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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Nursery breaking contract

24 replies

MsCoco · 29/08/2023 21:24

My DS attends nursery 2 days a week, I’m currently on maternity leave with my DD. We kept DS in nursery for 2 days as he really enjoys the time with his friends, activities etc. and it gives me some focused time with my DD - which can be a challenge with a toddler running around!

Today was due to be one of DS’s nursery days, I obviously adore him but I was looking forward to him going to nursery to have a quiet day at home, I’ve been feeling really unwell the past few days and DD hasn’t been sleeping well, so I had planned a day of snuggles on the sofa, to rest up ahead of a busy day of fun tomorrow with both my children.

unfortunately, nursery called this morning and said they needed to cancel DS’s place today as they were short staffed and they’d refund me for the day. I was quite distracted at the time and just said ok, but then an email
went around to all parents asking for volunteers to keep their kids home for the day. I called the nursery back saying why wasn’t I asked rather than told my session was cancelled and they basically said they had no choice but to cancel a number of children and so started with parents on government funding and then those on mat leave as those parents are at home anyway….

AIBU to think that this is really unfair? Just like every other parent I have a contract and pay my bill a month in advance, yes I’m on mat leave but I could have had anything planned, and like I said I was feeling really rotten and desperate to rest and recover.

I appreciate that working parents would have potentially been more inconvenienced, but everyone’s circumstances are different, some people have grandparents happy to step in, some people might have wanted to save the money if they had older kids off from school anyway etc. it seems very narrow minded and unfair of nursery! But what do you think?

OP posts:

towriteyoumustlive · 29/08/2023 21:27

They had an emergency with not enough staff.

Logic dictates to try and cancel the care for those who would not have to make alternative childcare plans or lose a days salary.

It's perfectly logical.

SiousieSoo · 29/08/2023 21:28

It sounds like they did not have time to undertake a detailed analysis of individual circumstances, so they did their initial assessment based on fairly crude criteria. I am sorry but I think their approach was entirely reasonable in the circumstances, in terms of having to make a quick decision with presumably limited time. Your outrage is really not warranted here.

BlackberryCrumbs · 29/08/2023 21:29

If they had to cancel a certain number of children then I can see why they'd think the best approach would be to start with children who they know attend due to 'choice' and not 'need'.

They were trying to cause the minimum disruption possible.

I think yabu.

avocadotofu · 29/08/2023 21:30

SiousieSoo · 29/08/2023 21:28

I agree wholeheartedly with this comment. They were in a difficult situation and made the best call the could.

moomoosaka · 29/08/2023 21:30

@SiousieSoo I agree. However if you were in need of respite for health reasons etc I can see why this would grate. I imagine they were just desperate to offload kids quick

JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam · 29/08/2023 21:32

YABU. Imagine you were one of the working parents in this scenario.

Hufflepods · 29/08/2023 21:33

It was a one off situation with extenuating circumstances, I wouldn’t blow it out of proportion.
How long has your DS been at this nursery? Unless they have a pattern of this happening then I would just move on. It’s annoying but you were off work and they refunded you the fee, it’s an inconvenience but not the end of the world.

Whitepaleness · 29/08/2023 21:34

Seems logical to me, if there was a working parent who couldnt work due to lack of spaces but you still sent your child I would be fuming. It’s a rubbish situation but they tried to do the best possible

Frodedendron · 29/08/2023 21:34

I feel for both you and the nursery - it's shit when childcare lets you down, but most nurseries are struggling with staffing and recruitment and I can see they were trying to do their best.

You're focusing on the wrong things anyway - I'd be concerned about the sustainability of the nursery if it's bad enough that they have to cancel sessions. As one off in August, okay maybe it's just bad luck, but I'd be questioning how much staff capacity they have and whether a plan b is needed.

Poppasocks · 29/08/2023 21:35

As a working parent I would be seriously unimpressed if my child was cancelled above someone on maternity leave who was a bit under the weather.

Cowlover89 · 29/08/2023 21:36

Yabu

Zanatdy · 29/08/2023 21:37

I think it’s fair enough in an emergency, if the parent is at home anyway it’s far less disruptive than a parent potentially missing a really important meeting / sale / shift at the hospital etc. Sure you wanted a day’s peace, but it’s not as inconvenient to you as others so it made sense

Aranas · 29/08/2023 21:37

Poppasocks · 29/08/2023 21:35

As a working parent I would be seriously unimpressed if my child was cancelled above someone on maternity leave who was a bit under the weather.

This.

Crimblecrumble1990 · 29/08/2023 21:43

My bigger one is also in nursery 2 days a week and it's so nice to have a day just looking after one so I see your frustration!

However since they called you, I presume if you did have something on you could have said 'no I have plans I cannot cancel today etc' and they would have had to figure something out. But you agreed and you were right too, it was an emergency for them. Their hands were tied really.

ActDottie · 29/08/2023 21:45

YABU. Ofc people who are actually home should be the first to be dropped in this instance. It makes logical sense. Those working would be completely screwed over.

Invisimamma · 29/08/2023 21:47

Poppasocks · 29/08/2023 21:35

As a working parent I would be seriously unimpressed if my child was cancelled above someone on maternity leave who was a bit under the weather.

Exactly. It's not great your place got cancelled but you're off on mat leave and you will be least disrupted by having your child at home for an extra day.
Nursery needed to make a quick decision and this seems a better solution than closing the room altogether. They prioritised working parents which is positive in my book.

jolene8 · 29/08/2023 21:49

Poppasocks · 29/08/2023 21:35

As a working parent I would be seriously unimpressed if my child was cancelled above someone on maternity leave who was a bit under the weather.

Yes I came here to say the same thing. I have no backup on nursery days and DP works away therefore would have to take the day off unpaid so no way do I think someone on maternity leave should be considered in the same way as parents who are actually at work.

You are being massively entitled.

TriedToMakeMeGoToRehab · 29/08/2023 21:56

I think they could have at least asked for volunteers first. I also don’t understand the idea of asking gov funded children first. Surely those parents are just as likely to be at work as any other parents? Or maybe I’ve misunderstood.

Lockdownmummy · 29/08/2023 21:57

It would annoy me but I understand the logic.

I'd be more worried about the long term future of the nursery tbh. It's such a tough time for them now. Are you planning to go back to work after mat leave? I'd be enquiring on other options/back ups tbh

JenWillsiam · 29/08/2023 21:58

YABU

Peanutbutter11 · 29/08/2023 21:59

This reply has been withdrawn

The OP has privacy concerns, so we've agreed to take this down now.

SD1978 · 29/08/2023 22:00

Seems pretty reasonable. I know you were hoping for a quiet day, but the effect on someone not able to go to work would have had larger ramifications, they assessed based on SAHP being the most likely to be able to have their kids for the day, still didn't have enough and then asked for volunteers. Unless this happens weekly, I'd say it's as fair as it can be as a system

OhcantthInkofaname · 29/08/2023 22:03

avocadotofu · 29/08/2023 21:30

I agree wholeheartedly with this comment. They were in a difficult situation and made the best call the could.

Show quote history

Best call for who?

PuttingDownRoots · 29/08/2023 22:12

If its just one day... OK.
But long term... they can't cancel thecsane children regularly. It will completely disrupt them.

However I used to arrange all my medical appointments (midwife etc)on DDs nursery days so I could attend them them without a toddler. It is a bit presumptuous to think maternity leave means childcare non essential.

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