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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Lads holiday.

24 replies

Sunnydayaway · 26/08/2023 01:15

I’ve been seeing a guy for a few months exclusively and he’s going on a lads holiday this weekend for 10 days. We have been messaging and I said ‘hope you have a good holiday’ and he’s put back ‘thank you I’m sure I will😉’
Aibu to think this is basically him saying he wants to get with other women whilst away. Just thinking because of the wink emoji what he’s trying to imply

OP posts:
Japaneseflower · 26/08/2023 01:27

Hmmm, yeah, that response is an interesting choice of wording. Maybe just ask or joke even, 'hope you don't mean seeing other ladies' or something if you have that type of relationship? But yeah, I definitely understand your feelings about his response.

BiIIie · 26/08/2023 01:39

Is this a joke? Surely thank you I'm sure I will just means thank you I'm sure I will ffs!

ilovesooty · 26/08/2023 01:43

BiIIie · 26/08/2023 01:39

Is this a joke? Surely thank you I'm sure I will just means thank you I'm sure I will ffs!

That was my reaction. I don't see why there's anything untoward about his response.

PaminaMozart · 26/08/2023 01:50

I’ve been seeing a guy for a few months exclusively

Are you sure the exclusivity is mutual, and are you in an actual relationship?

A 10 days lads holiday seems somewhat inappropriate for someone who - and I’m showing my age here- is going steady.

id lay my cards on the table and thrash out where this is heading. And walk away if I had any inkling that he thinks it is acceptable to play away.

CuteCillian · 26/08/2023 01:56

A lad's holidays depends on the lads! Some groups may be golfing, some sailing, some etc.etc.
I would expect a few drinks and a few energetic exploits, but certainly not sex in in a committed relationship.

excelledyourself · 26/08/2023 01:56

YABVU

You're either exclusive or you're not. If you e agreed that you are, why don't you trust him?

And this:

A 10 days lads holiday seems somewhat inappropriate for someone who - and I’m showing my age here- is going steady.

Ridiculous. Not least because he might have had this holiday booked before they even got together. But even he didn't, it's far from inappropriate.

I'd run a mile from a guy who told me it was inappropriate to have a holiday with my friends at any time, never mind months in.

DebbieLouiseDairyleaCheese · 26/08/2023 01:59

So is he your boyfriend if you're exclusive? I think that changes things.

PaminaMozart · 26/08/2023 02:15

It’s the OP who called it a lads holiday, and I am assuming that this is what it is - and the wink emoji supports this interpretation. If it was to go to see soccer or play golf or visit museums et cetera I expect she would have said so.

having said that, until she comes back and clarifies what kind of relationship this actually is, who knows. But I’d not put any money on him being faithful

BiIIie · 26/08/2023 04:31

People on MN do have such low opinions of men it's crazy.

araiwa · 26/08/2023 05:00

Aibu to think this is basically him saying he wants to get with other women whilst away.

Fucking hell

foolishone · 26/08/2023 05:02

It's the wink isn't it. For some that might mean 'I'm planning to be naughty' but not for others. People do use weird emojis.

Riapia · 26/08/2023 05:45

BiIIie · 26/08/2023 04:31

People on MN do have such low opinions of men it's crazy.

Many women’s lives have been ruined by trusting a man.
Trust a man after knowing him a “few months “ ? 😉😂😂

TastesLikeStrawberriesOnASummerEvening · 26/08/2023 05:47

It might, it might not, either way, it bothers you so end it now.

Autieangel · 26/08/2023 05:52

I doubt he would send you a message to imply he intends to have sex while away.

I would read it as he plans to have fun. People can have fun without the sex. Has he given you any reason not to trust him?

seafronty · 26/08/2023 06:11

The winking emoji is the sluttiest of all emojis. Subhuman scum.

rwalker · 26/08/2023 06:14

seafronty · 26/08/2023 06:11

The winking emoji is the sluttiest of all emojis. Subhuman scum.

Thanks for educating me on this I had absolutely no idea of that and use it a lot

WandaWonder · 26/08/2023 06:15

It could mean he thinks Donald Trump is an imposter, it could mean covid was a myth it could mean you are deliberately trying to make it a thing because you like seeing things that are not there

Shoxfordian · 26/08/2023 06:22

He used the wrong emoji so he’s cheating? Wow

araiwa · 26/08/2023 06:24

‘hope you have a good holiday’

You told him to get with other women 🙄

TheaBrandt · 26/08/2023 06:26

Depends on the holiday, cycling in the alps - low risk. Trip to Thailand with all male group a different proposition

Pinkglittery · 26/08/2023 08:10

seafronty · 26/08/2023 06:11

The winking emoji is the sluttiest of all emojis. Subhuman scum.

And there was me thinking the 😏 was the sluttiest. I'll rethink my emoji usage immediately.

BiIIie · 26/08/2023 09:06

Riapia · 26/08/2023 05:45

Many women’s lives have been ruined by trusting a man.
Trust a man after knowing him a “few months “ ? 😉😂😂

Show quote history

So your recommendation would be to end the relationship because the absolute cheeky bastard decided to do something totally insane like go on holiday? And the icing on the cake he USED AN EMOJIIIIIII NOOOOOOO GET RID GET RID GET RID. Batshit.

jeaux90 · 26/08/2023 09:14

Thinking too hard about it OP. I might have replied that I had some fun nights out planned though just to keep him on his toes. Grin

Honestly though he either will or won't cheat and if he does it's no reflection on you. Tell him to have fun but not too much fun... followed by the winking emoji back.

Maryjaneslastdance · 26/08/2023 09:55

YABVU

Are you normally this insecure in a relationship?

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