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AIBU?

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Original poster

Text after First date

21 replies

Honeybu · 25/08/2023 19:54

He text saying “really enjoyed meeting you today it was lovely and you seem to be an interesting lady, no matter if you just want to be friends or something more just thought I would let you know” I don’t just want to be friends I would things to eventually more to relationship but not sure what to reply here as it’s just first date, please suggest response and what do you think he mean?

OP posts:
ShirleyPhallus · 25/08/2023 19:57

Someone calling me an “interesting lady” would immediately give me the ick 🤣

What do you think of him, do you want to see him again?

Original poster
Honeybu · 25/08/2023 19:59

😂 I do want to see him again. He’s been in long term relationship for 16 years recently single 9 months ago, so possibly he’s not very experience talking to women

OP posts:
VeridicalVagabond · 25/08/2023 19:59

Hmmm, sounds like maybe he's a bit insecure and is expecting a rejection or a "I didn't feel a spark but let's just be friends" response.

Did you enjoy the date? Do you want to see him again? If so just tell him that!

Honee · 25/08/2023 20:00

I think that's a nice message. I would say I enjoyed it too and looking forward to seeing you again

WunWun · 25/08/2023 20:01

I agree he sounds like he's interested and hedging his bets in case you say there's no spark.

I would say something like "Lovely to meet you too blah blah blah. I'm definitely interested in meeting again and seeing how it goes if you are :)"

Tomhanksismine · 25/08/2023 20:01

Sounds like he is a little insecure and expecting you to say you're not interested so the ball is in your court.

Aerin1999 · 25/08/2023 20:02

Honee · 25/08/2023 20:00

I think that's a nice message. I would say I enjoyed it too and looking forward to seeing you again

I agree - he was trying to be respectful and complimentary….tell him you would like to see him again…

WunWun · 25/08/2023 20:02

I wouldn't actually say blah blah blah, to be clear

SaleOfTwoTitties · 25/08/2023 20:02

I'd think he wasn't sure if you liked him. Maybe just say you are looking forward to seeing him again soon.

gamerchick · 25/08/2023 20:03

Balls in your court that says.

If you want to see him again then say something like 'i enjoyed our date, would like to see you again, let's sort dates '.

TaniaBania · 25/08/2023 20:05

Just say you had a good time and would like to see him again. No need to get into friends v something more- that’s just him giving you an out in case you’re not keen.

Badbadbunny · 25/08/2023 20:06

Sounds good to me. I presume he's an older bloke due to the way he's written that. Maybe just not sure about modern etiquette - he clearly wants to see you again, but giving you an "out" if you don't or if you want to but want it to be on a friends basis only. Also, sounds very respectful. Just maybe a bit clumsy with his wording, hardly surprising if he's been out of dating for so long and is an older man more used maybe to formal writing than text/email slang.

honeyrain · 25/08/2023 20:06

Nothing icky or insecure about the message! As other posters have said just respond with something like "yea I enjoyed our date! Looking forward to seeing you again"

felisha54 · 25/08/2023 20:07

Sounds like a nice message to me. Id rather be called girl or woman rather than lady as that's something id use when describing my granny.

JudgeRudy · 25/08/2023 20:09

I think it's likely he's not very experienced in dating and is just wanting to let you know there's no pressure but he'd like to see you again. You don't need to outright say you were definitely hoping for a relationship, but how about a something along the lines of
"Thank you, name, I enjoyed your company too. Looking forward to getting to know you further on our next date."
That reassures him you're interested and he can make the next move.

HectorSalamanca · 25/08/2023 20:11

That is a nice message. He is being very gracious and leaving it open if you didn't want to be more than friends. But you do!!! So message back to say you enjoyed the date and are looking forward to meeting up again
😍

Lwrenagain · 25/08/2023 20:38

What did you do for your date? 😍

Definitely says balls in your court!
And i like he's said you're interesting, shows he's listened to you!

If you want to see him again, then suggest doing something, I used to enjoy dates where it was something I'd not do with friends, like unusual gallery exhibitions and a few drinks after. Occasionally a shag 😂

So for something to reply, so you don't need to go too deep, I'd say, "thanks for a lovely time 😊 would you like to come do
insert whatever you fancy with me?"

Notlongnow01 · 25/08/2023 20:46

I think that’s fine. Yes it’s a bit old
fashioned but he’s hedging his bets in case you’re not keen. I wouldn’t have a big discussion about it. Just say you would like to see him again!

Original poster
Honeybu · 30/08/2023 19:11

Hi all thanks for your lovely advice and message I did reply to him saying I had a great time and would love to see him again on the same day and we send few text back and forth on the evening and saying good nights. But not heard from him since Friday night and nothing to set Abou arranging another date yet, I’m just confused now? I don’t want to text him again as feel I made it clear on my text that I’m interested in him “enjoyed your company and would love to see you again”.

OP posts:
shivermetimbers77 · 30/08/2023 19:20

Hmmm, that is strange that he hasn’t texted since Friday.. I would usually say wait to hear but in this case, as his first message was pretty clearly showing interest, I reckon you would can be fine to text again to say eg “are you around on Saturday , there’s an exhibition/bar/restaurant I have heard good things about “ or something like that..

Lwrenagain · 30/08/2023 19:34

Don't text, if he wants to see you he will make an effort.

Worst part of dating, the unknown waters.

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