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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Teenager calling in sick to work

45 replies

Penelope18 · 30/08/2023 18:36

Hello, first time I've ever posted anything. I feel terrible. My 15 Yr old son has been working as a pot wash in a local pub for the summer. He generally goes in to work. works hard and enjoys earning his own money. He has however on occasions asked me or his father to call in sick for him (father and I are not together and my son lives with me) each time this has happened one of us has made the call. I think a couple of times he has felt genuinely unwell and a couple of times he has been blagging it! So today he calls me whilst I was out saying that he was meant to be working today . I always take him in but thought he had the day off today. I told him to get dressed I would come straight back and take him to work, he'd be a little late but not by too much. He declined and asked me to call in sick for him. I said No, explained that he needed to make the call himself, just explain there had been a mix up etc etc. He declined and so did I. I wanted him to understand that this is part of growing up and that he needed to be responsible and that if I always made the call he would never build his own confidence up to do such things. His Dad also declined saying I should do it because he did it the last time. Anyway, they let him go as no contact was made. I feel awful for him, as I know he's going to be upset. He is blaming me, I know his dad is too. Should I have made the call. He is nearly 16. I feel sick for him
Many thanks.

OP posts:
Rachie1973 · 30/08/2023 18:38

Nope. Life lesson learned. Adult jobs expect you to act like an adult.

WeThreeKingsofOrientAre · 30/08/2023 18:38

Exactly what @Rachie1973 said!

Chenford · 30/08/2023 18:39

Rachie1973 · 30/08/2023 18:38

Nope. Life lesson learned. Adult jobs expect you to act like an adult.

Nailed it. No other response needed.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 30/08/2023 18:40

He has a job - he has all the responsibilities that come with it.

mogsrus · 30/08/2023 18:42

Life lesson hopefully learnt

Takacupokindnessyet · 30/08/2023 18:43

If he is old enough to have a job, he is old enough to take responsibility to communicate with his manager.

breathequietly · 30/08/2023 18:44

Not your fault at all! Lesson learned I think. He might be an arse for a couple of days but he'll soon realise he's actually annoyed at himself

theemmadilemma · 30/08/2023 18:44

Responsible and old enough to have a job, equals responsible and old enough to call in sick.

TooManyAnimals94 · 30/08/2023 18:46

They probably would have sacked him anyway for calling in sick when he was already meant to be there. Not convincing is it?
You shouldn't feel bad at all, except possibly for agreeing to call for him in the first place.

Penelope18 · 30/08/2023 18:46

Thank you all. I knew I'd done the right thing deep down.

OP posts:
CeeceeBloomingdale · 30/08/2023 18:46

If this is at least the fifth time he's been off sick, possibly in as many weeks he hasn't been reliable so I'm not surprised they haven't kept him on. I'd have been getting him to ring in himself from day dot as it's much easier to delegate to a parent. Doing it himself might have made him more reliable. Life lesson learnt.

Penelope18 · 30/08/2023 18:47

Yes rod made for ones own back I think.

OP posts:
GNR2022 · 30/08/2023 18:49

Why is he blaming you?? Didn’t his Father also decline to make the call?

jc12689 · 30/08/2023 18:49

Rachie1973 · 30/08/2023 18:38

Nope. Life lesson learned. Adult jobs expect you to act like an adult.

Sort of agree but I bet they're not getting paid as an adult. It cuts both ways.

ilovesooty · 30/08/2023 18:49

You did the right thing. Hopefully he'll learn.

LynetteScavo · 30/08/2023 18:55

It's so annoying when teenagers blame you for things that are their own fault, especially when you start to doubt yourself. You did nothing wrong.

Hellocatshome · 30/08/2023 18:56

Old enough to have a job, old enough to call in sick. Life lesson learned especially as you know he wasn't being truthful about being sick on this and some previous occasions.

morag1234 · 30/08/2023 18:58

You definitely did the right thing.

SoundsLikeAYouProblem · 30/08/2023 18:58

I would never have phoned for him in the first place, especially if he was pulling a sickie.
Consequences of his actions.

Soubriquet · 30/08/2023 18:58

An awful lesson he had to learn but learn it he must.

HonoriaLucastaDelagardie · 30/08/2023 19:06

He has a job - he has all the responsibilities that come with it.

Which includes getting himself there on time, not relying on his mother to take him. (Unless there's absolutely no public transport and he can't cycle.)

BackToOklahoma · 30/08/2023 19:07

I’d say I’m fairly soft on my children, but I would absolutely not phone in sick to work for them. It makes them look irresponsible and immature.

It’s a shame he’s now lost his job but he’s only 15, it’s hard to get any job here til you’re 16 or 18 quite often so many kids his age aren’t working yet anyway. It’s not the end of the world and the shock might be enough to get him to rethink his attitude. 🤞

LindorDoubleChoc · 30/08/2023 19:09

This reply has been deleted

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tescocreditcard · 30/08/2023 19:09

In a way it's a good lesson to learn. You've done nothing wrong.

Scienceadvisory · 30/08/2023 19:10

They probably would have fired him soon anyway if he's only started this summer and had multiple days off sick.