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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

31 and never had a job

64 replies

ICantThinkOfAUniqueUsername · 30/08/2023 04:48

I got married a bit more than a decade ago. Back then I was in my 2nd year at uni. ExH was older and a struggling musician and he convinced my stupid self to quit school so we could travel around playing random gigs.

Shortly after, he gave up on that dream and we went to live with his mum. Initially I found work at a local bookshop but less than a month in he started throwing a fit at me hanging out with my coworkers so I quit that too.

For the next 7 or so years my life was me sitting at home while he got high all day long, looking after his mum whose health was declining, and looking after his 2 teens when they visited.

I won't go into the details of the divorce but 3 years ago I left, moved back to my mum's house on the other side of the country, and started doing a distance learning uni course. 2 weeks ago I received my results and I've (finally) graduated with a BSc in Data Science!

Been applying for all sorts of entry level jobs and internships for the past 2-3 months but it seems like a hopeless endeavour. The furthest I got was an interview as an Investment Analyst Intern and they seemed very concerned about the 10 year gap in my resume. I've found a job as a receptionist at my local dentist (they said it's a temporary role) that I'm due to start next week but that's about it.

AIBU to think that I'm unemployable in my field? I'm not giving up of course but I guess I'm just feeling pretty down today. Sad

OP posts:
Dontsparethehorses · 30/08/2023 04:51

It might be hard but don’t give up - it you can afford to find some voluntary roles to build your experience and confidence up! Good luck and believe in yourself - it’s never too late!

CalistoNoSolo · 30/08/2023 04:56

Well you have a job, which is the most important first step. Definitely have a look at temp/freelance in your preferred field on places like Fivr because right now you just need to build up your CV. And come up with a convincing story as to why you have such a gap - you were looking after an elderly relative so couldn't work kind of thing. Good luck, and a massive well done for getting your degree.

clarebear111 · 30/08/2023 04:59

I agree with looking at volunteering to get some relevant experience and build contacts. Does your remote learning provider have a careers advisor etc you could speak to?

You’ve shown strength leaving a situation that sounds like it wasn’t healthy or positive, and I hope you are proud of yourself for it (without wanting to sound patronising). This is the next challenge. It may end up being a numbers game- keep knocking on the doors and eventually one will open.

wishing you the best of luck OP.

BackOfTheMum5net · 30/08/2023 05:00

You’ve managed to get yourself out of an incredibly difficult situation and that shows you’ve got drive and guts. Don’t let this set back hold you down - you’ve got ten years to catch up on!

Callmemummynotmaaa · 30/08/2023 05:25

OP is the gap addressed on your cv? “Due to family caring responsibility’s I was not in paid employment from x to y. Those responsibilities ended and I returned to education in Z”
and then do a skills based CV?
Essentially you need to reassure people you are ready and willing to work (which your post puts across very well). You’ve survived so much! I hope it works out for you

ICantThinkOfAUniqueUsername · 30/08/2023 05:38

Will look into volunteering!

Does your remote learning provider have a careers advisor etc you could speak to?

Might be a bit outing but I did my distance learning degree with UoL and they're not the most supportive or responsive (it took them 2 months to reply to a support ticket about my module selection and a similar time for one regarding my fees). I have read through all the resources and attended all the careers webinars though but they're not very "personalised" per se.

*OP is the gap addressed on your cv? “Due to family caring responsibility’s I was not in paid employment from x to y. Those responsibilities ended and I returned to education in Z”
and then do a skills based CV? *

Would this help? I've read conflicting information about addressing the gap as some articles state that it's better to explain it away while some say you should just start with your degree and do a skills-based one from there.

OP posts:
sanabria · 30/08/2023 05:42

Have you tried applying for a graduate schemes/apprenticeships with a big company like NatWest? They do entry level schemes that I've been eyeing up for a while.

Also look at code first girls. They have sponsored traineeships with guaranteed jobs at the end.
Could be worth a shot.
Data science is in big demand at the moment, so you've got a valuable skill. Hang in there. You just need to get your foot in the door somewhere.

Hopinghonestly · 30/08/2023 05:49

In your CV state the gap was carer.

Then always do a cover letter and depending on what your applying for make it a strength.

Like if its internship, state how going back into education recently as you never give up on your pursuits, even though circumstance and responsibilities prevented you but you never shy away from hard responsibilities.

Also your temporary job till you find what you want is great as it will provide a current reference.

If you have a good enough reason for gap its fine. Also use the gap to say what a team player you are as you are empathetic, caring and would do do much for members of your team and take on work loads to help :)

HellonHeels · 30/08/2023 05:52

Interim roles might be accessible for you, or temping if you're looking to build basic experience.

ICantThinkOfAUniqueUsername · 30/08/2023 06:20

sanabria · 30/08/2023 05:42

Have you tried applying for a graduate schemes/apprenticeships with a big company like NatWest? They do entry level schemes that I've been eyeing up for a while.

Also look at code first girls. They have sponsored traineeships with guaranteed jobs at the end.
Could be worth a shot.
Data science is in big demand at the moment, so you've got a valuable skill. Hang in there. You just need to get your foot in the door somewhere.

I've applied to graduate schemes and internships at every big company I can think of with custom cover letters for each but no luck. Asked an old classmate who's one of the few people I'm in contact with to review my resume (she works in HR) and she said it's ok but that there's not much I can do because I don't really have much to put on it in the first place. I'm working on it though!

Checked out that code first girls site. Will apply for the traineeship degrees on there today. Have already registered for a kickstarter course and a MOOC sprint which I think is open to everyone so even if I don't get it at least I'll get a cert to put on my resume to make it look less empty. Smile

Thanks for the suggestions!

OP posts:
Scaryghost · 30/08/2023 06:28

Always address any gaps in your CV, right from when you left formal education at 16/18. Friend interviewed for a post many many years ago and turns out the gap was prison for mansalughter. Only found out when the CRB came through.

NeverAloneNeverAgain · 30/08/2023 06:31

Explaining the gap in your CV as PP suggest will help. I also took the scenic route through life and have a gap from 2001-2009 when I dropped out of education and then returned with no employment or anything between. Under where you have qualifications on CV put a heading 'gaps in employment' and insert reason - PP suggested caring responsibilities. I think that's a good shout! It shows why you've not been able to work etc. It may be difficult to get your foot in the door but don't feel disheartened it's a difficult time to get employment and there's lots of competition but youvwill get there. Open Uni offer free mini courses there maybe some relevant that you can use to pad out your CV and obviously your current job will help with a recent reference. Good luck amd don't give up!

MintJulia · 30/08/2023 06:34

BackOfTheMum5net · 30/08/2023 05:00

You’ve managed to get yourself out of an incredibly difficult situation and that shows you’ve got drive and guts. Don’t let this set back hold you down - you’ve got ten years to catch up on!

This. Don't give up.

Look for temporary work in your field to get a little experience, and to make some contacts.

Well done for getting this far.

Totalwasteofpaper · 30/08/2023 06:40

Do not give up. You have come so far.

From my own experience and my DH's the first job is the hardest.

Personally given the size of the gap i would address it briefly as others suggested.

Augustus40 · 30/08/2023 06:41

Do some tempi n g and have no more gaps.

WineIsMyCarb · 30/08/2023 06:44

Well done for leaving your situation, which didn't sound like it had much in it for you. And congrats on your qualification!

Civil service won't care that you took 10 years out to be a carer. Go to YouTube to see how to answer their style of interview questions.

There are currently 500 or so jobs that might be a good match for you, depending where you live. Most jobs are 3 days in office, 2 from home if that helps with location.

https://www.civilservicejobs.service.gov.uk/csr/index.cgi?SID=cGFnZWNsYXNzPVNlYXJjaCZwYWdlYWN0aW9uPXNlYXJjaGNvbnRleHQmb3duZXI9NTA3MDAwMCZjb250ZXh0aWQ9NDc5ODgxNzEmb3duZXJ0eXBlPWZhaXImcmVxc2lnPTE2OTMzNzQxMjYtYmI4MjgxYzE0MmQwYzBkODkwZTM4N2RjNTNkNDI4OTRhM2NiZGQyOQ==

432 Search results - Civil Service Jobs - GOV.UK

Search and apply for jobs in the UK Civil Service

https://www.civilservicejobs.service.gov.uk/csr/index.cgi?SID=cGFnZWNsYXNzPVNlYXJjaCZwYWdlYWN0aW9uPXNlYXJjaGNvbnRleHQmb3duZXI9NTA3MDAwMCZjb250ZXh0aWQ9NDc5ODgxNzEmb3duZXJ0eXBlPWZhaXImcmVxc2lnPTE2OTMzNzQxMjYtYmI4MjgxYzE0MmQwYzBkODkwZTM4N2RjNTNkNDI4OTRhM2NiZGQyOQ%3D%3D

namechange55465 · 30/08/2023 06:45

Have you tried the civil service OP? We are generally way less fussy about your career history as long as it's explained - it'll just be competency based interviews.

Sourcherriesarebest · 30/08/2023 06:48

Temping as a receptionist is a great start, use it to leapfrog into other temp jobs in different areas as if you do two or three different temp jobs you will learn SO much about the working world without having to out yourself as ‘the one who didn’t work for ages’. There are so many commonalities in the working world.

Meanwhile if you keep adding to your data knowledge, you will add more to your CV in that way.

Don’t be afraid to apply into your desired area in very junior / admin roles as if you are keen, nice and reliable it’s usually easier to get promotion or move into new areas inhouse.

Keep going.

Sourcherriesarebest · 30/08/2023 06:48

namechange55465 · 30/08/2023 06:45

Have you tried the civil service OP? We are generally way less fussy about your career history as long as it's explained - it'll just be competency based interviews.

I was also going to suggest this!

HelpaFriend85 · 30/08/2023 06:56

Don’t focus on the fact you’ve never had a job til 31, address the gap in your CV as PPs have said as a carer. Then switch it to the positives. You must have a super mindset to do what you’ve done, use this mindset and don’t lose that determination.

chatenoire · 30/08/2023 06:59

If you live in London, try temping for a big company (that's how I got into my current career).

Personally, I wouldn't address the gap, there's nothing to address IMO (what if you were someone who lived off a trust fund for example?) plus I would say your employment history is for all terms and purposes non existent.

Have you looked at those big recruitment events from Deloitte, KPG, etc? I think one of those would be your best bet.

Data Science is one of the most high in demand jobs, just make sure it says "entry level" Check out this job at FuturLab: www.linkedin.com/jobs/view/3694246465

Nappyvalley15 · 30/08/2023 07:08

Well done for moving forward. You do have to explain the 10 year gap on your CV. Otherwise recruiters will think the worst.

Willmafrockfit · 30/08/2023 07:19

i think they will just ask you in interview,
your date of birth isnt on your application
your qualifications are
if they notice then you can explain Caring

Peony654 · 30/08/2023 07:24

I do a lot of recruit and I’d much prefer it if a candidate explains gaps on their CV, whatever the explanation is. For now I’d focus on getting any job you can, can you look at temping as this would help build you experience quickly?

MaybeanothertimeNotReally · 30/08/2023 07:25

Get in touch with your university career's service, you can use them post graduation. Ask them to help you with your CV and cover letter and finding voluntary or paid placements.

Regarding your career gaps, lots of people have them for a variety of reasons. Maternity, caring duties (this is what you should put down), travel & return to education etc.

Look in sectors that need IT/data analysts such as charity, education, Healthcare & finance as well as pure IT companies. You're more likely to get something if you widen your net.

https://www.charityjob.co.uk/

https://www.jobs.ac.uk/search/?keywords=Data+analyst+&location=

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