AIBU: Elderly parents do not care about their impact on the environment

[Scientistathome]

My elderly parents acknowledge (in passing) that the human impact on the planet is destructive and that their family's future could be jeopardized.
However, they refuse to do anything about it. They burn gas and electricity in summer to keep warm (extra jumper? Nooo!), Will not Install solar panels (they can afford it), take unnecessary flights, ... the list goes on.
They flaty refuse to change any habits despite that they know they should and could.
I get quite mad with them!
AIBU?
I know it is their choice, not mine but it affects all of us (their grandchildren are quite disgusted with them).
Are other people's parents like this?
(I know that some parents cannot afford eco-friendly choices like solar panels)

😂😂

Not even remotely the same 😄

😂😂

I’m surprised at the tenor of the responses here. I think @Scientistathome has lost perspective a bit, but I think there’s an underlying defensiveness and therefore hostility in the replies.

We all know that the window of time in which to act so that the planet remains habitable. That’s a fact.

Yes, our individual actions are a drop in the ocean, but our societies as we have constructed them are effective death cults in terms of sustainability now. It’s a chicken and egg thing: our governments represent us and they won’t change unless we do.

I love meat, and travel, and nice new stuff, but I’m inspired by people I know who’ve not flown in over 10 years, and repair DLL their stuff

Problem is that humans naturally seek status, and at the moment the very high status individuals are the ones living like total arseholes.

We’re never going to get it exactly right as we move from one form of civilisation to another - that’s the best case scenario - and @Scientistathome is getting unfair pelters imv.

Tbf I get your point OP. My dad is so fond of saying how frightening it is, global warming, then in the next breath how he and mum are going shopping for "holiday clothes" because they have a week booked in Cornwall. Oh and the food waste is astronomical.

But I know, in some way, we're all hypocrites as I have kids and loads of pets but buy Ecover.

It's rubbish that I grew up privileged. I was the poor one at school, that's for sure. No-one wanted to come to our house after school because we still had black and white TV in the mid-80s while everyone else had colour in their homes.

It doesn't matter if leaded petrol was all there was. It's what they were spreading around the place. Not that unleaded doesn't have it's own problems.

I do wish they built appliances like they did back then. They really lasted rather than all the waste we have now. I usually just replace mine when they break down after a few years because it's cheaper than fixing them often.

China is reducing its reliance on fossil fuels, and having worked with the Chinese for more than 15 years, that country gets things done.

https://www.carbonbrief.org/guest-post-why-china-is-set-to-significantly-overachieve-its-2030-climate-goals/

That sentence makes no sense whatsoever. That you're living in an eco-bubble. Poster after poster has told you that what you consider to be special (your virtue signalling eco credentials) is normal for most people. Mind you, it's often true that those who bang on about causes actually do far less for said cause than those who don't do the virtue signalling.

That said, I'd be telling my children that if they were so "disgusted" with their grandparents, they (and you) will obviously be too disgusted to take their money when the time comes.

YABU. Think about the world your parents grew up in. Their carbon footprint would have been a lot less then as they probably grew up without a car, without regular holidays, eating food that hadn’t travelled half way across the world, owning far fewer things than we all do now.

As for the disgusted grandchildren, are they really living lives beyond reproach? Do they own just a few items of clothing or do they regularly order hauls from Shein, ASOS, PLT? Are they contributing to the devastation impact fast fashion is having on the planet.

Do they regularly upgrade tech? are the flights they take necessary? (Who decides this?) do they change house decor every time there’s a new trend on Instagram? Your children sound insufferable. I’m sure if you all examine your own behaviour you’ll all find you could be doing more.

Glass milk bottles were reused, pop bottles were taken back to the shop, other glass jars were reused for pickles and jam, all home made.
Bread paper was used to wrap sandwiches in. Brown paper was folded and reused as was the string if we received parcels.

We didn’t have plastic bags or much plastic at all, it was a novelty when my dm bought a plastic tray.
No one I knew dropped litter and my family didn’t smoke.
Leaded petrol was the only petrol anyone could buy.

Running two cars, having holidays abroad and tvs in several rooms were certainly NOT common in the 60s and 70s. Many families had no car (and no phone); none that I knew had two cars or more than one TV. Our annual holiday was a camping trip to the south west coast.
And as for not recycling packaging, that was largely because there was WAY less packaging than there is today. Brown paper bags in the butchers, bakers, greengrocers was about the size of it. And in the relatively rare event of doing a supermarket shop, we re-used the wholesalers' boxes to take our shopping home. These boxes were left by the checkouts for us by the supermarket staff.

There was no infrastructure for recycling packaging anyway,- except of course for milk, which was delivered by the milkman in bottles which we ALL rinsed and returned.

We don’t have solar panels; we can’t afford them
We have one car and would use public transport more frequently if we could rely on it running.
We have turned down the thermostats so we use less gas and electricity and have invested in throws and hot water bottles.
We don’t have foreign holidays and haven’t for the last twenty years.

Well done for finding yet another way of being ageist and alienating your parents and children too.

did we have a summer?
if they are cold they have every right to put the heating on
who are you and your family to complain?

By asking if other people’s parents are the same you seem to be implying that older people in general care less about the environment. I don’t think that’s true. Some people in all age groups are very conscious of the environmental impact of their actions and some aren’t.

Unfortunately, some older generation get stuck in their ways. Look how hard it is to change their language about different races for example. Yes it's frustrating, but as long as you are happy with everything you're doing personally, you're not going to change them.

😂actually I take that back I read that wrong, sounds like china is getting even worse! They are feeling the effects of climate change quite badly though.

My nihilistic view is that the world is screwed. I'm more worried about how rapidly things are changing. I'm not sure solar panels and one or two less flights by your parents will make any difference other than to make you all feel a bit better about things. That's why I don't fly.

How nauseating. Leave your parents alone. Focus on yourself and stop trying to control other people.

How you can think you're superior and in an 'eco bubble' when you admit to owning a car is beyond me.

Personally, I expect less from younger generations as they have less money to pay for lifestyle changes (DS has had same phone for many years!). I feel that the burden of change should fall on older generations (including myself) as they often have more resources with which to do it.

shocking!
tell them to turn off their internet, and you turn yours off as well.
why do they have less money for lifestyle changes? do they need so many clothes/gadgets?

OP, unfortunately many posts about taking individual action against climate change attract the libertarian posters who invoke false extremists arguments about hair shirts and hemp string to try and drive home their own ill-informed points of view. And then you get the pile-on you see here.

Everyone can make small lifestyle changes which won't have a big impact on their lives but cumulatively have an impact. Many are probably doing things already for other reasons, e.g. eating less meat for health reasons, turning down the thermostat to cut energy bills, trying to buy less single-use plastic and recycling more to reduce waste.

@Ragwort are you my secret sister? The obsession with her own rubbish, our rubbish, the constant discussions on recycling & correct disposal drive me insane! Change the record mother!

My memories only really start from the very late 70s. What I have written is true of my experience, or rather the families around me. I remember it clearly because I used to get bullied at school for not having the same material assets as other families.

It doesn't matter if leaded petrol was all there was. It's what they were spreading around the place. Not that unleaded doesn't have it's own problems.

The hyperbolic language about spreading and spewing and throwing isn't making your argument any more convincing. There was a fraction of the number of cars on the road then, they were a luxury and generally used where necessary compared to now. Flights were also a luxury as low cost airlines didn't exist it's not noble as such as there wasn't the choice but previously generations lived far less convenient lives due to not having this things we now do that also contribute to climate change

I'm pushing 60 now and I can't remember my parents being wasteful ; the exact opposite they didn't have a car , the heating was rationed , we didn't eat takeaways and my mum bought food from the local shops ( it did have a lot of choice back then , but the supermarkets took over and many shut down over time)
Relative had an allotments and used to bring them fresh veg. Never went anywhere on holiday by plane ( train or a coach ) and only one a year if you were lucky. Sometimes not.
Milk was in glass bottles and returned and any treats like chocolate or sweets were at Christmas time only.
My dad refused to have a garden hose as it wasted water and used an old watering can back and front of the garden

Sadly my dad was the exact opposite. Would never put the heating on, preferring to sit in his coat. Walked everywhere even when he was really too frail. Stopped going on holiday when my mum died. Would keep things long after they were obsolete with age rather than replace them, and was so obsessed with avoiding food waste that he once got quite ill from eating out of date yoghurt.
It wasn't environmentally driven, it was coming from a generation that abhorred wastefulness and was unused to the disposable consumerism of modern society. So ingrained were his attitudes his life was far less comfortable than he deserved. However, on the plus side he had a tiny carbon foot print.

The worst line of your post OP is ‘the children are disgusted with them’ what sort of parent raises children to be disgusted with their grandparents. You sound truly awful to me, I feel sorry for your parents having a daughter like you.