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Original poster

I’m upset that my friend compared being gay to being a paedophile

35 replies

Mortificationnation · 29/08/2023 18:54

I was recently having lunch with a friend when I was updating her about my son who is gay. She was asking if he was dating anyone. She said that being gay was like being a paedophile, that it was just the way he was. I was so shocked and upset at what she said that I didn’t challenge her. I’m really annoyed with myself about this.

Am I being unreasonable to think that this is a horrible thing to say. I feel like I don’t want to be friends with someone who could say something like this. Am I being over sensitive. For clarity I have absolutely no issue with my son being gay.

OP posts:
squirrelslikenuts · 29/08/2023 21:37

There will always be those who speak without thinking. Depending on how long you've been friends, should inform your next move. You can remind her that criminals and paedophiles in particular come in every shade, race and gender. And that she has upset, both your son and yourself.
Or just don't bother. She's old enough to know better.

Castform · 29/08/2023 22:59

squirrelslikenuts · 29/08/2023 21:37

There will always be those who speak without thinking. Depending on how long you've been friends, should inform your next move. You can remind her that criminals and paedophiles in particular come in every shade, race and gender. And that she has upset, both your son and yourself.
Or just don't bother. She's old enough to know better.

I'm not sure how speaking without thinking could explain saying something so vile.

Zenithia · 11/09/2023 14:55

squirrelslikenuts · 29/08/2023 21:37

There will always be those who speak without thinking. Depending on how long you've been friends, should inform your next move. You can remind her that criminals and paedophiles in particular come in every shade, race and gender. And that she has upset, both your son and yourself.
Or just don't bother. She's old enough to know better.

I speak without thinking all the time, bit have never said anything like that.

Butchyrestingface · 11/09/2023 15:01

She said that being gay was like being a paedophile, you were just born that way.

Even if she believes that paedophilia is a sexual orientation people have no control over, I wonder why she didn't say "being gay is like being straight, you are just born that way"?

The fact that her mind immediately ran to a companion with paedophiles, suggests to me that she does think the two are analogous, or at least, more analogous than with being straight.

FarmGirl78 · 11/09/2023 15:23

Next time you see her please tell her that she's apparently like a paedophile too. Because she was born straight, and that just the way it is for her. She can't change that, it's just who she is.

I'm so angry for you. I hope you can feel confident enough to bring it up with her. She might have just somehow phrased herself very very badly (I'm trying to be generous and clutch at straws!) and she's absolutely mortified about how she expressed her thoughts.

If it wasn't a mistake and she digs her hole even bigger I think you should not feel in the slightest bit guilty about ditching her as a mate. What a merry thing to say.

Nanny0gg · 11/09/2023 15:32

Mortificationnation · 29/08/2023 18:54

I was recently having lunch with a friend when I was updating her about my son who is gay. She was asking if he was dating anyone. She said that being gay was like being a paedophile, that it was just the way he was. I was so shocked and upset at what she said that I didn’t challenge her. I’m really annoyed with myself about this.

Am I being unreasonable to think that this is a horrible thing to say. I feel like I don’t want to be friends with someone who could say something like this. Am I being over sensitive. For clarity I have absolutely no issue with my son being gay.

End of friendship for me

clashok · 12/09/2023 13:42

People still believe this? depressing.

LlynTegid · 12/09/2023 13:43

Former friend by now, I hope.

alessinwundland · 13/09/2023 21:55

YANBU, this is absolutely disgusting

SensibleWearForGeographyFieldTrip · 13/09/2023 22:00

Of course you're not being over sensitive, why would you even think that?
It's an utterly vile thing to say get rid of your friend, sorry absolutely no second chance on this one.

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