Husband is really annoying.

[ClippyClopp]

I think my husband is having some sort of mid life crisis. His behaviour has changed over the last 6 months or so and I’m really struggling to live with him.

He’s become very needy and seems to require a lot of attention. He’ll follow me around the house asking what I’m doing or talk at me about things which are completely uninteresting. He seems to require acknowledgment or recognition if he does something which is not at all out of the ordinary.

I’ve recently lost a couple of stones in weight and he keeps telling me how gorgeous he thinks I am, which I appreciate, but he takes it that step further and keeps trying to feel my breasts or grope me, like when I’m making dinner, or when I get in from work. He’s not a sex pest as he never expects it but he has developed this need to ‘play’ or have ‘a laugh’. He thinks it’s all banter and that I should be grateful he finds me ‘so attractive’.

I’ve told him I find this behaviour deeply unattractive and that he needs to recognise boundaries but he just says he doesn’t understand boundaries and responds with ‘you love me really’.

Will this pass? He’s almost 60 and I’m early 40’s if that’s relevant. We’ve been happily married for 18 years.

This would give me the serious ick. Nothing worse than a clingy man.

If you don't like him touching you then he should stop.

But I am a bit confused by posters saying it's sexual assault etc, do they never smack their partner's bum on the way past or give their balls a cheeky squeeze? I know I do and I don't ask permission first.

No and I'm not excusing that. There would be stern words with a few swears chucked in.

I think he's suddenly feeling old and noticing the age gap.

God, my partner is the least affectionate person known to man. It's just an annoying trait of his. But it does leave me questioning whether he even finds me attractive sometimes.
I personally would kill for him to be like this!!! I can't believe people are saying leave ?!!

Of course he can help himself! Don't let him get away with that OP as it's simply not true. Does he grope attractive women in the street? Didn't think so.

I'd hope you would stop if they asked you to

Then you need to tell your man what you need from him. That in no way makes it acceptable for a man to treat a woman like this when she doesn't want it

@AuntMarch .. it's just how he is. Always been the same, we love each other, but he is not physically affectionate.
I understand how OP's husband's behaviour could be irritating... but it cannot be a good relationship if physical touch (albeit a lot of) is causing this much of a problem. They are married !

Yuck.

You are married a long time to a much much older man, 18 years difference?
Huge.

If you love him you need to spell out that his behaviour is repulsive and if he continues you will find HIM repulsive.

If he doesn't cop on, then you may need to rethink the marriage because you are well on your way to the Ick.

I’ve spoken to him and told him he sometimes repulses me, he has apologised. He has said he loves and adores me and can’t help his urges and feelings but recognises he needs to express himself differently.

He has said he is struggling mentally at the moment, although he feels ‘jolly and jovial’ when he sees me but unfortunately has become a bit ‘lost in having no filters’.

He is going to try and restrain himself and I have agreed to give him more cuddles and reassurance. Hopefully this is a short phase and will soon pass 🤞

Well done.

Does he need to see the GP?

I think he should get a full check up.

His MH is fragile so best that he deals with it sooner rather than later.

I guess you need to tell him he had better to learn how to understand boundaries.

I think a health check would be a good idea. Disinhibition/poor impulse control can be associated with a number of conditions.

I actually think this is a v good point if it is a complete personality transplant you're witnessing - if it's just an exaggeration of past behaviour then less of a concern