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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think 2 1/2 months is enough time to get a kid their birthday present to them

37 replies

Dolores87 · 26/08/2023 17:17

DS 10th birthday was 2 1/2 months ago.
My sister had bought him a present but he told her he wanted the new Zelda game. She decided to send her present back and buy it him.
I thought how kind.
But it has been 2 1/2 months and he hasn't received it.
He is desperate to play this game now and had wanted to spend his birthday money on it, but I have told him no as my sister has it him (she was the one that told him).

It has got to the point where it is clear she isn't going to send it to him in the post and she forgot it when she came round to visit even though she had told DS she was bringing it. So DH offered to go over and drive to pick it up. That was 2 weeks ago and she never arranged like she said, but then they arranged to go get it this morning. This morning however she canceled as she's left it at her BFs. 10 year old was very excited. Now he is upset. Tbh she keeps saying he is getting it, he gets really excited and then it doesn't happen and he feels let down and upset.

I have raised it with her today and said could she please just send it or arrange for us to get it asap as it's all got a bit ridiculous. She's lost her temper with me and said she is annoyed about it all. She said she didn't have to buy him this game as she couldn't afford it and she's got other things to do. I said I appreciate that and I am grateful she bought it but it's been 2 1/2 months and many attempts to receive it now so I feel like it's got ridiculous, and DS keep getting let down. Things are now tense

So, am I being unreasonable?

I am being unreasonable - she didn't have to buy the game and so he can wait however long it takes?

I am not being unreasonable - his birthday was 2 and a half months ago, we have tried and been let down many times and DS is upset he keeps feeling let down and is at the end of the day only 10 he is really looking forward to the game and could have bought it by now with his birthday money?

I have a strained relationship with my family so I can't tell if I am projecting other family related hurts at this and it's actually no reason to be getting irritated or whether the length of time means it's reasonable to be both grateful she's bought this gift and irritable that DS keeps getting let down. Especially as it could just be put in the post surely.

Thanks

OP posts:
FuckoffeeBeforeCoffee · 26/08/2023 17:20

Sounds like she's not even bought it.

Duckcake · 26/08/2023 17:21

I'd assume that means she hasn't bought it. Mean to string your ds along

Sirzy · 26/08/2023 17:21

I dont think she has even purchased it.

i would go out and buy it (can you get it second hand?) and sell the other if it ever happens to materialise

LiOLeary · 26/08/2023 17:22

Just let him buy it. If she brings it return it or regift.

Clefable · 26/08/2023 17:22

She's not bought it. Buy it for him and if it ever turns up then sell it

Beckafett · 26/08/2023 17:23

It sounds like she has totally forgotten what it feels like to have child like anticipation for something. I don’t think you are unreasonable for trying to clarify the situation for your child’s sake.

WhisperingHi · 26/08/2023 17:24

She's definitely not bought it and has no real intentions to do so.

If I were you, I'd just buy your son it and move on.

SushiSuave · 26/08/2023 17:25

I agree that she hasn't bought it. Perhaps she made the offer before realising the price and now can't afford it. But that's no excuse and she needs to uphold her promise at at the very least be honest with you/offer some money towards it.

Whinge · 26/08/2023 17:25

I agree with the others, she hasn't bought it. Buy the game tomorrow and let him enjoy it, even if he just wants to play all day (and he will as it's an amazing game)

Dulra · 26/08/2023 17:25

Why did your son not accept the first gift she got him? That to me is the unreasonable bit

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 26/08/2023 17:27

When you say she had bought him a present and he told her he wanted the new Zelda game... I assume you don't mean that she said she'd bought his gift and he then turned round and said he didn't want it, he wanted the game, and that he just mentioned in passing that he wanted it and she decided to return the present to buy it?

Stratocumulus · 26/08/2023 17:27

Take control, today, now!
Order from Amazon & get it asap to DS.
If sister turns up trumps, regift it and tell her to pi*ss off.
You are not projecting & she’s a liar/waste of space.
Who needs this nonsense in their life??

10HailMarys · 26/08/2023 17:29

My guess is that she hasn't bought anything at all.

My money's on her buying him something, realising she was skint, sending it back for a refund and then never actually getting round to buying the Zelda game as a replacement.

It is shitty behaviour on her part. It's not like your DS is being spoilt or entitled - she told him she would get him the game and he didn't spend his birthday money on it for that reason. He literally just wants what he was promised!

EarringsandLipstick · 26/08/2023 17:30

YANBU to expect her to have sorted it - but it's clear she hasn't.

YABU to make such a fuss about it - in my family, I have family members (my DC godparents) who are rubbish about remembering birthdays / getting presents for their respective godchildren. It really annoys me because I remember their DC & also because I'm a single parent & these gifts are rare opportunities for my DC to get something that they couldn't otherwise have.

However, there's no point in making an issue of it. It would be nice for your DSis to sort this out. She clearly hasn't done it & isn't going to - just buy him the game & let it go.

Original poster
Dolores87 · 26/08/2023 17:30

Dulra · 26/08/2023 17:25

Why did your son not accept the first gift she got him? That to me is the unreasonable bit

He wasn't given the gift and doesn't know that there was another gift. He was just chatting to her and said he really wanted this game and she decided to send the other gift back she said to get him this game. This was already after his birthday at this point so I am not even sure if there was a different gift she sent back or whether she just said she was doing that to stall the fact she hadn't got him anything. I have no idea what the other gift was but I am sure he would have been happy with what ever it was if it did exist and she had given it to him :)

OP posts:
BoohooWoohoo · 26/08/2023 17:31

I think that she hasn't bought it and volunteered to buy it so she got the best aunt clout.
I wouldn't have made my son wait that long. He could have played it over the summer holidays.

Original poster
Dolores87 · 26/08/2023 17:31

ThickSkinnedSoWhat · 26/08/2023 17:27

When you say she had bought him a present and he told her he wanted the new Zelda game... I assume you don't mean that she said she'd bought his gift and he then turned round and said he didn't want it, he wanted the game, and that he just mentioned in passing that he wanted it and she decided to return the present to buy it?

Yeah he doesn't know that she had got him another gift. He just mentioned the game and she told me she bad decided to send the gift she had got him back and that's why his present was going to be late.

OP posts:
10HailMarys · 26/08/2023 17:31

Dulra · 26/08/2023 17:25

Why did your son not accept the first gift she got him? That to me is the unreasonable bit

I'm sure the OP can clarify, but I got the impression that she never actually offered him/told him about the original gift, and instead just told the OP that she was going to send it back ad get him the Zelda game instead after he mentioned in passing that it was something he wanted.

Original poster
Dolores87 · 26/08/2023 17:36

10HailMarys · 26/08/2023 17:31

I'm sure the OP can clarify, but I got the impression that she never actually offered him/told him about the original gift, and instead just told the OP that she was going to send it back ad get him the Zelda game instead after he mentioned in passing that it was something he wanted.

Show quote history

Yes my son doesn't know there was another gift. My sister told me she had decided to send the gift she had got back as he'd mentioned how much he wants this game. I am sure he would have been happy with what ever this other gift was and then would have spent his birthday money on this Zelda game.

OP posts:
itsgettingweird · 26/08/2023 17:38

I don't think she's brought it.

Let him spend his birthday money on it.

Silvers11 · 26/08/2023 17:39

I'm with everyone else - she hasn't bought it. Just get onto Amazon, or whatever, and get it delivered ASAP. Your Poor DS. That is shocking the way your sister has behaved

Original poster
Dolores87 · 26/08/2023 17:44

Thanks. I'll just buy a copy. I had put it off as I let him spend his birthday money on something else and she kept insisting she had it for him and he'd get it soon but like I agree I don't think she's actually got it him and is just stringing him along.

OP posts:
Acheyknees · 26/08/2023 17:44

What a disappointment for your son! If she hadn't have faffed and stalled for over 2 months he could have bought it himself with his birthday money!
It's obvious she hasn't bought it and the argument is a very convenient way of her stalling even more. Just buy it him yourself.

Coral12345 · 26/08/2023 17:45

Could you just say to her you don’t mind if she hasn’t got it but you want to know so your DS knows if he can just go and buy it himself?

Original poster
Dolores87 · 26/08/2023 17:51

Coral12345 · 26/08/2023 17:45

Could you just say to her you don’t mind if she hasn’t got it but you want to know so your DS knows if he can just go and buy it himself?

Funnily enough 2 weeks ago when she forgot it again coming over my DH said to her that it was completely fine if she hadn't got it but could she just let us know as we would get it him. She insisted she did have it. That she could prove it with the receipt and that she would make sure he would get it asap. DH offered to drive over to pick it up (she lives 50 mins away) and she said shed arrange a time over the next couple of days...then 2 weeks went by and now she cancelled this morning when they finally did arrange it.

In hindsight I perhaps should have just bought it myself by now but she kept insisting that she did have it so I kept thinking that wed get it soon and it seemed silly to buy it twice as it's a bit pricey.

OP posts: