New job but pregnant - Wwyd?

[Volcanicice]

I’m 7 weeks pregnant after trying for around a year. As I thought pregnancy was off the cards for me, I started looking for a new job and have been in the interview process with a new company. They’ve made an offer which is about £300 per month more take home.

However in my current company I get very good enhanced maternity pay which is 5 months at my full salary, so quickly erases the pay rise. Ive also worked here around 5 years so know the job well, I’m finding pregnancy quite tiring and it’s a comfort to know my job inside out. The current company are very flexible around family and winning awards for this, whilst the new company are small and as far as I can work out they don’t have a HR department.

My husband is very supportive financially and due to a large inheritance we don’t really need the money to survive but I would like it as a confidence booster and to buy things like a better car etc.

My reasons for looking are wanting better pay, wanting a promotion and I perceive myself to be behind in my career for my age. This is partly a result of a sidestep career move I made last year which hasn’t really paid off and I’m now moving back to my old department where I’m likely to get a promotion in the next year.

What would you do? Would you turn down the new role? I feel the confidence boost of ‘I earn £xx’ vs how I currently feel about earning £yy is my main persuading factor at the moment.

Have you told the new place you're pregnant? If not then I doubt you're going to be popular if you start and then immediately tell them you're going off on maternity leave. If it was me, I would stay where you are.

Honestly I don't think I'd sacrifice 5 months of maternity pay + a job you know well for £300 a month extra when you go back to work.

As you've mentioned you're finding it tiring at the moment, couple that with starting a new job + learning a new role etc and it sounds like it'll be a lot to deal with. Obviously people do this often, but if it can be avoided I would! Your current company also sound better placed for future flexibility around your family vs. a small company with no HR.

I understand you're looking because you want better pay + a promotion, but is that worth the potential stress over the next 8 months?

Enhanced maternity pay, a good, fair and family friendly employer and knowing your job inside put are worth their weight in gold when pregnant.

You have the comfort and security if this whereas in a new role, you may have a probationary period, may not like the job, have no idea how decent an employer they are and don't know of the job will be as expected.

I wouldn't risk this for £3,600 a year.

Why don't you just have the discussion with the new employer and see what they might offer in these circumstances? It sounds like you wouldn't particularly mind staying put so you might as well have an honest conversation about what the options might be in the new role and then make an informed choice, where potentially you are happy with either outcome.

Being pregnant does not bar you from opportunity but you owe it to yourself to have the conversation at least otherwise you never know what might be possible.

Stay where you are.

It’s a no brainer. I’d stay where you are for the enhanced maternity pay and family friendly company. You can always look for another job when you go back to work.

I was offered a job with a £15k pay rise but turned it down because of my enhanced maternity cover at my current role. I was n exactly the same position as you and started looking as I though it would take longer than it had been - 2 weeks after the interview I found out I was pregnant and got the job!

Your enhanced maternity wipes out the gains of the new job and you say you'll get a promotion in your old job next year anyway. Don't move

Stay where you are until you are back from maternity leave. Then you can reassess where your career has got to. A supportive employer is always good but is vital as a parent of young children.

Congratulations! Stay in your current role. There are definitely more pros to it!

I'd stay where you are.

I worked for 2 small companies with no HR and they were not good with maternity pay and didn't like women having kids and leaving for 9 months. Only got the normal government SMP nothing enhanced. The first company I worked the boss (not alive anymore) would question women at interview about family plans and didn't like the managers hiring women. I didnt get pregnant there but other women that did found him very difficult to work alongside. 2nd company had no HR and made my life hell whilst pregnant and I quit as they were awful and basically pushed me out.

What if you don't make it past probation on the new job and you're left unemployed with a baby on the way?

I'd 100% stay put.

Staying put sounds like it might be the better option in the circumstances. I'd be inclined to be honest about the reasons with the new company - they might be relieved that you've not put them in the position of needing to get in maternity cover so soon, and might look favourably on you applying to them in the future.

Choose the new job if you are going to take minimum time off. It's where you want your career to go.
You can do this because of the support of your husband and because of your secure financial situation.

If you want to take a long maternity time then it is not fair to the new job unless you fully disclose your pregnancy.

I assume yopur husband will take some Paternity Leave and financially contribute to the childcare.

Definitely stay put. I was in the exact same situation as you back in 2019 and had secured a new job and then found out I was expecting after 3 years of trying. I'd been in my current job for 15 years at the time and maternity was shit but then I was hit with sickness and tiredness and there is noway I could have managed a new job on top of all that. Money really isn't everything especially if your secure as you are. Your time will come again. Be honest with the company and keep your feet firmly under the table and enjoy pregnancy x

Stay where you are as you won’t even get SMP as you are already pregnant before starting the new job so you’ll have to apply for maternity allowance.

I’d stick with the current job. Enhanced maternity pay and a place that values family ethics will be a huge plus.
look to change jobs once you’re back at work/ child(ren) are in school - or whatever works for you. But I’d take the benefit of having the flexibility to meet the demands of family life over a £300 a month pay rise in a new small company where you don’t know how they’ll react to pregnancy/working mums etc.

I'd stay put but I'd try and decline the new job offer on a good note. Tell them you have had a major change in home circumstances / or about to, and on reflection you feel that changing jobs right now will not allow you to perform to your best standards. They'll appreciate your honesty, and it leaves the door a little bit open for another time potentially. Ask them to keep your CV in mind and contact you again in the future if another position arises.

Have you told the new place you're pregnant? If not then I doubt you're going to be popular if you start and then immediately tell them you're going off on maternity leave. If it was me, I would stay where you are.

If you want to take a long maternity time then it is not fair to the new job unless you fully disclose your pregnancy.

Agh I can’t believe we’re still saying these things! OP - please don’t take these kind of comments as part of your consideration. Maternity leave is an employment right for exactly these reasons - you can not be discriminated against for starting a family just because you happen to be female and will therefore have to carry the child. If your husband wanted to change his job with a new baby on the way, no one would say a word.

If you’re going to take maternity leave it makes no financial difference to a company whether it is right when you start, or 5 years down the line. It actually usually works out cheaper for them if you take it sooner as they often will only pay SMP in the first year or so if employment. And it’s their job to work out the logistics of said leave, not yours.

Do which job feels right to you but do it for your own reasons, not what you think will benefit various companies.

I very much worried about this situation as I’m ttc and just accepted a new job. I would stay in your circs, the maternity leave and security in place outweighs the benefits / stress of the new job. Keep things positive and open with the new company, and maybe in a year or so there may be another position.

I think in your situation I would stay put, and feel encouraged by the fact I got the new job offer and I would likely be able to get another offer later on. I think if you have an enhanced policy then you probably have to go back to your current employer for a certain amount of time before you can move on again. So figure out what that time is and then say to yourself 'it's only another 10/12/15 months of this job and then I can move on.'

Aside from taking on a new job in pregnancy, it can be hard going back after mat leave too. Especially if your baby finds it hard to settle at childcare or still isn't sleeping through the night. Not saying these things to scare you, just that that can be the reality of having kids. Going back to a familiar role might not fill you with excitement, but could help the transition back to work be easier.

Everything @Hiphopopotamonster said! Also all the PPs who are making wild assumptions about how the new employer will behave towards a pregnant woman! This is not helpful. Until you have a conversation with the new employer about what it means and what is on offer you won't have all the information to choose. It might be the best thing to stay put but unless you have investigated the other option you won't know.

I hate to say it, but I'd stay.

Life is about to change dramatically for you and having your feet under the table in a job you know & are established in, with a sound maternity policy could be a godsend when it comes to return to work.

Nothing to stop you looking after the baby is in nursery, but £300 a month just wouldn't be incentive enough for me to give up job security & locked in maternity benefits at a time of massive change.

This may or may not be a factor for you, but I was actually four months pregnant when I started my current job. I'm due in October. I told them before I started - when I was offered, in fact.

They've been nothing but supportive and lovely. In my case, it was financially worth it (and I'd actually quit my previous job with nowhere to go, no regrets, it would have made for a horrible pregnancy).

But here's what might be annoying... Holy fuck am I bored right now. They, kindly and reasonably, reduced the expectations to fit the 5.5 months I'd be here before Mat Leave. With more solicitude than I'd expect, they stopped requiring me to attend the office from 20 weeks, without me asking. They've been profusely grateful that I proactively solved some issues before they came up.

And I am bored bored bored. I am on no long-term projects. I spent six weeks mostly being onboarded. I don't know my colleagues well enough to just natter. And although they like me and bring me in etc, it's just not the same.

There's worse situations to be in, but holy fuck it's annoying to be chained to my desk another six weeks with so little personal investment.