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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To find some children very intimidating

69 replies

paintityellow · 30/08/2023 20:28

My uncle was walking in his usual park a few days ago. A boy pointed at him and said 'there's a bad man'. My uncle stopped, absolutely shocked. The mum said 'oh we're teaching him to be careful around strange men' and just laughed it off. My uncle is now refusing to walk in the park, even though it is the only place close enough for him to have a daily walk,

A few weeks ago I went out for a walk around my estate. A child walking in front of me darted behind a car, I walked past, she started walking on the opposite side of the road giving me anxious looks, again I walked past her and then saw her peering at me over a wall before running off when she saw me looking at her. It was intimidating and uncomfortable and I just turned around and went home.

I have also had a friend who recently heard loud noise outside her window, leant forward from where she was watching TV and saw some kids roller blading. One child shrieked 'someone's watching us' and they all skated away at high speed and she felt like the wicked witch of the west.

AIBU to think that some kids are being brought up to be so scared of any unknown adults that they're actually becoming intimidating and bullying adults they don't know away from public spaces and normal activities?

OP posts:

GarlicGrace · 31/08/2023 05:58

I voted YANBU because some kids are very intimidating.

Just not the ones you've mentioned.

hylian · 31/08/2023 06:04

Why would an anxious child make you feel intimidated?

Kids are weird sometimes. Just ignore them. If the things you mention really are worrying you then maybe you should seek some counselling for your own anxiety.

hylian · 31/08/2023 06:06

To be honest the second child you mentioned who darted behind a car - I would have asked her if she was OK. She sounds scared and might have been running away from someone/ something at home.

I really don't understand your nerves about this. These are just children.

WandaWonder · 31/08/2023 06:07

I would presume there is some issues you need to address if this is the way you genuinely feel, judgement is the first one

oakleaffy · 31/08/2023 06:37

UndercoverCop · 31/08/2023 05:21

DH works in youth justice/mh, there are some intimidating children who are in/lead gangs and carry weapons and use them without thought of consequence.
Your examples are ridiculous and I'm not sure you understand what intimidating means

Edited

I was sure this post would be about violent young teens threatening OP!

AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 31/08/2023 06:43

You're adults, what's your excuse for being so anxious ?

YukoandHiro · 31/08/2023 06:48

These are all completely normal things for kids to do.

Why are you paying them so much attention? I'm amazed you've even remembered them happening enough to post about it.

WunWun · 31/08/2023 06:52

The examples you've given are serious over reactions to non-events. None of these situations were intimidating, they are small children. If none of the adults were doing anything wrong they had to train to react like they did. This is utterly ridiculous.

Oysterbabe · 31/08/2023 06:54

No, none of those examples are bullying or intimidating.

HectorSalamanca · 31/08/2023 06:59

None of the examples you have given make these kids sound like they are intimidating, or bullying adults.

If the parents are teaching their kids stranger danger, he must have been young. 4 or 5 maybe? So your uncle felt that intimidated by a reception aged school child, that he is now too afraid to go for a walk???

I agree with a pp about the 2nd example. The girl could have been in trouble and I also would have checked if she was okay.

Example 3 - group of kids on roller blades acting daft as kids do when they're together. Bizarre that it made your friend feel like a witch and intimidated her.

Have you lead a particularly sheltered life and not really been around kids much?

MrsDBaddiel · 31/08/2023 06:59

The op will probably now start a thread about being bullied and intimidated on mn for starting a discussion about a complete non event that didn’t happen. You wonder how some people get through the day 🙄

Mrsphilmiller · 31/08/2023 07:00

Well this post turned out to be a load of nonsense.

happymittens · 31/08/2023 07:01

This is a ridiculous post.

Hibiscrubbed · 31/08/2023 07:13

Um…no. Not one of those situations was intimidating for an adult in my opinion.

Alycidon · 31/08/2023 07:19

I would be disconcerted by these actions. I want to go about my day without veiled accusations of being somehow dodgy. YANBU.

MrsS2009 · 31/08/2023 07:21

If I was your uncle I’d of responded by saying I hope you’re teaching about safe strangers too.

child behind the car is of checked her well-being

i always look out the window 🤷🏼‍♀️

but then again I’ve worked in education for over 10 years if I was worried about children I couldn’t do my job, I used to work in pupil referral unit, on my first day I got locked in a classroom with the class and another teacher by a student who barricaded the door with a locker and table whilst abuse and objects were thrown at us, I was told I’m already hated and a bitch I’d say that’s intimidating for the purpose of this thread

MillicentTrilbyHiggins · 31/08/2023 07:34

Are some children intimidating? Yes.
Are the children in your OP examples of this? No.

Testina · 31/08/2023 07:38

I thought this was going to be about actual intimidating children 🤣

That running off shouting “we’re being watched” is just the essence of giddy silly childhood!

Your uncle needs therapy.

See if you can get a 2 for 1 deal, cos it’s also not normal to be intimidated by a shy child.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 31/08/2023 07:39

Why on earth would you find anxious children intimidating? I'm a secondary school teacher and have certainly encountered a fair few genuinely intimidating children over my long career. What you're describing is not intimidating behaviour. At all.

jellytable · 31/08/2023 07:44

paintityellow · 30/08/2023 20:32

I have spoken about 3 separate people being made to feel uncomfortable about overly anxious kids. No I don't have an anxiety disorder, just want me and other adults to be able to act normally without being made to feel uncomfortable by over anxious children.

I think they just agreed with you because they felt sorry you're so anxious. Nothing to worry about here.

BackToOklahoma · 31/08/2023 07:48

What is going on with all the child hating type posts at the moment? And this is the poorest attempt at trying to say children are bad that I’ve seen so far.

Bizarre.

Lostinplaces · 31/08/2023 07:52

You and you uncle both sound a bit wet.

Beeinalily · 31/08/2023 07:56

Upsetting rather than intimidating, OP, but yes I can understand how you feel.

Toonali8 · 31/08/2023 07:58

Christ

Mountain out of a molehill

I thought you were going to say you were spat at or ran into by an e-scooter.

AngryGreasedSantaCatcus · 31/08/2023 08:00

The irony is not lost on me of OP complaining about overly anxious kids, when full grown adults couldn't cope with a comment and some looks.

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