wouldn't have sold had it not been in an acceptable condition.
You did a good thing for her, you know that. Don't even give it another thought. No matter that she says, she can say what she wants, you know different. And what a thoughtful person you are, accepting a lower offer to help her out, paying for maintenance work to be done and leaving her flowers. That's lovely and kind.

gamerchick · 31/08/2023 12:15

People usually always say they've moved into a shithole. It's weird.

She's obviously got a few issues. The fact people are telling you says a lot about how much they think of you over her. She probably hasn't made herself popular.

Original poster

cakefortea22 · 31/08/2023 12:19

ilovemydogmore · 31/08/2023 12:09

The problem is your gossipy neighbour!!

You'll never know what she actually said or how she said it.

Who cares that she had a moan about the house, don't we all when we move in somewhere and the excitement wears off?

It isn't just the neighbour. I've heard it from multiple people which makes it even worse. She already has friends in the area (another motivation for wanting the house she said) so she's integrated herself well into the community and is slagging me off to anyone who'll listen by the sounds of it.

OP posts:

CrackedChina · 31/08/2023 12:40

The people repeating her remarks back to you aren't doing you any favours. They are just stirring things up. Maybe she's just making conversation listing all the things she wants to change in her new house? I bore people to death with my plans for renovating when I buy somewhere. It's not a reflection on the previous owners.

Fannyfiggs · 31/08/2023 12:55

Nah, I'd be raging. I'd go round and ask her to stop spreading malicious lies or I'll shove dogshit through her letter box every day for the next 10 years!

fruitypancake · 31/08/2023 13:12

We had exactly the same ! I also cleaned and left card and bubbly. She slagged me off on neighbours WhatsApp group . We had lived there 10 years and these ppl were our friends . She made herself very unpopular very quickly

Devilsmommy · 31/08/2023 13:16

Fannyfiggs · 31/08/2023 12:55

Nah, I'd be raging. I'd go round and ask her to stop spreading malicious lies or I'll shove dogshit through her letter box every day for the next 10 years!

🤣🤣🤣🤣

the80sweregreat · 31/08/2023 13:19

I'm sorry op. , but some people are just assholes and you sound lovely
It must hurt hearing all this negativity when you know it's just lies. Could she be done for slander ? ..
Did you take any photos of your old house empty ? It's a long shot , but if you did you could put them up to prove you left the house spotless ?
She sounds completely unreasonable

xyz111 · 31/08/2023 13:22

Who cares. It was at the beginning of the year! If she's spouting the same thing for 8 months, surely everyone's bored of her anyway.

bevm72yellow · 31/08/2023 13:25

She sounds like she is "fault finding" at any cost then telling other people the "drama" to make herself feel good. Next time somebody mentions it to you point out that there is " no back door and part of the roof is missing" in a light hearted manner. Then do not give the conversation an audience.

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