To think people with money would never understand

[Canfeelamozzieflyingaround]

I live in an affluent area, we have a nice, but average house, I’m from a middle class background (I think!) but one parent from a working class background, all very down to earth.
I have a good job, degree educated, but it’s not a well paying job. In the holidays I supplement by doing some childcare/babysitting. I often babysit for wealthy people. Just being in their homes and everything about the way they are and the things they have is so different.
They would have no idea, for example that we live basically month to month and these little nights working for them pay some small bills or afford a small treat for my dc…to them it would be nothing.
Even the things they fill their fridges with and the sun creams and toiletries used (not snooping! Some on tbe coffee table, on the toilet etc)
I don’t know..I always feel less of an adult when I leave and wonder why my life didn’t go like this and theirs did

Public sector jobs are highly competitive in poorer areas and usually go on nepotism because they are well paid compared to everything else.

Highly competitive? Is that why schools everywhere are struggling to get staff and keep them?

@SnowWhiteAndTheTwoKids

Try an industrial town in the north west of england where a starting salary is 30k. London gets paid more but everywhere else they get paid the same regardless of whether you live in leafy Devon or some shit town in the north of England.

Are people that out of touch they think that a starting salary of 30k at 22 years old with annual increments along with the benefit package they get is not a lot when you look at finance manager jobs in shit town being paid like 30k and they want experience.

Lol

According to reed the average salary for chartered accountant is 46k
Teachers are paid on a national scale with weightings for those in inner and outer London

You see Plymouth as a wealthy area?

Thats an interesting perspective. Its not generally seen as such here in SE.

I am surprised that a senior chartered accountant is underpaid though. Even in NW.

@JudgeJ

Why couldn't my brother who has 1st class degree and wanted to be a maths teacher not get a job within 65 miles of our home. All of the friend on his course who's parents were not teachers have left the profession as all they got was supply. Sorry but nepotism is big in the north for public sector jobs.

My MIL for my SIL a ward clerk job. She has zero qualifications and was working in a supermarket. Why she got that job??

@Cosyblankets

So you found the uk average salary at 46k. Well try a poor area of the uk and compare that to a teachers salary that doenst change??? See the problem here.

We could play this game with everything though. I'm not doubting it's annoying for you (I also think I made a mistake with my career) but "Why do they have kids why I can't?" "Why are they healthy? "Why are they in a relationship?"
I dunno? Good luck/bad luck? You know about 10% of most people's lives. So much is chance.

@TheThinkingGoblin

Yes it is obvious who lives down south and who is also a public sector worker. They think they are poorly paid but really in a shit northern town a job for life with good benefits and pay that rise with increments is sort after. They start on 30k now at 22 years old. Look up average grad salary jobs by region and compare that.

The starting salary for teachers is good but you quickly reach your max salary unless you move to more senior roles. I would not describe £30K a year as 'rolling in it' though!

I used to be a teacher in a non UK country. It was so badly paid that I had to do other jobs to survive. I would make more money waitressing over the weekend than I did teaching. This is just the way it was - and still is - there. It's why I left!

I had my holiday, was very lucky to have 5 days in Cornwall. I had someone at work today asking me when my main holiday is!! They go away about 4 times a year to nice places. I do get where you are coming from.

If you read my posts, I grew up in grinding poverty, as did my DH. I didn’t, unlike you, enjoy the comparative privilege of a middle-class background. I was hungry and cold as a child. My parents worked hard, manual minimum wage jobs all their working lives, wrecking their health in the process. DH and I have been supporting them since our first jobs after university. They have tiny state pensions and very poor health. I’m also supporting younger siblings. And I’m not from the UK, though I lived there for many years.

Absolutely, life isn’t fair, and I’m aware that, had I lived at a time without university scholarships and grants, I’d probably be in a minimum wage job and struggling, because that’s what my parents and school expected.

My point is that there’s absolutely no point in passively complaining about what other people have in their fridges on the internet, while breezily pretending it doesn’t matter to you that your babysitting clients didn’t have cash — ask them for what you need, however humiliating, if the alternative is no food for your children. And don’t assume their expensive sun cream means they’ve never known poverty.

I'm not sure what you mean a teacher salary doesn't change. They're on a scale with increments

@Cosyblankets

Yes. I meant the average uk salary for an accountant is 46k. Take that by region and that salary drops massively in poor areas. That also includes people with many years of experience. However other that london every teacher gets paid the same regardless of whether you live somewhere in the south east or in a shit northern town with lower overall wages. Again we comparing starting teachers salaries to average accountant. It's not like for like as the average teacher pulls alot more than 30k. It probs is around 46k now for a teacher. Which is a lot for a northern town.

So its about relative incomes by region of the UK..

I have similar worries as you though you probably earn more than me - warehouse picker, part time due to disability and a waste of a space ex partner. This week the company did not book me for one day so next week I'll only be paid for 2 days and this morning I woke up to hot water flooding the kitchen from a burst pipe. Ended up needing a new kitchen tap too 😥. We're visiting dd2 and her dh this weekend and they think nothing of paying £100 for lunch out. I know I have to own my mistakes ( I also have a good degree) but I'm sure they also have stresses and I'm relieved dd is not in my position.

It's really not fair to assume they just don't realise or get it. I live a lovely comfortable life, DH makes a lot of money, I have a small part time job myself, but I mainly do it because I like to keep busy I don't need to work for the money.

I grew up in extreme poverty. Hungry all the time poverty. Neglected by my parents. Thrown out the house at 13.

It is NEVER lost on me how lucky I am now. I am 40 now and still appreciate the full refrigerator of food, or that I can buy my kids strawberries in December when they are extortionate and pick up bits of anything without worrying what the total will be.
I drill this appreciation of our life into our teens. I never want them to take our blessings for granted.

If I won the euromillions, I would still think of my hungry tummy at school. (I did not grow up in the UK, no such thing as a school dinner) I could never forget being poor.

My husband and I are in a similar situation and I just got a book that you might like- it’s called Your Money or Your Life by Vicki Robin. It’s really helped me reevaluate my whole relationship with money, what i buy and I’m finally starting to even save money

Are you blessed with good health, love, a warm home and food on the table.....

If so take a reality check!

@Ventureintheslipstream Any casual glance will tell you what Director of Services earn in local government because these salaries are published. Heads of schools and senior NHS management are well paid. However they don’t build a business or take risks. Certainly not with their own money as the self employed do! Their salaries are benchmarked against the private sector. The only difference is the government pegs back public sector pay but that doesn’t mean it’s the lowest or doesn’t have buying power.

The more you have, the more you find to spend it on to have a nice life.

I'm a tutor. 5 of my wealthiest clients have decided not to pay me for August because they're going away for a 2 week holiday so the other two weeks seems pointless. Not much I can do about it, but it does sting. Stings more when they then ask me why I'm not going on holiday!

Another one gave me 10 mins notice that she wasn't coming yesterday. I was 100% relying on that money for a food shop for my children.

It's always the 'new' wealth people that do this.

I have some other amazing clients who are also away but have paid me and said to enjoy the break as I deserve it. Swings and roundabouts I guess! I might add I would cover the two weeks holidays people would miss, I'm not expecting to get paid for not doing anything.

Maybe dwelling on people who have a lot less than you would be an idea. In other words count your blessings.

I've been where you are, needing to do a second job to make ends meet and husband doing perpetual overtime.
It's hard, both the physical energy to do the two jobs, and emotionally draining too because there's the constant worry of what if...
I dug in, studied, eventually got rid of the husband who was financially abusive, and worked my way into a position where I don't have to worry about money (but I still do, old habits are a nightmare to break)! So I think you can get out of your current situation as you're hard working etc.
Re them not paying you - simple - they pay you on arrival or you don't do the work for them. If they're not in, they either transfer the money to your bank or leave cash on the table for you. People who value you will understand, as pretty much everyone other than the ridiculously rich who seem to move in a totally different sphere, will have either been there themselves or know someone who has been, or is where you are just now.

Yes, when I pay online for say the plumber recently or to reimburse a friend for a theatre ticket my payemts were in their accounts in minutes. There is an option to have the payment sent over on a specific date but I believe in paying people straight away

I have no parents and under 40, so I am doing what you do, I'm in awe and envy of having a parent to ask for help. Sorry not a race to the bottom but this could go on ad infinitum.

Exactly - so my suspicion is that these people are actually living a lifestyle way beyond their means and can't actually afford to employ the OP or at least can't afford to pay on the day which is why there's sometimes a delay?