Golf

[mrsplum2015]

Ok I feel like iabu but I am not happy with this situation.

I am mid 40s with a dp over 10 years older.

I have dc living at home and dp has older dc.

My dc live with me 8 nights per fortnight and I work ft. Dp lives with me and pays a minimal amount to cover his share of mortgage and bills .

My mortgage is big and my income / outgoings are v tight.

So do loves his hobbies and travel which I completely appreciate; he has time and money to enjoy.

The main point of contention for me is golf.

He can apparently only play at weekends. Generally Saturday afternoon. And wants to play at least once per week. This means he is out of the house for 7 hours minimum each Saturday. And then comes in around 7, eats, and then falls asleep on the sofa after.

He also spends time getting ready, lots of money on equipment, clothing and membership.

I just feel like this takes a massive precedence over our relationship and time with me.

Aibu?

Golf widow has been a description I've heard a lot. My previous boss was worse - one day a week, one weekend day for fun, lots of whole weekends for matches and a week's holiday every year.

If it doesn't work for you then make changes

Sounds like there are two separate issues how much dp is contributing and the time out playing golf. If dp living with you full time should be contributing 50% of the bills.

I play golf - book a tee time for a Saturday for 7 am - quick drink and back home home by 11.30 am. Gives the rest of the family a bit of chill time together to recharge and then we start our weekend together. If something is on that day I don’t play - having a relationship is about compromise on both sides. The issue with your dp is the time choosing to play and socialising after.

Yeah ok, don't think you read the original thread

I am more than happy to support his well-being but I don't have time for golf or any other hobby that takes such a large period of time

And the inequality is the issue sadly

Wish he would juggle work more often as think it would be a great opportunity during the week

My horses take up more time than golf ever could, so i can't have an opinion as i think commitment to regular hobbies is brilliant regardless of who is left at home.
My partner knows they are priority and if he wants to see me more he has to come to the stables 😃