AIBU: Elderly parents do not care about their impact on the environment

[Scientistathome]

My elderly parents acknowledge (in passing) that the human impact on the planet is destructive and that their family's future could be jeopardized.
However, they refuse to do anything about it. They burn gas and electricity in summer to keep warm (extra jumper? Nooo!), Will not Install solar panels (they can afford it), take unnecessary flights, ... the list goes on.
They flaty refuse to change any habits despite that they know they should and could.
I get quite mad with them!
AIBU?
I know it is their choice, not mine but it affects all of us (their grandchildren are quite disgusted with them).
Are other people's parents like this?
(I know that some parents cannot afford eco-friendly choices like solar panels)

This. Who made you chief of police (elderly parents branch) OP? And are the grandchildren busily using all their tech. equipment whilst expressing their 'disgust' at their grandparents? What equipment do YOU use - have a dishwasher, tumble dryer, drive a Chelsea tractor? (don't tell us...."but I have to have these, because.....yada, yada)? What an unpleasant family you sound, dictatorial and smug - and kudos to the parents for ignoring the Dictatorship Family. Listen to yourself: can you not see that it's partly due to the 'holier than thou' attitude of people like you and others, (including members of the Royal Family who fly at the drop of a hat and presumably heat their many different residences) that effectively deters others from taking environmental factors seriously?

I bet you're popular at parties, too, deciding who can have another canape?....And solar panels - stick 'em.

Yes we have considered solar panels but there is a big cost to the planet in producing them. Given how our roof sits the cost to the planet might be for little benefit.

I think your issue with your parents runs much deeper than environmental reasons.

If my teenage DCs starting lecturing my elderly in-laws I would be more worried about how I had brought them up. It is absolutely this attitude of ‘re-education and superiority’ that puts people off.
My in-laws are in their 80s & 90s, they may not have solar panels but they eat every bit of food they buy, so no food waste there, they often put jumpers on when it’s cold instead of the heating (because of the cost). They don’t go on foreign holidays, have 1 car they use rarely as they normally get the bus, they never buy new clothes, don’t have a smartphone but they aren’t trying to save the planet, that’s just how they live.
My teenager DD (and lots of her friends) consume so much more in every way than my elderly in-laws. Do your bit if you want to but don’t lecture your parents as in the big scheme of things it will make zero difference but just ruin your relationship.

I think the OP is getting a hard time. I know people who don't give a flying fuck about the state of the planet. They make absolutely no effort to do anything to minimise their impact on the earth. They don't give a fuck because they feel it doesn't affect them. It's a horrible attitude and makes me dislike them.

Nobody is perfect but most people want to at least try to minimise their negative impact on the world. I don't think it's wrong to feel a bit sad or angry that your own family don't, regardless of their age.

As for the constantly, constantly trotted out 'having a child is the worst thing for the planet' as though it's a gotcha about absolutely anything and everything. Drives me crazy on MN. It's so much more complex.

As for cars, no need in 99% of cases for an SUV or 4x4, you are allowed and should walk with your children to and from school in the majority of cases (unless one of you has a disability [just get up in the morning on time]).

If your parents could only bring themselves to install solar panels and wear jumpers, that would surely stop the ice from melting and rivers from flooding. Shame on them.

I am 61. I grew up in a time when everyone walked or cycled to school and often to work. My mother didn't have a washing machine. Everything was cooked from scratch and meat, bread and greengroceries bought from small independent shops supplied by local growers . Milk was delivered. Hardly any plastic packaging. I can remember frost on the inside of windows in the winter. No central heating. We never went abroad. No landline till I went to university. They still have the same bedroom suite and dining room furniture they had when they married, almost 65 years ago. I suspect your parents were similar in many ways and I feel sorry for them, having such judgemental grandchildren.

Now my parents, in their early 90s, are more comfortable financially and they could have their heating turned up to 30C every day if they liked, but they don't because the habit of frugality is hardwired. Cold air is bad for elderly people, by the way, as it is for tiny babies.

Poor sods. Leave em alone

Yeah, this!!! ^ How horribly judgmental and insufferable you sound @Scientistathome . How dare you decide that your 'elderly' parents shouldn't take flights, and go on holiday abroad? I bet they've worked hard for 40 or 50 years or more, and raised a family - including YOU, and given you what YOU want, and they deserve to enjoy their winter years.

Also, I have seen plenty of threads on here where people in their 30s, 40s, and 50s have got the bloody heating on in August - as 'its a bit chilly...' Yeah - stick in a cardigan on! Older people (elderly especially) are more likely to NOT put the heating on !!!

But hey, let's bash the elderly. It's great fun, isn't it??!!! As this poster said, it's this kind of hectoring and attacking people that makes people NOT listen. I bet you attack them for their political views as well, as they don't match yours, so they're 'wrong' - probably call them all sorts of names for that! And yes, most people can't afford solar panels (or an electric car like a lot of people expect us to buy.) Get a grip. Mind your own business.

@Scientistathome

Personally, I expect less from younger generations as they have less money to pay for lifestyle changes (DS has had same phone for many years!). I feel that the burden of change should fall on older generations (including myself) as they often have more resources with which to do it.

And what a sweeping generalisation to assume all 'OLD' people are rich. Many of them haven't got a pot to piss in, and DON'T have gold plated pensions, and massive endowments they cashed in, and multiple properties/villa in Spain etc...

Also, plenty of 'YOUNG' people have lots of surplus cash, not all of them are POOR. I know plenty who change their mobile phone every year, change their car every 2-3 years, have a holiday abroad every year, and have a house full of expensive tech. So not all 'old' people are rich, and not all 'young' people are poor!

You sound very ignorant and narrow minded. And RUDE.

I think the op is getting a "hard time" because she's spouting sanctimonious clap trap and has rude children, Mumsnetters don't tolerate that nonsense very well!

You know that everything we do is a drop in the ocean right. The people that need to make changes are super rich (private jets etc) and large corporations.

My parents did take flights in their 70s and early 80s. But here's the thing. They didn't fly at all until in their forties and thereafter sparingly. I didn't begrudge their holidays in their final years.

Likewise they had far fewer consumer goods than me and my children.

Once in their 80s they they were so frail and infirm that sticking a jumper on wouldn't have cut it.

Maybe OPs parents are environmental vandals. But I see another ageist thread here

Why is their age relevant?

It does NOT have excellent public transport if you live rurally

Many villages have no bus service at all, not even one day a week.

It may please you to think you're in an 'eco bubble', but you've had multiple children, which is by far the worst thing you can do to the planet, you drive, consume, buy plastic etc just like everyone else. 😄

Come on, Cosycover, it was BOUND to have been due to the oldies - keep up now, do....😄

Meanwhile, back at the home of the Hectoring Family, mum is scrubbing her washing on a stone and the disgusting - oops, sorry - 'disgusted' kids are making their own computer from an empty cornflake packet and two rubber bands.... Hang on a minute: the Hectoring parents had KIDS!!! More humans to pollute the planet.....naughty, naughty.

I understand you want to do your best for the environment, most of us do, but from your original post I would be concerned you are in danger of alienating your kids from their grandparents... disgusted is a harsh word.
Surely they have other attributes to be uoheld and admired?

It’s the emotions that underlie it all isn’t it? It is the attitude that underlies their lack of action. Their not giving a fuck, whether they intend it or not, is giving a message that they don’t care about the welfare of your children and their peers, who will be picking up the pieces.

This. Op has more than one child, not very eco-friendly.

what ????

So you do ABSOLUTELY everything you can to 'save the planet' do you?

I was born in the late 70s. From as long as I remember we took glass to the bottle bank.They've been around for literally decades! Most bread, meat, fish or fruit and veg came from the bakers, butchers, fishmonger etc so had less packaging. We wore hand me down clothes and shopped at charity shops (although not for everything)

My parents hardly ever bought new paper, my dad gave us old wallpaper or scrap paper from work to draw on. Their shed was full of off cuts of wood that they could use for other stuff.
We had 1 car for the household and 1 TV. Since my mum didn't drive we walked, cycled or used public transport for most weekday journeys and I didn't go abroad until I paid for it myself when I was a late teen.

When global businesses have done everything they reasonably could to reduce their environmental impact, then I will stop taking my one flight a year, (we don't have a car as we live in a city) use washable bog roll and sanitary products and put ugly panels on my house. Until then, even if every person/household did as you suggested OP, it would add up to a tsp in 30 litre bucket. You sound like a virtue signalling twat. If I were your parents I'd change my will.