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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to expect DP to hoover sometimes even though they are my dogs?

21 replies

PennyMans · 28/08/2023 07:14

Hello, me and DP have been living together around 9 months now. He has a Cockapoo, which he picked because he doesn't shed and I have a Jack Russell and Dachshund and they obviously do shed a bit, I normally hoover a few times a day, just to keep on top of it. DP hasn't hoovered once since we have lived together and if he notices a particularly bad spot of hair, he will usually alert me and let me know, so I go and get the hoover out and I admit, a few time I have definitely come back at him with the "if you don't want it there, you hoover it up" and he gets really annoyed and tells me how he picked a Cockapoo for this reason, I explained how he would have had to hoover sometimes, even with a Cockapoo... as hoovering isn't a job that just people with dogs have to do. He's always sarcastic about how he knows that because he lived with just him before we moved in together and hoovered then. I have explained that I don't mind doing the most of the hoovering and I am used to that (from living with them before) but that if there are extra spots you're not satisfied with, he needs to then chip in and hoover a bit. Don't get me wrong, he does help with other household chores (I could not have even been attracted to someone who didn't comprehend how to do household stuff) as he has lived alone. Am I supposed to just accept that I need to do the hoovering in this case, as it is mainly my dogs leaving the hair? Or is it perfectly reasonable to expect him to do a bit?

OP posts:
EinyLinky · 28/08/2023 07:34

I think he's unreasonable to point out hair and basically doing that to get you to hoover it... if he's unhappy with the few hoovers you've done already, then there's no reason he can't pick up and do it for the extra bits. I would understand not splitting the hoovering 50/50 in this case, but that's not what you're asking for. Therefore, he's unreasonable

Robotalkingrubbish · 28/08/2023 07:36

He’s an arse. Red flag I’m afraid @PennyMans .

Acornsoup · 28/08/2023 07:38

Red flags - imagine this man with DC. And you are already hoovering a few times a day!!! 🚩

primoseyellow · 28/08/2023 07:41

Im sorry I just can't imagine being with someone who points out things like that.
What if you said to him every time he used kitchen sink, there's some drops of water can you wipe them up please.
It's just beyond petty and ridiculous, in the grand scheme of things does it really matter. He is your partner your biggest supporter and this is what he chooses to say to you?

skilpadde · 28/08/2023 07:41

Did he move in with you?

A man who'd notice dog hair that needs vacuumed and then point it out to his DP so she can vacuum for the nth time that day, rather than just bloody do it himself, sounds like a bit of a cocklodging wanker.

It won't get better OP.

pasturesgreen · 28/08/2023 07:42

He lives there, he shares the hoovering.

Petty, passive aggressive arse. If he hoovered when he lived alone, he bloody well knows he's in the wrong!

PricklyWhenWet · 28/08/2023 07:43

That just sounds really irritating @PennyMans and would put me right off. Does he just ‘help’ with household chores or does he do 50%? Presumably he vacuumed when he lived on his own. Buy a good quality cordless to make it easy (recommend the Dyson v15) and if it’s still more than he can manage then I’d give the future some serious thought.

Nannyfannybanny · 28/08/2023 07:44

Mumsnet has an obsession with "hoovering"!!!! I have always had long hair dogs, mainly border collies,3 at one point. I am really fussy, and have never vacuumed more than once a day. If I'm brutally honest,more like 5 times a week,but I make sure its under the beds and sofas as well. My DHS had a long haired daxy she didn't shed much. My neighbours have JRT, they don't shed much either.I had a Phalane, almost 18 when PTS this January, did lots of research, says, they don't shed, they have hair, not fur,no oil or undercoat. Clumps used to come off. How often are you grooming? Do it outside,bit of water spray or a fancy coat conditioner.

Sarvanga38 · 28/08/2023 07:44

You hoover a few times a DAY? You both need to get out more …

Nannyfannybanny · 28/08/2023 07:45

Oh,we sometimes vacuum the dogs, forgot to mention that.

Original poster
PennyMans · 28/08/2023 07:45

skilpadde · 28/08/2023 07:41

Did he move in with you?

A man who'd notice dog hair that needs vacuumed and then point it out to his DP so she can vacuum for the nth time that day, rather than just bloody do it himself, sounds like a bit of a cocklodging wanker.

It won't get better OP.

We moved into a new place, which is his as he put the deposit down, maybe I should have included that info. However, I obviously go 50/50 (apart from on the mortgage)

OP posts:
Original poster
PennyMans · 28/08/2023 07:47

Sarvanga38 · 28/08/2023 07:44

You hoover a few times a DAY? You both need to get out more …

Well, yes... but I don't mean I go around the whole place with a hoover 3 times a day, I do say the living room in one go and then just quickly go around upstairs as the second and then maybe around the living room again. We get out plenty, we have 3 dogs! Grin

OP posts:
DuploTrain · 28/08/2023 07:48

I can confirm that people without dogs do indeed hoover. He’s being a dick.

sanityisamyth · 28/08/2023 07:49

Robot vacuum cleaner is your friend! Can be programmed to go out several times a day!

Original poster
PennyMans · 28/08/2023 07:49

Nannyfannybanny · 28/08/2023 07:44

Mumsnet has an obsession with "hoovering"!!!! I have always had long hair dogs, mainly border collies,3 at one point. I am really fussy, and have never vacuumed more than once a day. If I'm brutally honest,more like 5 times a week,but I make sure its under the beds and sofas as well. My DHS had a long haired daxy she didn't shed much. My neighbours have JRT, they don't shed much either.I had a Phalane, almost 18 when PTS this January, did lots of research, says, they don't shed, they have hair, not fur,no oil or undercoat. Clumps used to come off. How often are you grooming? Do it outside,bit of water spray or a fancy coat conditioner.

I think I might have the wrong brush? I have tried a few and none get hair off their coats... but they do drop a lot of stray hairs and we have light wood flooring with dark coloured fur and it looks very obvious

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 28/08/2023 07:52

Why are you using the term 'helping' when it comes to the housework? Did you agree to do it all in return for free lodgings?

BanditsOnTheHorizon · 28/08/2023 07:58

Of course he's BU. Does he relays that even people without dogs have to Hoover

EinyLinky · 28/08/2023 08:11

See, I think people are actually being a bit unreasonable to your DP? He's doing a decent share of the housework it seems, it's just the hoovering he isn't keen on because of the hair, which tbf, he did get a Cockapoo so he could avoid the hair thing? He's been an ass about pointing hair out and expecting you to do it, absolutely, but I wouldn't say he's a walking red flag, especially if you're happy with everything else

Nannyfannybanny · 28/08/2023 09:38

Specific brushes for specific breeds.brush against the coat first,then brush with your hand,then the brush. I have an open plan bungalow,dogs allowed everywhere. But "hoovering", instead of vacuuming, just,NO! I have a Shark Pet corded, Dyson hand held, for in-between...dogs get vaccumed with that one.

Clefable · 28/08/2023 09:41

It's very petty, isn't it?

Definitely get a robot hoover though, we have two of them and they are worked relentlessly Grin

BillaBongGirl · 28/08/2023 09:41

If you have to do all the hoovering because your dogs leave the most hair then he has to always clean all the toilets because man shit bigger.

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