Changing midwife 26 weeks ?

[Highfivemum]

Bit of a dilemma and would like others advice please.
I am 26 weeks pregnant. Was a surprise as I am 45 and didn’t find out until 18 weeks but myself and my DH are happily married with DC and are happy. Had a booking to see midwife three weeks ago. She cancelled said she was busy with new mums. Rearranged for three days after then she cancelled again due to other work. Re arranged again for wednesday and when I got to the clinic came out and said sorry but she had a breast feeding lady who was struggling and as she knows I have had DC and am experienced I would understand missing the appointment. I came home and felt really upset. Yes I have DC but I am 45 and have concerns and would like to be checked over. I have known this midwife for 10 years and she was my midwife on three of my other DC so knows me and I got myself into a dizz thinking I am an easy cancellation for her. After speaking to my DH I called the surgery on Thursday and asked for a callback from her. I wanted to explain my concerns about not having a check up etc but when I did she said if you have any worries just make a GP appointment as you know what to look out for etc. I said about my age and as yet I hadn’t been seen by her and she said will make sure you will see me at the 30 week check she will book.
I came on the phone still feeling like I was being given the fob off.
would you change midwife’s. ? Is this now the norm with midwife’s dealing with mums of DC already. There is another surgery in the next village and I am thinking of changing. I have lost a bit of confidence . Any help thank you

That doesn't sound great.
I think I would have said so when I got there, and she came out and cancelled again. I would have said "No. You've cancelled my appointment twice already before today. I've had to rearrange work and I am here now so I will wait."

It is ridiculous you have got to 26 weeks without having been seen by a midwife. Yes, you may have experience, but you are also quite old to be pregnant (hope that doesn't sound offensive - you have said it yourself - I'm talking from a medical pov)

All that said, I am amazed you have ever had your "own midwife". That sounds like a real privilege compared with any of my experiences.

I am not sure I'd give up a GP place in my own village, for one in the next, to cover the next 14 - 16 weeks against the next 40 years.

This is totally unacceptable of the midwife.

I would make a complaint and then move surgery.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

I'd change. Its no guarantee that anything will get better, unfortunately. I'm 32, pregnant with my first child ans my experiences so far of midwives has been dreadful. I changed at 25 weeks after my first midwife didn't attend any of my initial.appointments (saw a duty midwife) and wouldn't answer calls or texts or give me my MATB1. New midwife is similar, gave me my MATB1 but is honestly so.dismissive and can't wait to get me out of the room, tells me to just crack on when I ask for advice or support, blanks calls and messages... shite really. I wonder if their time is so taken up with complex mothers that they don't have capacity to support anyone not in crisis?!

Please call ur gp and ask to see some one else u need to see a midwife just coz u have had kids in the past does not give her the right to fob u off....I must admit my midwife for my last 2 baby's have been really good but my first pregnancy my midwife was shit never answered my calls never turned up for my appoiments and never rebooked them waste of time

That's totally unacceptable and I'd definitely change. Obviously there's no guarantee but I'd like to think this wouldn't happen with a different midwife. Tbh, when I was pregnant I found that the midwife I had was also quite dismissive and couldn't wait to get rid of me during my appointments. The midwives during and after birth were brilliant though!

yep I would change midwives, she won’t see you so I can’t see a single reason to stay with her.

I agree, you should change. What about things like blood pressure and urine dip? Those aren't things 'you can look out for because you already have DC'

It's not normal to be fobbed off in favour first time pregnant women. I'm with the same midwife I had for first DC and she's actually offered to see me more frequently than the standard NHS schedule for second timers (If I want to, I haven't accepted)

Might even be worth a complaint in writing as you're not getting the minimum standard of care

Congratulations OP. I wouldn’t change surgery, as it is convenient for you. I would complain to Practice Manager. Just because you are already a mum, doesn’t mean your treatment should be less favourable, surely. Given your age, I would have thought you should be prioritised tbh. Sounds extremely odd given you have had this midwife in the past. I had the same midwife with both of my two and she was just as supportive and caring with each of my pregnancies. Good luck

I thought they’d be more concerned to see you, if you’re 26 weeks and haven’t yet seen a midwife? Surely they need to urgently organise your scans, screening tests etc.

I never had a single midwife. All my appointments were at the hospital with with a variety of midwives. Is there any option for you to ask to.be seen at your hospital?

Yeah we had a traumatic birth because basics of screening weren't completed. The NHS response amounted to 'don't be ridiculous of COURSE they must have been done'

I saw a succession of locum midwives from the other side of the city and never the same person for more than 10 minutes. Mostly they just handed me a pot to wee in and waited for someone to appointed. It never happened.

This is putting your and the baby's health at risk. It's just not acceptable. And what's she going to do if you do develop any issues, tell you you're experienced enough to deal with it?

I would make an appointment with the GP asap and get them to to urine and BP etc and do the check and explain that the midwife has not seen you.
mid was years ago now but my first Dc was shared care with the gps and we alternated check up appointments with them because of midwife capacity

Have you had a scan?

That's awful! You need checking for growth, blood pressure and urine checks. Definitely change.

I've never had same midwife twice!
(3DC)
If that particular midwife can't see you, another one should be provided

At 45 you count as high risk so should be being seen by a consultant too I think? You should also be taking aspirin due to age. It's really bad she's not even seen you yet.

Thank you for your responses. Just to clarify I was seen by a doctor ( thought I was going through menopause ) who sent me for a scan. Had the scan at 19 weeks but nothing since. I think I will just try and get a doctor appointment and explain my worries. It is difficult as I live in a small very tight knit village and I hate to rock the boat but feel all I have done for the last month is worry.

No, absolutely not okay. Have you had bloods taken?

You need to be seen and assessed for the need for any further interventions or referrals (eg consultant referral, medication reviews, aspirin, GTT, anti-D). You must take this further, you are not receiving appropriate antenatal care. Is your midwife definitely aware that you have not even been booked at 26 weeks?? Or does she think she's cancelling routine midpregnancy reviews?

To be clear, also not okay, but if you contact team and explain you have not yet been booked, they should take this very seriously.

Congratulations by the way

Yes i agree to have the same midwife for three DC is good . Though she was never my midwife at hospital only for checks at the Doctors.
it is seven weeks since my scan and not seen anyone just three cancelled midwife’s appointments.

Thank you.
Actually you are right I haven’t been booked in as yet! When I went to the Doctor initially he took bloods which confirmed the pregnancy, he then sent me for an urgent scan a few days later which came us as 18 weeks pregnant. The doctor said the midwife would be informed and I received a call from her with a date to go to see her but never have as she has cancelled.

Phone up again. Make it very clear that you need a booking appointment as you have not yet been seen at all. It should be a very long appointment to allow full discussion of history and full assessment, if it's a short appointment they've not scheduled the correct thing.

It's possible that reception or the midwife are looking at your gestation and assuming you've already been booked. But you really need to be fully assessed so you can receive appropriate care.

You should phone and kick up a fuss about not even having a booking in appointment, phone the community midwife number though so that you hopefully get a different midwife answer the call.

Definitely change midwives, I did so in my second pregnancy and it was the right move (in fact I wish I had done it earlier as it took me a while before calling it the last straw). I made a complaint and was very well supported after that point. Sorry you are having this experience and I hope your next midwife will help you to feel seen and supported.

I agree with all PP.

Also, I would speak to the GP about taking 150mg aspirin daily (I am 42, FTM, consultant advised it was sensible from after 12 week scan to help guard against pre-eclampsia.

But you need your booking appointment done, bloods and urine.

Have you considered an NIPT test?

have you had any scans? in my health authority if an older mom you are automatically referred to antenatal high risk clinic and have more scans.