Name changed for this.
20+ years of friendship, have been times where we didn't speak much but overall very close. Messages almost every day, cards and gifts to each other's families on special occasions, gave a speech on my wedding, mentions me as his best friend to everyone. Just to clarify he is gay, so absolutely no romantic history.
Then a few things happened all at once. I randomly bumped into a picture on my instagram with his ex, travelling on his ex's page. After some scrolling down I noticed that he has pretty much been holidaying with him quite extensively and this is basically every time he told me he was travelling with his brother, maybe over the past 5 years, while speaking behind his back to me. Includes times I was heavily pregnant and was feeling a bit isolated, it seems he came to the city I live in and told me he was in another country.
He also started to speak incredibly negatively about other friends he seems to be close with, telling their marriage problems, how "low" their salaries are, how awful it is to be married with kids and property etc, which I find appalling.
The organised nature of lies and the fact that he is disclosing other people's secrets makes me feel I can't trust him and I just can't be friends with him.
He had a massive promotion recently and he has started to look down on everyone who hasn't been able to.
Shockingly he has started to cross boundaries with me as well, openly looking for negativity in my life, whether I would look to get therapy, if my mental health is good, if I'm "really" happy with DH, even though I gave him no indication of any problems in my life. On the contrary I feel I have been very fortunate to have bought my first property with DH and we welcomed our first child etc.
I went silent for a bit to process what is happening and he went mental - message after message which really suffocated me. then I invited him for a face to face conversation and he got all silent and avoidant.
Aibu to want to end this friendship? We had really, really good times together and did support each other through difficulty but I feel like I can't recognize him anymore, it became very toxic.