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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is unreasonable behaviour

2 replies

Streaky1 · 28/08/2023 07:07

Have I been unreasonable or has he?
Me and my partner split 2 weeks ago and I'm trying to get my head around it all.
Together 5 and a half years then his ex who he has 3 children with became single for the first time in our relationship, this is where the problems started, her behaviour changed.
Once when picking the kids up she was crying and using him as a bit of support, OK fair enough she was upset. Then she started phoning and texting more often, to the point where it was constant and almost daily. It was his daughters 16th birthday and he had to attend the meal to pay half the bill at the end, I wasn't well so couldn't go, which resulted in him being sat with his ex for an hour having a drink going out for smokes and her telling him all about her relationship problems.
Fast forward 3 months and there's been more and more things, her asking him to go halves on birthday presents together, which is something me and him have always done together, her buying him birthday and father's day presents from the kids, something I have always done. They had a picture taken of the 5 of them altogether at daughters prom as a family, which apparently daughter wanted and I do understand would of been hard to get out of. Buying her food when she was skint, her asking him to look into holiday bookings for her, basically all things that haven't happened in the 5 years previously. All in all I've ended up feeling quite pushed out of the family that I feel I have put a lot of effort into being a part of and have found it all quite hard to deal with, after a few rows we did have a really good chat and I thought we'd resolved it.
She then asked him to go round and fix his daughters bedroom door which he did, resulting in another row and us splitting up.
Right now it doesn't look like he wants to resolve things and seems very much done with our relationship, I'm struggling with this as I how do you go from supposedly loving someone to 2 weeks later not even wanting to give them the time of day for even a conversation? Since we split he has also gone for a meal for his sons birthday, just the 5 of them together in the same car, which I have to say I found quite hurtful.
Would other people struggle with the ex mustling in like this or have I been unreasonable? I felt like he should have put some boundaries in place with her.

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 28/08/2023 07:10

Sounds like you have been used as a fill in while waiting for her to be available again. She’ll soon get fed up of him, for the reasons they split before, and he’ll come back begging.

Streaky1 · 28/08/2023 07:16

Yes possibly, he did dump her though, initially it didn't feel like he wanted to be back with her but I am starting to wonder.

OP posts:
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