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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Break up & pregnancy

6 replies

Roset199 · 27/08/2023 16:09

I’m 29 weeks pregnant and recently the baby’s dad has decided he wants nothing to do with me. We’ve been together for about a year and a half, he has two sons from a separate relationship and I have two daughters so pregnant with first child together. Everything was going extremely well until he become off one day and I told him I’d leave him too it as I didn’t want any dramas. A few days passed and I still hadn’t heard anything from him (we don’t live together) at this point I just thought he was being off. I messaged and asked what was going on and he replied ‘you wanted a reaction the other day and was being weird so I’ve left you to it’ he then went on to say we should just give each other space etc.
A few more messages were exchanged and he started digging about my past relationship with my children’s dad and making comments looking for a reaction. Which I stupidly gave him (hormonal and tired). I said some not nice things and told him I wouldn’t rely on him physically or financially when baby was here. He told me I can’t take back words and he wanted nothing to do with me moving forward.
He suffers with mental health and once he’s annoyed you can’t get him out the mood until he’s ready. A week later I re messaged apologising and updating him on the pregnancy and that we need to put a plan in place for when she arrives and meet a middle ground.
He response was very much he owes me nothing, doesn’t want to talk about anything and doesn’t have too, I’ve taken away his excitement about baby and used her as a weapon???? (I haven’t once said he couldn’t see her or have a relationship with her just I wouldn’t rely on him if he’s going to be an idiot) and told me to do what I want and brought up court and if it comes to it he will deal with it as he’s saved every message.

This guy means the world to me and I’m really struggling with letting go. He knows I put my feelings aside to put a plan in place for our baby girl but he’s completely shut me off. Any advice?

OP posts:
Biscuitsandgravyforyou · 27/08/2023 16:11

Stop chasing him. This isn’t a man you want to be raising a baby with. Let him contact you if he wants information. He presumably knows your due date? And definitely don’t put him on the birth certificate

TomatoSandwiches · 27/08/2023 16:12

He means the world to you? Why? He sounds abusive and immature, I'd crack on without him and get CM to send him notice when baby arrives, your children don't need someone like that around at all, neither do you btw.

towriteyoumustlive · 27/08/2023 16:21

He means the world to you? But you've only known him 18 months so hardly even beyond the new relationship honeymoon period!

Was the baby planned? He certainly doesn't sound like he is ready to be a dad (again) or even wanting to.

Roset199 · 27/08/2023 16:24

.

OP posts:
Roset199 · 27/08/2023 16:26

Yes he knows my due date. I think he’ll try and make a reappearance closer to the date which is hurtful

OP posts:
Roset199 · 27/08/2023 16:28

towriteyoumustlive · 27/08/2023 16:21

He means the world to you? But you've only known him 18 months so hardly even beyond the new relationship honeymoon period!

Was the baby planned? He certainly doesn't sound like he is ready to be a dad (again) or even wanting to.

I went through a lot of crap with my daughters children, cheated on whilst 8 weeks pregnant. This man has healed me in ways you couldn’t imagine but since falling pregnant (not planned and was on contraception) he’s completely changed.
I was unsure about continuing the pregnancy but he reassured me no matter what he’d be there every step of the way despite what happened between me & him.
He was excited to become a dad again, especially so a baby girl. He is amazing and consistent with his sons. So the fact I’ve been left like this and he won’t even communicate it’s nothing but a shock to the system.

OP posts:
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