Page 13 | AIBU: Elderly parents do not care about their impact on the environment

Isitautumnyet23 · 27/08/2023 10:52

babbscrabbs · 27/08/2023 10:44

But why would this be your response to a thread?

I don't get it.

If someone ranted at you about taking drugs being awful would you get the urge to start snorting stuff?

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I think its the fact someone is wishing their elderly parents not to travel and enjoy their life. They obviously love holidays (although interested to know how many flights a year is acceptable to the OP??).

I agree that we can all not use our heating unnecessarily and put on a jumper, but as people have said on here, some people still feel the cold. Personally i’d rather get solar panels if I needed heating in Summer, but there could be alot of reasons they dont want them - anxious about the work etc. Its their choice.

WibblyWobblyTimeyWimeyStuff · 27/08/2023 10:54

Kaz40s · 27/08/2023 10:52

You come across as a bit self righteous op. If you were my child, I'd completely disregard you too on the matter. The luxuries we have in today's society were not afforded to your parents generation as other replies have rightly pointed out. Let them enjoy their twilight years without you harping on at them 😂

The luxuries we have in today's society were not afforded to your parents generation as other replies have rightly pointed out.

EXACTLY. Why are (some) posters refusing to acknowledge this? And not responding to people pointing this out?!!!

probably because it negates their point and makes them lose their flimsy argument!

TGGreen · 27/08/2023 10:55

I'd put money on that your lifelong carbon footprint is greater than theirs. They had children when no one knew bugger all. What's your excuse?

JohnnyYenSetHimselfOnFireAgain · 27/08/2023 10:55

MrsBennetsPoorNerves · 27/08/2023 08:19

I assume that you have done everything that you possibly can to reduce your own environmental impact, given that you feel entitled to judge your parents?

So I'm guessing that you're vegan, childfree, live in a completely sustainable home, never fly/drive etc. And that you put reducing your own footprint at the centre of all your decisions.

If that's the case, then yanbu to be annoyed by your parents' failure to make an effort. If not, then you're a hypocrite, I'm afraid.

This is spot on.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 27/08/2023 10:56

It really astonishes me when people say stuff like this. 'Some anonymous random said something mean to me on the Internet so I'm going to do something to harm myself and everyone else just to show them'.
The most ironic is when they do something harmful in response to somebody calling them stupid, thereby proving the name calling poster correct

I think that poster's comment was for ironic effect. Implying that they're so annoyed by the self-righteous hectoring that the only effect it has on them is to want to do the opposite. I'm pretty sure that the OP didn't mean that's what she's actually going to do.

Or that poster just decided to throw it out there to see how many people would get into a humourless froth about it.

TerfTalking · 27/08/2023 10:57

IamFamousIam · 27/08/2023 08:26

Older generation have done their bit, bought from local shops, used glass bottles, probably grew up with no central heating , had small cars.

It’s the SUV driving, fast fashion, fast food, endless packaging generation that need to rethink.

Absolutely! Well said

MoreThanEnoughSoFar · 27/08/2023 10:58

OP, you are expecting too much from your parents. Let me explain.

Some years ago I decided to go back to school to get my IGCSEs (I'm currently at university.) In school I was subjected to massive information about climate change from some splendid teachers, not only info but reasons why it happened. I hadn't had that kind of education when I first studied, and it changed my mindset, not only on climate change but also on environmental refugees. In the media all I read until then was one side (woke) screaming at people about the environment, and another side (right-leaning) screaming about being woke. That didn't exactly inspire me to recycle or put up solar panels, and your parents get the same limited information from the media or from you.

Your children and you have the same vast knowledge due to schooling, so it's easy to forget that not "everyone knows this." Your parents haven't been taught about climate changes by professionals. When you, a daughter who doesn't sound very kind, try to explain it to your parents, you preach and give them the impression that you find them selfish or egotistical, and that is not the way to inspire anyone. Please stop expecting your parents to act like you or your children and instead be supportive. Please stop demanding they change.

Your children is disgusted with their grandchildren? Well, I'm a little disgusted that you managed to raise children who are so ill-informed about the process of getting older. How confusing it is to see the world change around you, and how cruel it is to experience your body and mind decaying. The older you get, the less stress you can handle and being met with scorn/disapproval from someone you love and trust is extremely hurtful. Being told to change by someone who is disgusted with you? Yes, I wonder why your parents aren't willing to change.

WeetabixTowels · 27/08/2023 10:59

You’re angry at the wrong people.

When you are old let’s see how you like being cold to the bone. It’s not like me and you being cold. It’s painful and deeply uncomfortable, can lead to health issues and a jumper won’t cut it.

Leave them alone and target the big corps that are actually making a difference to the planet being destroyed.

JohnnyYenSetHimselfOnFireAgain · 27/08/2023 10:59

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 27/08/2023 10:00

On MN? over 50.

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😂😂

WestwardHo1 · 27/08/2023 10:59

Scientistathome · 27/08/2023 08:07

My elderly parents acknowledge (in passing) that the human impact on the planet is destructive and that their family's future could be jeopardized.
However, they refuse to do anything about it. They burn gas and electricity in summer to keep warm (extra jumper? Nooo!), Will not Install solar panels (they can afford it), take unnecessary flights, ... the list goes on.
They flaty refuse to change any habits despite that they know they should and could.
I get quite mad with them!
AIBU?
I know it is their choice, not mine but it affects all of us (their grandchildren are quite disgusted with them).
Are other people's parents like this?
(I know that some parents cannot afford eco-friendly choices like solar panels)

In my experience a huge number of older people are like this. They say they love their grandchildren, but in practice just don't give a shit

meemawwww · 27/08/2023 11:00

My DD has a scar on her face from a minpin that was our own pet. He wasn't mistreated or badly trained. If the dog is that badly behaved the owner needs to be held accountable. Ring the dog warden

Cotswoldbee · 27/08/2023 11:00

Scientistathome · 27/08/2023 08:36

Thanks everyone for your messages; on average, it seems that I am living in an 'eco-bubble' and not in step with Mumsnet users. And I am being unreasonable!

For the record, we did install solar panels, we try to reduce footprint (lower thermostat, less plastic use, take public transport, only 1 car, etc)

Personally, I expect less from younger generations as they have less money to pay for lifestyle changes (DS has had same phone for many years!). I feel that the burden of change should fall on older generations (including myself) as they often have more resources with which to do it.

Some have asked.
Do you or have you flown on holiday?

WeetabixTowels · 27/08/2023 11:02

Your children is disgusted with their grandchildren? Well, I'm a little disgusted that you managed to raise children who are so ill-informed about the process of getting older

This in spates!! I’d rather be raising kind sweet children than little obnoxious nasties who think they’re better than the elderly

Oblomov23 · 27/08/2023 11:04

Your expectations are totally unreasonable. What exactly other than solar panels are you expecting them to do. Specifically? I put rubbish in black bin. Recycling in blue. I expect it all gets shipped to landfill and 2/3 sent to some poor country Turkey and Sri Lanka etc. disgusting. And they had s world conference up in Scotland 2 years ago which achieved practically nothing? Yet you are very scornful of parents?

meemawwww · 27/08/2023 11:05

meemawwww · 27/08/2023 11:00

My DD has a scar on her face from a minpin that was our own pet. He wasn't mistreated or badly trained. If the dog is that badly behaved the owner needs to be held accountable. Ring the dog warden

Oops wrong thread 🤣

WeetabixTowels · 27/08/2023 11:05

Personally, I expect less from younger generations as they have less money to pay for lifestyle changes

Skint people are the perfect people to make changes!

Public transport is cheaper than a car
UK holidays rather than foreign
Less to spend on bills

So this comment doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t cost money to be eco-friendly. In fact, at my local independent school some people drive 40 miles round to drop off their 4 kids in their MASSIVE cars and I’d say the onus is more on THEM to do better

Prelapsarianhag · 27/08/2023 11:06

Blaming and shaming will not change anything.

Mammyloveswine · 27/08/2023 11:06

IAmAnIdiot123 · 27/08/2023 08:42

DS has had same phone for many years!

We thank him for his sacrifice.

Berlinlover · 27/08/2023 11:08

I’m 47 and similar to your parents. What on earth is an unnecessary flight?

WeetabixTowels · 27/08/2023 11:08

OP describes himself as ‘someone with a Y chromosome’ rather than just saying ‘man’ so I’m not sure we should be taking the advice of someone so dense

Emeraldrings · 27/08/2023 11:08

So if your parents get solar panels, turn off the heating and don't fly the world will be saved?
They are elderly, if you can't relax and not worry too much after retirement age then when can you? They aren't going to be around to see what happens anyway.
Make your kids eco friendly and maybe teach them to be nice to their grandparents too. They won't live forever.

Wafflesandcrepes · 27/08/2023 11:12

My parents are the opposite. Never been on a plane, always lived in town so walked to work, only bought very few clothes, very careful with their water consumption etc….

WongWifi · 27/08/2023 11:14

Bloody well leave them alone! You sound like a nightmare How dare you show this amount of disrespect to your own parents. Oh, and grow up!

EveSix · 27/08/2023 11:14

Nala, you are conflating 'what we do on an individual level' with the presumption of being the only one doing, or ceasing to do, a particular thing. If many people in the UK decided to halve the number of flights they take, of course there would be a reduction in flights departing. "The planes will take off anyway, whether I'm on it or not," is one of the saddest misconceptions frequently raised in this conversation.
As an individual you do have power: with your consumer choices, whether to engage in different kinds of activism, from signing petitions and writing letters, through to financially supporting the work of organisations or participating in organised mass civil disobedience, and by keeping the conversation current.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 27/08/2023 11:16

When you are old let’s see how you like being cold to the bone. It’s not like me and you being cold. It’s painful and deeply uncomfortable, can lead to health issues and a jumper won’t cut it

When I bought my flat it didn't have central heating and that first winter was miserable despite having heaters. And I was in my 30s. Now in my late 60s and have no intention of being cold in winter ever again.