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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Help me work out if I’m BU or is DH!

6 replies

CreationFrustration · 30/08/2023 22:41

Long story short, DH and I were having a chat on the upstairs landing. I’m up way later than planned because DH and I were at a work event and he was keen to stay longer. Anyway, he was chatting to me whilst I was getting organised to go to bed. He was filling me in on loads of stuff and during him talking, I needed to open the kids bedroom door to grab something from the chest of drawers in my girls room. I was listening and conversing, however, the chest of drawers is just in the bedroom as you open the door. I opened the door and popped my finger to my lips to signal shhhh which was just so he would whisper. Yes, it might be rude to gesture shhhh, but I didn’t want to interrupt him but also really need to get to bed. As soon as I did this, DH got angry and stormed off downstairs. I followed him, asking him if he was genuinely cross with me. Explaining that I wasn’t going into the room, just grabbing something from the unit in the doorway. He is genuinely really upset with me. I just feel like his reaction is so extreme. I was opening the kids door which was obviously why I was reminding him to keep his voice quiet. Also, he’s had a few drinks this evening so is louder than usual. Also, by this point, I’ve been listening to him talk for a substantial time but really do need some sleep as I get up very early in the mornings for work.

Should I be grovelling? Have I been completely out of order? Thanks.

OP posts:
CreationFrustration · 30/08/2023 22:43

Sorry:

YABU - you should not have signalled shhhh to him.

YANBU - he shouldn’t be so upset about this.

OP posts:
Devilsmommy · 30/08/2023 22:48

Yanbu. I do the same to my husband when he's talking loud and I've got to check on my little one. He's never gone in a sulk about it, he understands. Wait til he's sober and tell him he was being an arse, you've got nothing to apologise for

Autieangel · 30/08/2023 22:51

YANBU If dh did that id assume he's letting me know he's about to open the kid's bedroom door so I need to be quiet.you don't want to wake the kids up!!

justasking111 · 30/08/2023 22:55

OH the loquacious drunk. Been there got the t shirt. Go to bed you're wasting your breath tonight.

Totalwasteofpaper · 30/08/2023 22:56

My husband does this.

We will be on a high street amd I am trying to retie my DDs hairband while stopping her from throwing her water cup and preventing the dog from eating left over chicken bones and he will get the hump i said uh-huh will telling me about his fave youtubers new video

No clue what the answer is but i never apologise!

UsingChangeofName · 30/08/2023 23:06

Well, you know you were "sshh-ing" him because you were about to open the dcs' bedroom door, but I suspect (even without the drink, but certainly with it) he just saw you "sshh-ing" him.
Just go to bed and don't overthink it.
Or go to bed and explain in the morning.
No, you don't need to grovel, but you probably weren't clear to him, and I can't understand why you then made a big deal of it rather than just getting into bed and going to sleep.

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