Fucking fed up

[septicsmeg]

All of a sudden I have a twelve year old boy whose gone from being sweet and kind to moody, rude and disrespectful. I'm losing the will to live. Demanding stuff he's never demanded before and saying why did you buy yourself shoes for the gym (£8 from Vinted). Lost the plot at this point I told him I bloody work full time and I don't need to justify what I buy to you.
I refuse to talk to the boy tonight

12 is a mad age op, hormones are nuts- my 13yo suddenly would go from happy out to shouting and crying and I’d be going irrational too and then one day I saw something in his eyes, like he was confused that he was even acting like that! Saying that I tried to talk it out with him and he’d take everything I said wrong and snap again. Sometimes I snapped, sometimes I just gave him space, sometimes I’d preempt it and I’d just sit with him while he played fortnite or we’d have a game of chess or noughts and crosses or watch a (probably slightly inappropriate) film. From what I’ve seen these are the scary years, up until they’re an adult, and when you can lose them easier. Better to try to be a team x

Does he get pocket money or allowance? Whether for chores or not. The answer would then be that he can save up and buy them himself.

Do you remember your own tween/teen years? Any photos or diaries etc you could read? I'm sure you were a grotbag at times too. Not easy but it's a natural stage.

well, having kids and being married comes with a bit of hardship

I wish I could afford to give him pocket money but struggling to get by as single mum. No one said it would be easy and I wouldn't change for the world but it's tricky

His hormones are raging, I’m sure you’ll want a bit of understanding when you start the menopause. Difficult times but I’m sure you’ll all come out the other side intact.

Gosh it's going to be a long few years for you OP!

Yeah I was a handful as a teen I think

His hormones will be raging. He’ll go from feeling happy, to sad, to rage, to anxiety and back again many times. Imagine how confusing it is for him!

My son is the same, sometimes I lose my temper but mainly I try and get into his world. Sit with him while he plays Xbox, watch something together, give him a big hug when he’s in tears because he doesn’t understand why he was so angry ten minutes previously.

Its hard. Pick your boundaries and pick your battles but he’s still really a little kid trying to figure out his place and dealing with all the shit that comes with being a pre-teen.

Try to keep communication going. I go on walks with mine (15), started in lockdown, just me and him, 30 minutes round the block. He talks at me the whole time about what he’s done on the latest game. I nod along mostly and sometimes talk about something different, nothing heavy. Occasionally he strops but mostly we’re ok. Long out the other side with his older brother (20s).

septicsmeg
not single but can’t afford pocket money either op, I don’t think most can, don’t worry about it xxxxx

Of course I'm going to be there for him he's my world I have had a long stressful day at work and I think I'm knackered so tolerance level lower

I hear you OP, it’s not easy at this stage. Mine does improve sometimes, makes me laugh and talks (a lot) and then moments later, I’ll have to tell him off for being rude. It’s a hard time for both of you but (allegedly) it gets easier.