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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

The other side of "naughty British kids"

101 replies

AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 31/08/2023 07:40

I'm posting on AIBU as this is where most of the threads about how awful British kids/parents/parenting are , and this is a "reply" to all of them.

Just came back from holiday in a resort that is not really aimed at Brits. As a result, there were only one or two British families there beside us. The majority were German with some French, Russians , Turkish and Romanians.

Well, guess what? Plenty of "naughty" kids despite their lack of British passports.

Plenty of screaming and screeching.
Inconsiderate splashing/jumping in the pool getting people on sun loungers and their belongings wet.
Running all over the place , include in restaurants. Several falls and accidents.
Trying and sometimes succeeding to throw the entertainers in the pool. Even an adult did that.
Recklessly picking up cat/kittens, chasing them, annoying them, carrying them about etc.
Dozens of dropped plates.
Ignoring safety signs and lifeguards, diving, jumping and hanging off the bridge, railings etc.
Swimming in the pools after hours, or when one was shut for emergency cleaning or in the 18+ ones.

Probably more that didn't register as we were busy having fun ourselves. None of this actually bothered me(bar the cats situation) and we really enjoyed our holiday.

However, I really wanted to make a point that no, it's not just British kids and that no, other nationalities don't have better (behaved) children as a rule.

OP posts:
Whereshallwegonext · 31/08/2023 11:44

So glad you started this thread. There are so many about how awful British kids and their parents are.

Well do you know what, yes, some are badly behaved. Sometimes it's just a complete breakdown of behaviour and lack of parenting, sometimes it will be a one off.

But like you, we went away recently to somewhere where the majority of families were German, Swedish and Spanish. There was PLENTY of annoying behaviour from children of other nationalities.

Maireas · 31/08/2023 11:48

I think it's a combination of factors, isn't it? Children on holiday will always be a bit more lively and loud than when they're at home. Some parents are more relaxed about behaviour when they're on holiday, plus many holiday places are crowded. Most people are just trying to be good parents, so I'd tend to cut them a bit of slack. I think a group of children a la Madeleine is probably unusual!

Lovepeaceunderstanding · 31/08/2023 12:11

I don’t believe anyone has suggested that ALL British children are feral.
Some people have noticed an increase in poorly behaved children and discussed the potential reasons for this. I don’t remember anyone saying that poor behaviour was limited to British children in fact in my opinion other nationalities have had a long reputation for exuberant offspring.
I do think this post is odd, what is the point being made? Is it that British children are no worse than any other country? I’m not a fan of bringing everyone down to the lowest common denominator.

Original poster
AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 31/08/2023 12:18

Lovepeaceunderstanding · 31/08/2023 12:11

I don’t believe anyone has suggested that ALL British children are feral.
Some people have noticed an increase in poorly behaved children and discussed the potential reasons for this. I don’t remember anyone saying that poor behaviour was limited to British children in fact in my opinion other nationalities have had a long reputation for exuberant offspring.
I do think this post is odd, what is the point being made? Is it that British children are no worse than any other country? I’m not a fan of bringing everyone down to the lowest common denominator.

You must've missed the threads/posts then. Plenty of generalisations, plenty of "all kids are/do x" etc. Plenty of awful, vile and hateful comments.

The point is that kids are kids. Ours aren't any worse or better than others. I also work with kids and tbh , they aren't even that bad, especially given some of their circumstances. It's not about lowest common denominator, it's about being fair .

OP posts:
jeffgoldblum · 31/08/2023 12:20

👏 bravo @AngryGreasedSantaCatcus!

TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 31/08/2023 12:22

@Iwantmyoldnameback

What does being overweight have to do with the thread?

beeswaxinc · 31/08/2023 12:29

Trixiefirecracker · 31/08/2023 08:22

I don’t understand why MN always rant about the terrible British kids situation either. I think (well I know) there are good and bad behaviours from children all over the world. Maybe it’s just a British bashing thing? We like to tear ourselves apart a bit and clearly others do as well! 😂

You're right. I genuinely think I'm going to leave this site. It's got a large proportion of older posters - nothing at all to do with ageism but a lot of the posts about young children come from people who have not had to deal with their own young children for decades, and the constant worrying and comparing is not good for mental health or happiness.

Seeing it written down this way on this thread has definitely helped though!

BethDuttonsTwin · 31/08/2023 12:32

The naughtiest most pandered to children I have ever seen are in the UAE. Was 😲 watching them actually. UK kids complete angels in comparison.

BethDuttonsTwin · 31/08/2023 12:33

LadyBird1973 · 31/08/2023 08:19

There's a thing in this country of constantly criticising ourselves and thinking other nations do everything better, from food to clothes style to raising kids. We even carry on like we were the only country to ever have an empire and constantly flagellate ourselves about how awful we are, as if no other nation did it too! It's bollocks - countries are populated by individuals, some of whom will be better at parenting/stylish dressing/whatever, than other individuals within that same nation.

This! And it’s time to stop doing it.

Maireas · 31/08/2023 12:36

@beeswaxinc - you say nothing to do with ageism? So what's your basis for claiming that complaints come from people who haven't had to deal with children "for decades"?

Splishsplashsplooshsplosh · 31/08/2023 12:37

Be careful @beeswaxinc you'll definitely be accused of agism soon. Fwiw I agree with you. There are a lot of people on MN who spend a lot of time berating youngsters and their parents calling agism on anyone who doesn't agree with their moaning 🙄

Maireas · 31/08/2023 12:39

@Splishsplashsplooshsplosh - how do you know their age?
I have no idea how old anyone is on here. Moaning and complaining is not the preserve of one demographic.

jeffgoldblum · 31/08/2023 12:40

Splishsplashsplooshsplosh · 31/08/2023 12:37

Be careful @beeswaxinc you'll definitely be accused of agism soon. Fwiw I agree with you. There are a lot of people on MN who spend a lot of time berating youngsters and their parents calling agism on anyone who doesn't agree with their moaning 🙄

Since you're not psychic, I wonder if you could clarify just how you know the ages of other posters on this thread?
I'm curious and waiting for clarification!

beeswaxinc · 31/08/2023 12:41

jeffgoldblum · 31/08/2023 12:40

Since you're not psychic, I wonder if you could clarify just how you know the ages of other posters on this thread?
I'm curious and waiting for clarification!

Show quote history

A long long time spent browsing on mumsnet and seeing posters particularly on certain boards mentioning their age and the ages of their DCs, talking about working in the 80's and 90's etc, things like that Smile

Splishsplashsplooshsplosh · 31/08/2023 12:42

Also the same people generally say things like "in my day" or "never did me any harm". Tends to be a bit of a giveaway. But go ahead. Call agism 🤷

beeswaxinc · 31/08/2023 12:43

Maireas · 31/08/2023 12:36

@beeswaxinc - you say nothing to do with ageism? So what's your basis for claiming that complaints come from people who haven't had to deal with children "for decades"?

Of course it's nothing to do with ageism! Something being directly tied to age (i.e. having young DC decades ago) is not the same as it being age-ist.

We don't live in a world where women in their 60's and 70's have young DC so it's safe to assume that if a poster is 55+, then they have had their DC a long time ago.

CuriousPorg · 31/08/2023 12:44

We were in a European resort last week and it was the German kids pushing in in all the queues (it's almost as if we British have superior queueing skills 😉) but I have to say their English is immaculate so they understood when we pointed out that they just weren't playing cricket.

jeffgoldblum · 31/08/2023 12:46

So basically just made up crap then and being brought to any thread that you can shoehorn it into then!
And by the way derailing goady posts are not in the spirit of mn .

StanleyGoodspeed · 31/08/2023 12:47

Thank God we chose an Adult Only hotel is all I can say😅

Original poster
AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 31/08/2023 12:49

StanleyGoodspeed · 31/08/2023 12:47

Thank God we chose an Adult Only hotel is all I can say😅

We did have DD with us, so we knew what we were getting into. Can't leave her behind yet, she's only 11.Grin

OP posts:
Maireas · 31/08/2023 12:59

beeswaxinc · 31/08/2023 12:43

Of course it's nothing to do with ageism! Something being directly tied to age (i.e. having young DC decades ago) is not the same as it being age-ist.

We don't live in a world where women in their 60's and 70's have young DC so it's safe to assume that if a poster is 55+, then they have had their DC a long time ago.

Show quote history

But the people complaining on that thread had young children with them, so I'm guessing 40s at the most.
So - in other words, it wasn't necessarily older people complaining?

Maireas · 31/08/2023 13:01

Splishsplashsplooshsplosh · 31/08/2023 12:42

Also the same people generally say things like "in my day" or "never did me any harm". Tends to be a bit of a giveaway. But go ahead. Call agism 🤷

I've actually heard "in my day" said by my 35 year old neighbour complaining about teens. So. No way of telling really, unless a poster is very specific.
I think we can agree that negativity and moaning is not the preserve of one demographic.

Original poster
AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 31/08/2023 13:06

Tbh people with kids (currently)can be just as bad. Every other child is an ASBO in training, except for theirs of course.Grin

OP posts:
TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon · 31/08/2023 13:08

beeswaxinc · 31/08/2023 12:29

You're right. I genuinely think I'm going to leave this site. It's got a large proportion of older posters - nothing at all to do with ageism but a lot of the posts about young children come from people who have not had to deal with their own young children for decades, and the constant worrying and comparing is not good for mental health or happiness.

Seeing it written down this way on this thread has definitely helped though!

Show quote history

How do you know how old anybody is?

@Maireas my 19 year old daughter was just commenting to me "well, back in our day at school we'd never...." 😂

Maireas · 31/08/2023 13:10

That's so funny, @TheLongGloriesOfTheWinterMoon - I sometimes have 6th formers complaining about yr7s : "we never behaved like that in our day"! It always makes me laugh.