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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I'm never going to be a mum

7 replies

Asherund · 25/08/2023 14:18

I'm 35, in a job that's on 2 weekly shift rotation, antisocial hours, 32.5 hours a week, 32k a year. Not sure there's anything better in this field.

Just finished paying off debt, but still renting and only now having a good shot at decently saving. Never been in a long term relationship and not even been in an exclusive one. Had some situations with someone who turned out to already have a wife and with someone who lived abroad, that's it. I'm not very confident with intimacy related things despite wanting it. Lost a load of weight, left with horrible skin but has given me confidence on the outside but feel like it's still a bit late for that. Feels like I should be where I'm at now when I was 25 at the latest.

Want nothing more than to be a mum, seems unlikely to be able to just decide to do it solo based on my job and finances. Feels like randomly succeeding with a partner in the very near future to the point we could even be trying for a baby is slim, especially when fertility will have already dropped for me.

Feels like I've tried to get my life on track and when I finally have, it was for nothing, as I'll never get to be a mum.

OP posts:
Summer2424 · 25/08/2023 14:51

Hi @Asherund ,
Bless you hun, i celebrated my 40th birthday, i was single, no kids.
I met my husband had a baby at 41 yrs old. Now when i look back 35 yrs old is young! Continue being the gorgeous confident woman you are, everything will fall into place xx ❤

TheKeatingFive · 25/08/2023 15:19

Could you look at your work situation? Is there a way of getting to more manageable hours for child minding purposes?

lilyboleyn · 25/08/2023 15:22

As a single parent I got universal credit support to get me through maternity leave. Is there someone that could help you with childcare? How would you feel about going it alone?

drpet49 · 25/08/2023 15:27

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Offyoupoplove · 25/08/2023 15:32

Could you switch career’s to something some family friendly and go it alone? Sometimes having a plan helps even if we can’t achieve the plan right away.

Asherund · 25/08/2023 15:33

The hours at work cannot be changed, so I would have to move jobs and I'm not sure I'll get anything that pays that for the hours. My mum would definitely be able to help with some childcare for sure and I wouldn't mind going it alone, I'm just not sure my financial situation is good enough really Sad

OP posts:
BringItOnxxx · 25/08/2023 15:35

You get a lot of support for childcare with Universal credit. Go to turn2us.com and put info into a calculator. If you want to be a mum go for it. Xx

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