My BF and I have been together almost 9 months.
He’s been pre occupied all week and been very vague about making plans as he was thinking he was going to take his sons away for the weekend, so I hadn’t made any plans for myself until I waited to find out what he was doing.
Yesterday morning he decided he would talk to his sons when they arrived in the evening to see if they wanted to go into the city for shopping and lunch, I agreed and was looking forward to it.
When we were chatting later in the evening, I said I’d be bringing my dog with me for the weekend, like I often do. Which then caused a problem as we wouldn’t be able to leave her alone all day. (She was also spayed earlier in the week so is in need of extra TLC and rest). It hadn’t occurred to me that I’d have had her with me when we chatted about it in the morning as my mum or oldest DD sometimes look after her so she doesn’t always come with me. So I said I’d ask my mum if she could look after her for the weekend, she got back to me this morning and she was unable to help as she had plans this weekend.
He said he would still be going with his sons regardless as this was his holiday time from work.
When we had our morning phone call, I said I had the dog with me so I wouldn’t be able to go with them but could come over when they get back this evening and spend the night and day tomorrow before my DD’s come home from their Dads.
He’s become angry with me about it, and my lack of planning has now meant he has to spend the day alone with his kids again. He’s now not speaking to me, I’ve had a few grumpy messages about how unhappy he is about what’s happened. And how it’s just one thing after another with me.
he asked how I’d like it if he did it to me, and if I’m completely honest if he had to cancel a day out because his dog had, had an operation so couldn’t be left I would completely understand and change the plans to fit in with him. I wanted him to go and spend the day having a nice time with his kids and not change it for me (not that it was offered).
I’ve had a pretty awful year, it has been one thing after another going wrong. This seems to be a problem for him, he always talks about how it affects him but doesn’t seem to think about how it could possibly be affecting me. I split up with a long term partner last September due to him being an alcoholic, I’m battling with an eating disorder that I’m desperately trying to keep under control, dealing with my 2 DD’s emotions after the break up and abuse that was suffered during my last relationship, I’ve had to start working full time - and still not earning enough, my mum who is my only support has moved away, I’ve had to take out a restraining order against my ex, my ex is also refusing to let me sell our house so I’m stuck here being held hostage effectively until he decides that he wants to sell the house when all I want to do is sell and move away for a fresh start.
On top of all of that my new bf lives 45 minutes away and won’t ever come and see us at our house. So after a full day of physical work I have to pack the 3 of us up and drive to see him. He originally stopped coming because my ex would turn up out of the blue but has stopped after getting the restraining order.
Was I really that much in the wrong for messing up todays plans?