To move main bedroom further from young children’s bedroom?

[PurpleRains]

Current situation, DS5 and expecting 2nd child. We live upstairs in a long house (all rooms off one long hallway). Current set-up is stairs up to living room, kitchen/office, bathroom, (second flight of stairs to hallway, currently unused), our bedroom, DS bedroom, spare room/nursery.

I want to swap our bedroom and living room over to make a slightly larger living room. We currently have a two seater sofa (sold as 3, but very awkward for 3 people to sit in a row if guests!). We eat off a small table at sofa or laps and DS has a child’s table and chair. There is room for the high chair when we reach that stage. But….I want a larger sofa or 2 (preferably sofa bed for guests when spare room becomes nursery) and space for a small (extending?) table and chairs.

My partner originally agreed to this, but changed his mind after a couple of days of me researching furniture etc. His main argument, apart from cost, is that our bedroom would be a long way away from the children’s rooms. I estimate it to be about 23 metres. It doesn’t sound a lot, but I get it’s a long walk in the middle of the night! Our current monitor doesn’t work that far (thick walls) but maybe I can find one that will. What do you think? AIBU to want a larger living room at the expense of being further away from small children at night?

Forgot to say, current distance from our bedroom to spare/nursery is about 10 metres, and about 7 to DS.

It would be a no from me. Firstly you don’t want that trek for night wakes. Even if you keep them in with you until sleeping through, you get random blips/regressions and then it’s a long old walk at 3am. Then you get the awkward older toddler bit where they’re in a bed, can scramble over a stairgate but not yet mature enough to have free run of the house so you want them pottering straight into your room first thing not doing a 23m walk and being distracted by god knows what along the way. A baby monitor won’t alert you if they silently creep out their room then flood the bathroom for instance. I’m sure you know this it being your second and all!

@TropicalTrama we’ve been very lucky with our first! He’s a good sleeper and doesn’t leave his room unless we tell him via the monitor to come to us. My DP does keep reminding me that we might not be as lucky second time round 😬 thank you!

Wouldn’t bother me OP. We have a townhouse and our young kids plus baby are on a different floor to us down a corridor so we have to go down stairs and down a long corridor to get to them at night. We find it absolutely fine. No issues from us. Why not just try it for a week or so and see if it works for you?

Haha that was my first too! Second whole difference game.

@ohsoso thank you. It’s a lot of hassle for a week, but not irreversible if we did do it (before I buy furniture that doesn’t fit in the current set-up anyway!). I grew up in an attic room before baby monitors so I’m very good at shouting!! Wouldn’t have been an issue for my parents but DP is a worrier!

@TropicalTrama DP says I’m too confident/smug about our first 😂 (he has too older children). He thinks second one will try us!

@PurpleRains I’m the worrier here and was a bit nervous when we bought this house being on a different floor but it’s been fine. I have a lot of friends round here in town houses. Top floor is master and en suite. Kids on middle floor. It’s quite the norm here!

We're a long way from out 1st/2nd. If your first was sensible, your second may well be too (ours both were and never tried climbing out of cots or over stairgates and just happily sang/ gurgled away when they woke up). When they're young they're usually in with you for 6 months anyway and then I find the increased distance means you don't disturb them as much when you're getting ready for bed etc. I wouldn't do it without a monitor that works reliably though.

I guess by 6 months you'll know if it's viable or not. If they're sleeping through and your first did, that's so different to if you're doing 2 hourly breastfeeds or something. Could also depend on season. You might it want a trek across the house in a cold winter. Do you have to make the change before baby arrives or can you wait and see?

The distance wouldn’t bother me, but I would be saying no to moving furniture up/downstairs, sod that.

Too far way, I don’t like to tell you this, but….our first was an absolute dream baby, so contented, happy, our second, came as a shock, he was the complete opposite, and the reason a third was totally off the cards! Good luck OP I hope you have a better experience.

It's not so much the distance for me but that houses feel a bit weird when private and public areas are mixed- having to walk past bedroom(s) to get to living room doesn't feel right.

If you're eating in living room area it's also worth considering the distance from the kitchen as it can feel like a lot of hassle to be carrying everything back and forward down a corridor. Not a huge hardship in the grand scheme of things but it does feel a bit annoying- our house worked so much better once we'd got rid of the "long" trek to the dinner table!

My 3rd is still in with us. We've got two spare bedrooms currently and our older 2 share still (3&5).
Our room is big enough for the cot, it's behind the door and way out of our way.
Not crossed my mind to move him and his turning 2 in Nov.

Whatever you decide it should be what works for you family as a whole. You are right to consider living space a priority with your family growing in my book.

I would maybe see how it goes. Ordering furniture etc always seems a bit previous to me anyway so I think that's something that you could hold off on while it gets worked out.

Hopefully something will come to you both that works.

I've had 4 good sleepers so you've every chance. We are in an attic conversion on a different floor from all 3 children's bedrooms. I've never thought of it as an issue (maybe because they didn't wake during the night) on the odd occasion that they have- if ill, it's never been an issue. I've always moved baby to their own room between 9 and 12 months. Good luck OP 😄