AIBU to wish that other children's mums would not dish out chocolate to my DD at school?

[BlueCornflower]

My 4 year old came home from school with a creme egg yesterday as one of the mums of the class wanted to give all the children a 'pre-Easter' present. (It was February!). I know it was a kind gesture but I do feel annoyed that someone else can give my child something which I wouldn't acually have given her myself unless it was a very special treat. I could hardly tell her she couldn't have it. I'm not REALLY annoyed by it and wouldn't have minded if it was this child's birthday but I just wish other parents wouldn't do this. AIBU?

[Joolyjoolyjoo]

If cadbury's don't care....Cream Eggs have been in the shops since January! (which doesn't make it right, but you get to accepting it!) Not like the old days, when you ONLY got them at Easter- much better

[McDreamy]

I would much prefer they had choc than a handful of sweets.

[BlueCornflower]

MsHW - I guess my issue is more that it's someone else giving my child something that I wouldn't choose to give them. Last time she was given chocolate, we did keep it until later and she was very good about that, (and I do buy her (and me!)chocolate occasionally) so it's not the chocolate so much as the principle of someone assuming they can give her whatever they want. That probably just sounds like I am ungrateful and I'm not - I do appreciate her kindness; it's just the principle of it.

[wheresthehamster]

It's part of school life. Children enjoy giving out sweets on their birthday, return from holiday, Chinese New Year whatever. Sweets are cheap and exciting to hand out. I don't think the gift (or child!) would be appreciated if it was a piece of fruit. On average it will be once a week. Not a big deal really although some previous threads on the subject have got a bit heated

[rantinghousewife]

If all that you ever have to worry about is someone giving her sweets without your permission, you will be doing very well indeed.
Trust me when she's old enough to go to the shops by herself, she'll be buying all sorts of unapproved things, cans of coke, toffee, the lot.

[Joolyjoolyjoo]

Just realised, I probably wouldn't be too bothered about someone giving my kids a sweet, but get livid when people feed my dogs biscuits when we are out!! Is that weird??

[Judy1234]

It should never be par of school life. Sugar if very addictive and bad for children. So many mothers seem happy to dole it out left right and centre. If you have 25 children in a class that's 25 birthdays and 25 days when chocoalte might come into school plus all the other excuses and using it as a reward is bad too. Sugar is a bit like alcohol to alcoholics - you can't have just a bit for those people who are sensitive to it. It's pushed wherever you go like cocaine even on mumsnet with Nutella ads and I see Nutella are fighting the ASA over their claims the product is healthy....

[wheresthehamster]

But if everyone asked each parent each time they wanted to give the children something the world would grind to a halt. Much better to receive gratefully then discard later if you don't want it. I would rather people be generous than feel they shouldn't incase one or two people don't like it.

[BlueCornflower]

rhw - no, not cans of coke or toffee - surely not!!!

[Nina2]

Why don't I live in a world where people hand out cream aggs willy-nilly?

(stamps foot in a Veruca Salt type way)

Maybe your child could bring the sweets home to eat after tea as a compromise.

[rantinghousewife]

. Yep sorry!

[wheresthehamster]

Going on 25 - 30 chocolate days per school year that means about 250 days that aren't.
That doesn't seem enough to me

[rantinghousewife]

Actually I don't bother buying in sweets and stuff, just leave it to other people. Much cheaper that way.

[Milliways]

At my last office, on the lst day before Easter, EVERYONE's pigeon hole had a BIG bag of mini eggs left in it

[JodieG1]

Who cares really. There are lots of things worse than a bit of sugar and I'm sure most children aren't "addicted" to it. I'd rather let my children have chocolate now and again than be over controlling. There really are better things to worry about.

[JulesJules]

I'm with Cap - can't really get worked up over this one, I'd be more annoyed about Easter treats being given out 3 weeks early. And creme eggs - yum. And I can't stand those people who say smugly Oh, we don't allow the children to have sweets, thereby virtually forcing the poor things to mainline sugar behind the bikesheds. It isn't practical to consult with every parent every time someone has a birthday, etc. Also, I would just like to say JooleyJooleyJoo what a fab name

[JulesJules]

Which I spelt wrong!! Sorry JJJ!

[Joolyjoolyjoo]

Hey, that's ok Are we sisters?

[Judy1234]

Depends if you have children who react badly to sugar. I think it's good my children's school doesn't allow packed lunches and there are no machines with chocolate in and sweets and biscuits are banned for snacks but that still doesn't stop all this taking in of sweets on birthdays. It's the association of sugar as reward which is the bad thing.

[BumperliciousNeedsaGlassofWine]

DD to young to be at school so perhaps not qualified to comment - I'm gonna anyway though

I don't think I'd mind the chocolate occasionally, but a "pre-easter treat" seems a bit random. I would rather DD saw chocolate as for a special occasion/treat.

And I would rather is was a Lindt Bunny and given directly to me [drool]

Maybe we should have a poll to find the truth behind he myth of whether children deprived of chocolate binge on it later:

I'll start - I don't remember chocolate being rationed in our house, and I worked in a sweet shop from the age of 14 and regularly would eat my weight in chocolate bars and became a chubby teen. I don't eat chocolate very often now but I am the sort of person that Xenia described in that once I start I can't stop!

[jenkel]

Just to back up what MsHighwater said, whilist growing up a friend of mine wasnt allowed sweets of any sort and I was limited to the amount of sweets I had. It was always my friend who gorged herself silly on sweets at birthday parties and even smuggled them into her pockets, it was actually embarrassing.

[rantinghousewife]

I am a bit perplexed how a child would see anothers birthday as a reward!
I really can't get excited about it, tbh, my parents brought me up to understand that chocolate was something that wasn't forbidden but, that you didn't eat all day, every day. Simple really.
I rather like that other parents can be bothered to buy chocolate for my child.

[blueshoes]

does not bother me at all. The irony of sweets being doled out as of course is that my dd does not associate it with rewards or special occasions. Very often, the biscuits she makes at nursery and brings home is half eaten or just left there. She eats healthily at school generally. I don't even mind that the breakfast club gives cocopops on request, which dd would not necessarily go for over rice crispies or marmite toast.

If she wants a sweetie every now and then, she can have it. Very lithe.

[Joolyjoolyjoo]

Bluecornflower, I think the answer you want to hear is: Eat it yourself!! thereby saving your lo from the saturated fats and sugar (and getting a yummy cream egg yourself, through no fault of your own!) Just tell your dd the Easter Bunny wanted it back for a little girl who is very poor, hungry etc...

[SlightlyMadSecretSoundWinner]

Our school (and nursery) policy on this is that any food brought in is not consumed at school/nursery but taken home so that the parents can actually decide if it is appropriate for their child - althouugh in practice how do you take chocolate off a child unless it is on medical grounds???

What does piss me off is the parent that daily gives her child a treat in teh playground after school (from crisps to sweets to a whole packet of biscuits). I then feel guilty when DTDs wonder why they don't have a treat and guilty when the other child shares them out but we never take anything in return.