Are all my friends group messaging/chatting without me

[Nightsaredrawinginhey]

Realise this sounds crazy paranoid 🙈
I’ve noticed they all seem to be on at the same/similar time (no messages to me)
Is it just coincidence that people are on WhatsApp that often and messaging other people? I have a feeling they’re all meeting up without me maybe

Oh god that's really hard. Is there any activity on your normal group chat? If not you could be right. Could you reach out to the one you are closest to?

This is why I turned "online" or last seen off...

@TheAOEAztec Because you thought the same?

@workshy46 No arrangements made on the group one

No because sometimes I don't have time to answer everyone and don't want to be stalked

I would try and stop being the person that obsesses over when people are online.
Make the first move, send them a message, stop worrying.

Exactly the same here.

How do you even notice this?! I hadn't even thought to look tbh

Why don't you suggest something on the group and see what happens

But you're on line and not messaging them?

I would just assume they're all actively chatting to... anyone. There are probably peak times people use WhatsApp and they might be doing online dating chats, family group chats, work chats...

But you're online too? Lots of people use what's app lots of the time. Do you message them?

I'm wondering if this is something that we care less about the older we get.
It used to matter a lot to me when I was in my 20's, possibly even into my 30's, but now I'm in my 40's it really doesn't bother me in the slightest.
I've been through some tough times though, so maybe that has something to do with it. I just see things in a whole new perspective now.

Yes, that could be what's going on but it's equally possible they are each talking with other people. There's a good chance that I'll be on line mid evening messaging multiple people. Maybe someone within your group can see that you're online and wonder if you're all talking about them.
Surely though it's OK for friends to have separate conversations that don't involve you. I really think you're making this into something way bigger than it should be.

Jeez

They could be chatting to each other individually or possibly in a group. They could also be chatting to other friends/ family. They could be video calling people which will make them look online for a long time.

It could easily just be coincidence they all look to be online at the same time - bear in mind you will also look online at these times so another one of your friends could notice the same thing and assume that actually you are part of a secret group chat and that they are being left out. In reality nobody is necessarilly in a group chat.

Is there anything, other than seeing they are all online at similar times, to make you think they are chatting on another group chat and leaving you out?

I’ve never thought to even look before, not exactly sure what prompted me too

*To

With the greatest respect, you need to stop obsessing over this or it will drive you crazy and it's an invented problem. If you mentioned it you'd sound unhinged. They could be talking to anyone! They could be talking to each other one-to-one, or they could be just checking old chats. It could be anything, don't jump straight to "they hate me". They're your friends!