Mum refusing medication

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My mum has recently been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. She absolutely refuses to take any medication for it. She doesn't trust doctors and lies to me about what they have said to her (e.g. she said they told her she should stop a course of steroids as soon as she felt better and not finish them - she only took them for 2 days).

I'm just at a loss. Do I need to accept this as her belief that she does not want any medical intervention or do I need to try and gently encourage her?

She just says she doesn't want substances in her body, she looks up medications on Google and says that she doesn't trust them because of what people say.

She smokes so it's ironic because she's happy to have that in her body - I simply can't understand her view. She's only in her 60's so could have years of reasonable health left if her condition is managed properly. Her intelligence level is fairly low, I'm not saying that to be nasty but it is - I think she doesn't fully understand that what she reads online needs to be taken with a pinch of salt.

Also just FYI this isn't really a cultural thing - the rest of the famiily would normally follow medical advice. It's just her.

This is so hard, OP. My dad was the same. Refused to see doctors even when he clearly had prostate cancer symptoms. By the time he was diagnosed it was no longer treatable. Some people have incredible cognitive dissonance when it comes to their own health - my dad also smoked. All you can do is try to gently educate but ultimately accept that it is her choice. No matter how stupid you think it is.

If and when it gets worse, she will certainly want to take something, even if it's just for the pain.

I have it and at the moment it's out of control and the pain is intolerable. I'm on a cocktail of drugs and live on over 200 codeine per month and it's not touching the pain.

What makes you think that smoking causes rheumatoid arthritis? Did you read that online?

It's not strictly true it causes it, but my Rheumatologist has said that if you have RA and smoke, it can make it worse, especially around it being nodular.

Rheumatoid arthritis is just awful My 85yr old mum has had it for around 40 years, and she is in constant pain even with painkillers. She is on high dose medication for it and has been for years. Her hands are so twisted now she cannot hold a knife or fork.

I can guarantee once the pain gets really bad for your mum she will start to take the medication. The longer she leaves it, the more damage she could be doing to her body. Medication has come a long way since my mum was first diagnosed, so it really is worth taking. But only your mum can decide if and when she does that.

I went through some very similar with my mother in the last couple of months. Wouldn't seek help and buried her head in the sand. It was cancer and now untreatable.

I told the consultant how she refused to seek help and she said she's an adult, it's her body, she made her choice.

It's hard but you have to respect her wishes.

She has the absolute right to refuse treatment and you need to accept her choice.

I’ve got one of these - she has osteoarthritis and it sounds like heart issues (she is vague on what the Dr said) and won’t take anything. Garlic tablets cure everything apparently. She’s always been like this though - no vax for me as a kid, she even binned her anti-biotics and painkillers when she had a C-section with me. No painkillers despite walking being painful. She will go on her own terms and tbh it’s her choice - she has capacity. I’m done wasting my energy trying to persuade her!

My DP came off his arthritis painkillers because of the breathing issues they were causing. I'd only take steroids as a last resort because of my experiences of them. If she is overweight could you join in looking at natural ways, such as exercise, what to eat and supplements that she would take? If you can still exercise it does wonders. The thing with people who had belief systems in shamans etc, they didn't abuse their bodies in the way we do. Rather then preach at her, when she does complain perhaps go down the natural suggestion route. There's nothing wrong with eventually saying "I don't want to listen if you won't do anything to help yourself". If she has capacity, she has autonomy over her body, even if you judge her intelligence to be low. I've seen medication refusal from all sorts of people. You've just got to remind yourself that you like being in charge of your own body, so even a parent has the same rights.

Thanks everyone. I do of course understand the need for bodily autonomy and absolutely want her to have control and will respect her wishes at the end of the day. I just think she is a bit misinformed and in denial.

She is so stubborn that it seems like there's little chance changing her mind until it's too late. I can just see her hurtling towards a world of pain which could be reduced/ prevented, and when it hits it will be too late and she will have regrets.

I fear you're right @OHVanessaShanessaJenkins and I probably just need to prepare for a rough ride. I'm dreading it :(

Smoking is a well known risk factor for RA.