to expect dd's dad to come and pick her up, rather than me take her to him

[splishsplosh]

I'm not living with dd's dad at the moment. On Saturday's he takes her to a playgroup (as long as he hasn't had a big night out on Friday of course).

If he's here I get up when she does (usually about 6am) get her dressed, breakfasted , pack buggy etc, then wake him at 9.15 so he can stroll downstairs and leave the house with her.

Today as he's not here he expected me to take her to meet him in town so he could avoid the extra 45 minutes travelling to get here then to playgroup. But of course I'm doing that travelling instead.

Bearing in mind I get up earlier than him every single day, and am almost 10 weeks pg, is he as selfish and lazy as I think he is?

YANBU My god he is being incredibly selfish. May be the reason you are not living with him atm?

Say one little word...
"NO"

Then follow it up with..

"You f**ing selfish lazy pig"

I've said those things so often I probably say them in my sleep these days
It makes no difference to him. If we ever manage to discuss it he says the right things, admits he needs to try harder, do more etc, but then carries on the same way.

Last Sunday I did manage to convince him he should do the travelling when he took her out for the day as it was a trip with his mum to see his sister, and I did not see why I should have to leave the house at 7.30 to help him. But then he holds that up as an example of how he does try, and does make an effort. I struggle to appreciate these gestures as he thinks I should as to me it's just doing the minimum of pulling his weight, not making a huge effort.

If he's not living with you, why is he there on a Saturday morning to be woken up by you?

Actually, a good solution would be to let him have DD overnight so that you get a big night out (and stay at a friend's so you get a lie-in).

er, it's his responsibility surely? Joint parenting and all that. I would just say No, That's not reasonable. And he can then choose what to do. Do NOT make things easy for him that put you out, certainly not if he wouldn't do the same for you

He didn't move out that long ago, so the waking on a Saturday was before that, although he did stay here 1 Friday night for his convenience, and it was the same story.

I've suggested she could stay at his - but he shares a house with a young cousin, and says they both smoke in the house, so wouldn't be appropriate.

Weegle - I think his and my idea of joint parenting differ wildly. His definition is to do what childcare he wants, when he wants, and how much he wants.