To think DH should either talk to me or tell me he’s not going to?

[Strawpollplease]

Obviously BIG back story but I am going mad here and want to get a quick straw poll. On holiday, haven’t really chatted to DH all day (kids, family, in pool, making food etc). Sat down for a drink just the two of us this evening while someone else cooking dinner. On terrace, opposite each other. DH gets out his book and starts reading without saying a word. AIBU to think that a “normal” thing to do would either be to engage, or to reference that he’s not (by saying something like “oh I just feel like reading my book”?). Reading this back makes me think that I am indeed going mad, and clearly the fact that I’m posting this means all is not well, but I would just value a little bit of perspective from you all.

Can you afford to divorce?

Did you speak to him?

What has your DH been doing all day? It sounds like he's being childish and in a huff because you've been busy and not paying him attention all day - without realizing that he could have helped. Maybe I'm projecting but yes OP it is rude.

Do you mean he’s not answering you if you talk?

Or just that he didn’t announce his intention to read? Because I don’t know that I would tbh.

I'd get a book out without asking/telling DH. If we're on holiday and have been busy with the children all day then it's nice to have some peace to read a book.

It seems like the book situation is not the real issue.

When you say you've not really spoken all day, is it that he's not speaking to you and being moody, or that you've been engaging with each other but not in the "let's sit down the two of us and have a chat" way? If it's the former then he's being an arse, but if it's the second then I don't think he's automatically unreasonable. He does need to make time to have adult conversation time if that's something you value though.

Do you announce everything you are just about to do, just before you do it?

'I feel like using on my phone'

'I'm just going to do the laundry'

I'm a bit confused by this. Unless there is something else going on that you haven't said?

Have you spoken to him about it?

It wouldn’t cross my mind to ask someone for permission to read.

did you start talking to him while you where sat there?

If you haven't spoken to him all day, was his silence a response to that.

We need more contact here.

By not speaking do you mean he's talked to no one?

He hasn't spoke to you solely?

He does or doesn't answer if you or anyone speaks to him?

The getting out a book to read in itself doesn't seem terrible to me. But I'm someone who gets people fatigue and so after a whole day around people reading quietly is how I cope - especially if I'm then expected to make dinner conversation. And I wouldn't announce it because me not chatting would t surprise anyone

Without the context it's really hard to huddle if HIBU.

This is slightly odd. Did you not say 'are you engrossed in the book or can we chat/play cards/go for a stroll.' Offer to make a drink? Talk to him?

Holidays are for relaxing - doing things that are not the norm. Just make sure he is not ignoring you for some reason, then relax in your own way.

I imagine you must know if there’s a bad atmosphere or not?

You state in your post that there is a back story so I would say it depends on what that is….

I think it is a normal thing to do, I'd definitely get out a book in that situation and I wouldn't say "I'm reading a book" as that's quite obvious. If my DH wanted to chat he would just start doing so. I'm right there after all.

He's on holiday and picked up a book to read. I'm really not seeing the issue

You have a tongue ...just say please put the book down and have some 'us ' time.

Men are simple folk. They need it. spelling out sometimes

He has probably thought. Great. No kids , can read my book in peace

I am not seeing the issue

Agreed, what an utterly baffling grievance 😂😂

Obviously BIG back story
This is the issue
Not the book