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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To confront my neighbours

189 replies

neighbourhoodhell · 30/08/2023 12:20

So, would love opinions on how to deal with this situation.

Neighbours moved in 3 or so months ago and when they moved in, I went over to introduce myself and say hello and welcome etc etc. They seemed friendly and apologised about the upcoming work they will be having done, asked if I WFH to which I said yes, hybrid but majority at home.

For the past 3 months, every single day there has been drilling, hammering, shouting etc that has been pretty unbearable however, I have just let it slide and put my headphones in... I should also add that the work starts at around 7am and finishes about 9pm... and goes on over the weekend on both Saturday and Sunday!

Last weekend we got a card through the door apologising and saying thanks for the patience etc, and that they were nearly half way through... I thought oh god another 3 months of this hell, but again thought they are doing what they need to do, keep shtum and say thanks for the note.

Until today.... my whole house is shaking, the noise is unbearable and my colleagues and clients can no longer actually hear me on calls (with or without headphones) and no matter what room I work in, it is the same! I had a peep in and it looks like they are completely knocking down walls and building a brand new kitchen

SO WIBU to go round and ask for clarity on what work happens on what day so I can plan accordingly and let them know I can no longer WFH because of them... or should I just grin and bear and try and go into the office more (although this costs me £50 a day...!)

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Glorifried · 30/08/2023 12:23

I think asking for a schedule is more than justified and you're being a very patient neighbour!

lanthanum · 30/08/2023 12:25

I think it's entirely reasonable to go and explain that the sort of noise today made it impossible to wfh, and please could they give you a schedule of when that sort of thing will be happening so that you can go to the office on those days.

Also check the rules on noisy working - I'm sure someone will be along with a link, but there are limits on when it can happen.

Aquamarine1029 · 30/08/2023 12:26

There's only so many walls that can be torn down. That level of noise shouldn't last long.

Movinghouseatlast · 30/08/2023 12:27

Although it's a pain, there is actually nothing you can do. You can report them to the council for going outside whatever working hours your council stipulate but that's it. So knocking a wall down during working hours is allowed.

Knocking a wall down is a quick job so probably just a few days max then they will be building the extension which probably won't cause your house to vibrate.

FloweryName · 30/08/2023 12:28

You working from home really isn’t their problem. Go to the office if you need office like conditions. Homes need renovation and maintenance so having work done at home is inevitable.

Your neighbours have been as nice as they could be and they can’t predict what their builders will be doing each day.

Your only valid complaint is work starting at 7. That I would definitely complain about.

LemonLymanDotCom · 30/08/2023 12:35

Why don't you just talk to them instead of "confront" them? Why does it has to be so aggressive?

TheBarbieEffect · 30/08/2023 12:37

FloweryName · 30/08/2023 12:28

You working from home really isn’t their problem. Go to the office if you need office like conditions. Homes need renovation and maintenance so having work done at home is inevitable.

Your neighbours have been as nice as they could be and they can’t predict what their builders will be doing each day.

Your only valid complaint is work starting at 7. That I would definitely complain about.

Yup, agree with this.

Tinkerbyebye · 30/08/2023 12:37

I would go round and explain the issue and yes ask for a schedule. I would also mention the early starts and late finishes, there are times they can do such work, and they need to keep to that

Tinkerbyebye · 30/08/2023 12:39

FloweryName · 30/08/2023 12:28

You working from home really isn’t their problem. Go to the office if you need office like conditions. Homes need renovation and maintenance so having work done at home is inevitable.

Your neighbours have been as nice as they could be and they can’t predict what their builders will be doing each day.

Your only valid complaint is work starting at 7. That I would definitely complain about.

Yes it is. Why should the op have to pay the extra expense of going to the office? And actually if it’s hybrid would there be space? Lots of companies now hot desk so actually there may not be room

as to the shaking etc I would be worried that something is going to happen to my house

and what would you say to those of us who wfh full time?

bravotango · 30/08/2023 12:40

Any party wall work? check if there should have been an agreement in place. And absolutely crack down on the unsociable hours - where we are its not before 8 and not after 5:30, and absolutely nothing on a sunday or bank holiday. The noisy stuff won't last long though if that's any consolation

FallingStar21 · 30/08/2023 12:41

FloweryName · 30/08/2023 12:28

You working from home really isn’t their problem. Go to the office if you need office like conditions. Homes need renovation and maintenance so having work done at home is inevitable.

Your neighbours have been as nice as they could be and they can’t predict what their builders will be doing each day.

Your only valid complaint is work starting at 7. That I would definitely complain about.

It may not be "their problem" but working 7am-9pm and spreading over the weekend is seriously inconsiderate and taking the piss. I would check info on your council OP, I don't believe noisy work to that level would be allowed on weekends too! People have a right to rest and enjoy some quiet time at home. It's even worse if they have babies or young children who need to sleep in the day or early bed times.
Definitely speak to your neighbours and ask them to clarify their plans do you can too plan accordingly. If they are breaking council rules mention this as well and the fact you are struggling with the noise day in day out.

TheBarbieEffect · 30/08/2023 12:41

@Tinkerbyebye I would say homes are primarily for living in.

If you choose to work from your home you have to put up with less than ideal conditions.

EvilElsa · 30/08/2023 12:41

I don't think you need to "confront" them. You could have a conversation about the noise and ask for dates.
For the sake of neighbourly relations I'd probably just suck it up. Sounds like they are cracking on with it and once it's done, it's done. I can't imagine it will continue to be that noisy for three months, once the demolition/construction part is finished it will be plastering and decorating which will be a lot quieter.
It's annoying, but they sound like nice people who get it's annoying and hopefully once it's all finished you will have decent neighbours (a massive win!)

Aquamarine1029 · 30/08/2023 12:43

Tinkerbyebye · 30/08/2023 12:39

Yes it is. Why should the op have to pay the extra expense of going to the office? And actually if it’s hybrid would there be space? Lots of companies now hot desk so actually there may not be room

as to the shaking etc I would be worried that something is going to happen to my house

and what would you say to those of us who wfh full time?

Show quote history

No, it is not their problem that the op works from home. If you choose to work from home, you have to accept that there will be periods where building work, tree cutting, road work, etc, will be done and you'll just have to work around it.

and what would you say to those of us who wfh full time?

I would apologise for the noise, which the neighbour has done. There's nothing more they can do.

Original poster
neighbourhoodhell · 30/08/2023 12:43

Thanks for those with useful comments, much appreciated.

@LemonLymanDotCom where did I say confront...? Maybe read properly before accusing lovely...!

@Tinkerbyebye absolutely! I would struggle to get a desk as other teams have set days so I would have to fight a case for this...something I don't particularly want to do, and £150 a week feels very steep at the moment considering the cost of living

Those saying that IABU, you seem to also have missed the point that they are doing these works over weekends too.... am I supposed to go to the office then as well? Or go out and spend a fortune to allow them to crack on with works?

OP posts:
FallingStar21 · 30/08/2023 12:44

TheBarbieEffect · 30/08/2023 12:41

@Tinkerbyebye I would say homes are primarily for living in.

If you choose to work from your home you have to put up with less than ideal conditions.

Some jobs are purely WFH though, with no option to go to the office. Some noise and construction work is of course to be expected, but so loud and such long hours every single day? Don't think so.

Conkersinautumn · 30/08/2023 12:44

Asking for some sort of plan of the works so you're able to at least be warned of more demolition work isn't unreasonable

2PintsOfCidernaBagofCrisps · 30/08/2023 12:46

neighbourhoodhell · 30/08/2023 12:43

Thanks for those with useful comments, much appreciated.

@LemonLymanDotCom where did I say confront...? Maybe read properly before accusing lovely...!

@Tinkerbyebye absolutely! I would struggle to get a desk as other teams have set days so I would have to fight a case for this...something I don't particularly want to do, and £150 a week feels very steep at the moment considering the cost of living

Those saying that IABU, you seem to also have missed the point that they are doing these works over weekends too.... am I supposed to go to the office then as well? Or go out and spend a fortune to allow them to crack on with works?

The subject line of your entire post is "To CONFRONT my neighbours" 😐

LemonLymanDotCom · 30/08/2023 12:46

neighbourhoodhell · 30/08/2023 12:43

Thanks for those with useful comments, much appreciated.

@LemonLymanDotCom where did I say confront...? Maybe read properly before accusing lovely...!

@Tinkerbyebye absolutely! I would struggle to get a desk as other teams have set days so I would have to fight a case for this...something I don't particularly want to do, and £150 a week feels very steep at the moment considering the cost of living

Those saying that IABU, you seem to also have missed the point that they are doing these works over weekends too.... am I supposed to go to the office then as well? Or go out and spend a fortune to allow them to crack on with works?

Ummm, isn't the title of the post "To confront my neighbours"????

EvilElsa · 30/08/2023 12:47

Your title is confront OP.

DinaofCloud9 · 30/08/2023 12:47

neighbourhoodhell · Today 12:43
Thanks for those with useful comments, much appreciated.

@LemonLymanDotCom where did I say confront...? Maybe read properly before accusing lovely...!

How patronising. Check your title.

Fleetwoodmac2 · 30/08/2023 12:48

neighbourhoodhell · 30/08/2023 12:43

Thanks for those with useful comments, much appreciated.

@LemonLymanDotCom where did I say confront...? Maybe read properly before accusing lovely...!

@Tinkerbyebye absolutely! I would struggle to get a desk as other teams have set days so I would have to fight a case for this...something I don't particularly want to do, and £150 a week feels very steep at the moment considering the cost of living

Those saying that IABU, you seem to also have missed the point that they are doing these works over weekends too.... am I supposed to go to the office then as well? Or go out and spend a fortune to allow them to crack on with works?

The title of your thread literally says confront. Maybe read things yourself before being so rude.

SleeplessInShoeburyness · 30/08/2023 12:51

TheBarbieEffect · 30/08/2023 12:41

@Tinkerbyebye I would say homes are primarily for living in.

If you choose to work from your home you have to put up with less than ideal conditions.

Well in that case, even if the OP wasn’t working from home, she is still living in her home and should be notified if there is going to be excess noise to the level that her house is shaking and that is disruptive to her living in peace.

She could be a SAHM with a baby/toddler who would be disturbed during naps etc, have dogs who are going crazy, have a medical condition. The WFH is a red herring.

Decent neighbours plan large scale renovations in a way that will cause the least disruption to neighbours in the least amount of time especially if the houses are connected.

Abfab63 · 30/08/2023 12:52

I'd ask how much noisy work is left to do. I'm surprised it's been that loud for that long! Hopefully should just be quiet bits like plastering, painting, plumbing etc left

littlebopeepp234 · 30/08/2023 12:55

neighbourhoodhell · 30/08/2023 12:43

Thanks for those with useful comments, much appreciated.

@LemonLymanDotCom where did I say confront...? Maybe read properly before accusing lovely...!

@Tinkerbyebye absolutely! I would struggle to get a desk as other teams have set days so I would have to fight a case for this...something I don't particularly want to do, and £150 a week feels very steep at the moment considering the cost of living

Those saying that IABU, you seem to also have missed the point that they are doing these works over weekends too.... am I supposed to go to the office then as well? Or go out and spend a fortune to allow them to crack on with works?

The word ‘confront’ is in the title of your thread so that poster did actually read properly.